


Nirvana - Tales from an Archangel

by Search_N_Destroy



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF, Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Anal Sex, Bottoming, Dark Character, Falling In Love, First Love, Forbidden Love, Gay Sex, M/M, Nephilim, Oral Sex, POV Adam, Swearing, Tommy Joe, Topping, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-02-11 09:08:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12932082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Search_N_Destroy/pseuds/Search_N_Destroy
Summary: Adam is one of the top Archangels who presides over the people of LA. his existence to mortals is unknown as are all angels who walk among us, but when Adam meets a particularly intriguing Nephilim it begins a chain reaction of events that could change his life forever.....





	1. Where Angels tread

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! so it's been a long time since I've actually done a series when writing fan fiction, but I am going to have a stab at it as this story has been rolling around inside my brain for a while now.
> 
> This is a work of pure fiction, meaning I can do and say what I like without anything having to be 100% correct in 'the real world'. this is an alternate universe so please also bear that in mind. so characters may appear different to their real life counterparts because I think that's kinda fun, right?
> 
> I'm going to TRY and updated this weekly.... but please don't shout at me if that falls by the wayside from time to time, as life sometimes gets in the way of my writing. I am aiming for around 6 chapters but who knows! I'll let Adam and Tommy decide when I've finished telling their story ;) 
> 
> Any comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated <3 I suck (not in a good way) with gay sex scenes (they'll feature later on, hence the ratings) so please try and be gentle with me! - I hope you enjoy the ride.

Scars make us who we are  
Hearts and homes are broken, broken  
Far, we could go so far  
With our minds wide open, open

 

Our kind has been around since time began, the legends had not matched up to the earth shattering reality and enormity of it all but still we endured. The legends of Angels of course started in biblical times though if you ever ask any of us there are no instances of anyone meeting a higher power or a god, that is like a legend to us ourselves.  
There of course are many different types of Angel, for example Cherubim are the knowledge keepers who work and reside within the dusty tomes of the record halls. They are tasked with things like managing human kind and were supposedly the ones who cast Eve from the Garden of Eden.  
Far from the fat little winged babies depicted by ancient art, they are actually sphinx like creatures with human faces. Insufferable, boring and not particularly pretty.

Then you have the Dominions who are middle management if you will, they receive orders from the cherubim, then dish out jobs to the lower ‘worker bee’ angels. They of course make sure that the cosmos stays in order and again are not particularly thrilling company for parties.  
They’re your standard human looking angels, only in power suits with clip boards and usually dodgy rounded spectacles which served the only purpose of making them look even more boring and secretarial.  
Then you have virtues which appear as really weird little balls of light, their main purpose is to take orders from the higher up angels and convert them to miracles for deserving mortals.  
When they do make themselves known to mortals they usually appear in the form of a musician, artist or scientist and generally work with the powers of love and physics which in itself is baffling.

Then there are the powers who in their celestial form, appear like brightly colored, hazy fumes. Powers are border patrol agents between heaven and Earth. They are the angels of birth and death.  
Then you have the Nephilim who are regarded as the lowest of the low because they are the product of an angel breeding with a human. They are used as servants to higher angels and are usually treated quite poorly by those who believe them to be impure, tainted by humankind which is an odd notion considering angels are meant to be benevolent and divine.  
And lastly of course there are angels like me. The Archangels we are the soldiers and the protectors of both humans and angels alike, we are warriors and are regarded as the highest angels which usually means that we are treated like royalty.  
It’s not entirely a bad existence but it does get a little tedious when other angels fawn all over you and won’t let you lift a hand to anything that is outside the realms of your purpose.  
Sure I had a large penthouse apartment in downtown Los Angeles, ironically named ‘the city of angels’ by humans. I have my music, closets filled with expensive high fashion, fast cars in the underground garage and the adoration of human and angel alike but I am still lonely at night.

The exalted archangel Adam lonely, it sounds pathetic even to me but it’s the truth. I had just returned from yet another skirmish with a pack of demons at the border between earth and the abyss.  
It had been a particularly taxing challenge as usual and had resulted in me receiving quite a few injuries, including some broken feathers in my magnificent wings, which in itself is irritating because I pride myself on my appearance.  
My battle gear was drenched in the thick black stinking ooze of demon blood that had corroded parts of the armor and left burns on my pale skin causing it to flake and itch.  
Solomon my personal Dominion and for all intents and purposes personal assistant started buzzing around me relaying messages I had missed for the day and being a general nuisance as usual. Clipboard in hand and a pair of magnificent horn-rimmed glasses perched on his long thin nose, he scurried around setting up meetings even though all I ever did was nod my agreement and on occasions grunt in response.  
Finally he looked up and added “Oh and I’ve arranged a Nephilim to come and tend to you, I should imagine you’ll want to get out of those clothes” he wrinkled his nose at the offending ooze “and by the looks of it your wings need some preening” 

I hate this, the Nephilim’s main job is to look after the higher angels. Which meant that after an Archangel for example, comes back from a battle it is their job to bathe, administer first aid to lesser wounds, dress and mend or replace the clothing of the angel they’re attending to.  
They were almost like maids or servants and I for one cannot stand it, I’m the kind of angel who likes to tend to himself thank you very much. I hate being fussed over like a child but at the same time I know that this is hierarchy in its most plain and simple form and there is no way Solomon will take no for an answer.  
I just simply nod to show that I understand and hope that will be enough to make him leave so I can actually have some peace and quiet after a long hard day when there’s a light knock on the door.  
Well this is just perfect, I was trying to think of a way to get rid of Solomon so that I can then dismiss the more than likely overly enthusiastic female Nephilim without him knowing and now I’m stuck in this situation.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice the fact that Solomon had already answered the door and ushered whoever it was inside without my actual permission, and was now conducting what sounded like a business meeting which entailed specifics about my ‘needs’ whilst I silently died a little bit inside.  
Solomon finally left to attend to whatever middle management business he did when he stopped bugging me, and I was left with a stranger in my penthouse who was currently setting up their various tools for the job at hand and what looked like a massage bed.

“You know you don’t have to do that, I can sort myself out I’m sure you have more important things to do” I sighed irritably as I became aware that the stranger was filling my claw footed tub in my master en-suite. 

“It is my job sir, I am swift and efficient so I won’t be intruding on your valuable time” the voice drifted in over the sound of running water but it sounded male?

It was usually the female Nephilim’s who came to tend to the Archangels, mainly because most Angels were happy to be surrounded by beautiful halflings but my tastes are more…. Well, specific.  
He appeared then from the bathroom into the master bedroom where my feet had unwittingly carried me as the curiosity grew. He was slim and smaller in stature than I was with a shock of blonde hair the fringe of which fell delicately into his eyes. His features were petite and angular which showed that he was indeed half angel, but his eyes betrayed his human side with their deep brown coloring.  
He was wearing a black tunic and black dress pants which stood out harshly against his porcelain skin, it was the usual uniform they wore when they went about their business but something about it just didn’t seem to suit him.  
“So you’re a guy” 

He bowed his head obediently “Yes sir, I hope that will not be a problem? I can always send for a female if it makes you uncomfortable but you may have to wait” his voice was soft yet official probably a product of his training.

“No, it’s not a problem. I just don’t often see male Nephilim” 

“That’s because we’re usually killed at birth if we’re male” he said so matter of factly that it took me by surprise.

“I didn’t know that”

He smiled gently though it did not touch his eyes before he continued “My name is Thomas Joseph and I will be serving you tonight. If you would like to go ahead and undress and settle yourself in the tub I shall be in momentarily” he bowed his head again before walking out of the room to retrieve his things.  
I did as I was instructed undressing and laying my damaged clothing on the counter before stepping into the bath he had prepared. The water was a shimmering pool of what looked like liquid gold; it was gloriously hot and smelled like sunshine with floral tones, the second I was submerged my muscles relaxed and all the aches, pains and itching subsided as I slipped into a blissful state. 

I was just contemplating whether or not I could comfortably live in this bathtub forever when I was aware my visitor had returned, he was pottering around cleaning and sowing my torn and battered battle gear completely in silence. He finally sat down cross-legged on the bathroom floor with his head bent over his work as his nimble fingers doing his bidding.  
He worried his bottom lip on occasion between his teeth completely lost in the task at hand just the same way I was lost in staring at him. He was beautiful but in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on and it intrigued me until I could no longer stand it.

“So, Thomas Josephs a bit of a mouthful huh?” 

“I guess my mother thought that if she gave me two biblical names I’d fit in better”  
I let his gentle voice wash over me “Your mother is mortal then?” I don’t know why I was probing him to be honest I usually don’t like to talk during these things but there’s just something about this guy.

“My mother is mortal, father is an angel. I have no idea who in case you were curious. They don’t really stick around after conception” his voice was measured but not unkind.

“And your mother knew what you were?” 

“Yes, I think she secretly knew what he was when he came to her. She was just desperate for a child” he gave a tiny shrug with his slender shoulders.

I sat silently for a few moments wondering how anyone could wish this on themselves, knowing the kind of life that child would have to endure. They’d never fit in with mortals because they were different but they’d also never fit in with angels because they were thought to be mutations, unclean half-breeds it was in essence a cursed life.

“You said that male Nephilim are killed? I wasn’t aware of that”

He looked up then perhaps a little caught off guard “Forgive me sir, I spoke out of turn” he lowered his eyes once more.

“Please, my name is Adam and I encourage you to use it. I don’t like this whole hierarchy bullshit so can we just speak frankly?”

He placed the repaired gear down on the floor in a neat pile before rising gracefully to his feet. He crossed the bathroom soundlessly to retrieve a loofer and a couple of other things I couldn’t see.  
Appearing at my side he knelt down beside the tub “may I bathe you now?” he asked waiting for my permission, I nodded and he proceeded to dunk the sponge in the water. Bringing it up to my chest he began to wash away the remains of my earlier encounter with the demons, spreading warmth wherever he touched as the stress and dirt of the day melted away.  
I closed my eyes satisfied as he swept over my shoulders and arms and around my neck and down my back, his touch was like sunshine and I cursed my body for the way it reacted to him.  
He left the sponge to float in the water, gently bobbing for a few minutes while he spread a thick medicated ointment over the burns and flakey skin on my chest in a precise manner before heading over to the sink to wash his hands “I shall leave you to wash your intimate areas, and once you are ready I will come and wash your hair and tend to your wings” he bowed before leaving the room.

I hurriedly cleaned myself and called him back in, desperate to talk to him and hear the sound of his voice again. So I waited till he was halfway through washing my hair before I tried again to strike up a conversation. “You don’t suit the name Thomas, it’s too restrictive”

He continued his washing as he gently massaged my scalp, and I was thankful he couldn’t see what was happening to my body beneath the shimmering water “you may call me whatever sir, we introduce ourselves so we sound more professional. It is at your discretion whether or not you use our names”

“What do people generally call you?”

“I’ve been called many things sir; it, you, half-breed” he listed them off nonchalantly 

“It? That’s appalling!” I felt a sudden rush of empathy for the poor beautiful boy then.

“Well, strictly speaking that one is mainly used when they have difficulty defining my gender. I’m very effeminate as it turns out” he said the last part as if it was a revelation to himself which made me smile.

“I meant what do your friends call you? Your family? And please stop calling me sir. I told you my name is Adam” 

He rinsed my hair silently and I wondered if I’d somehow insulted him though I couldn’t imagine how. He fetched a large white fluffy towel and stood with it outstretched ready for me to rise and wrap myself into it.  
He was careful to look away as I did so keeping my modesty intact before redirecting me back into the lounge where the massage table was waiting. “My friends and family call me Tommy Joe, you may call me by that if it makes you more comfortable. Adam” he added my name hesitantly as if he had just uttered a taboo word.

“But for now I need you to lie face down on the table so I may see to your wings” I eyed the table skeptically.

“Okay, but you have to promise we can talk further” 

His face was neutral and patient “if you wish” he finally sighed as if he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

I laid down on the table as instructed and waited for him to speak again though he seemed pre-occupied with stretching and flexing my large black feathered wings. They twinged painfully and I let out an involuntary hiss which finally caught his attention once more “is it painful when I fully extend them?” 

“Not painful” I lied “just sore” my façade slipping slightly as he flexed them again and I pushed my face into the bed wincing.

“And I thought Angels were meant to be divine and honest” he mumbled the comment but I caught it nonetheless. 

“I think you have a laceration to your Alula on your right side, you’ve also lost some feathers from your left ventral fray and bent a few on your right dorsal fray” he concluded gently running his hands over the feathers causing a low moan to escape my parted lips, though he mistook it for a moan of pain.

“I’ll have to treat the laceration with some ointment and then remove the broken feathers and trim the bent ones. I shall be as gentle as possible” he soothed. 

He stepped away then to collect whatever tools he needed before returning to his task with a swift efficiency I am sure the higher ups would have been proud of, he removed the broken quills first which was surprisingly uncomfortable but bearable.  
He had just started trying to straighten the bent quills back into place when I tried to tackle him again about that burning question “So Tommy, what did you mean about males of your kind being killed?” I tried to turn around to see his expression which only resulted in a white hot pain shooting through my wing, a hiss of pain and a very unimpressed Tommy.  
“Please try and stay still, this is delicate work Adam” his tone was reminiscent of a parent chastising a naughty child, I laid back down in a not so manly sulk as I waited in silence for him to answer my question.  
Sensing that I was waiting on him he finally sighed deeply before beginning in a monotonous tone as if reading from a particularly boring book. “Angels have always seen Nephilim as dirty half-breeds. Angels dirty little secrets that should never have existed, all for a few sordid minutes of fun” his voice tinged with bitterness.

“It was once thought that if male Nephilim were to reach adulthood, they would one day overthrow the angels for they would know of both heaven and earth, making them stronger. So most males were killed to prevent this from ever coming to fruition and the females had their wings cut off once they reached puberty to remind them of their place – beneath angels – because they were unworthy” he clenched his teeth.

“But, you’re still alive so…..” the thought of anything human like being killed weighed heavy on my heart, but the fact that these creatures were the offspring of an angel and they were still willing to kill them made me feel suddenly sick.  
I was definitely going to have to dig deeper on this matter because I couldn’t be entirely sure this was correct information, I’d never heard of this practice happening so maybe it was something human parents told their Nephilim children to keep them in line like a warning to be good or the angels would come for them.  
Either way it was a sick notion to even contemplate, humans lying about angels to their children making out that they were monsters – which could be possible considering they were impregnated and then left to raise bastard children something of which would enrage any mortal – or that angels were willing to sacrifice their own children to ensure they were on top of the proverbial ladder.

“I am only alive because my mother hid me until I was eighteen, I had already reached adulthood and as such could be classed as a mortal man. It is a loophole of sorts someone provided her with when she realized what I was”  
He had finished with my feathers and had moved onto the laceration cleaning it as gently as he could before he could apply the ointment. “She risked a great deal”

He nodded “She has always loved me well. I think she wishes that I didn’t have to do this work but it is what it is”

“What would she want you to do instead?”

“She always imagined I’d be a musician I think, I’m very virtuoso with stringed instruments – it must be the angel part of me” 

“Why didn’t you? You could have just lived as a mortal instead of doing this” Tommy finished up with his wound care leaving me to sit myself up on the bed, finally able to see his beautiful angular face again.

I don’t know what it was about this boy but there was something about him that piqued my interest and I was desperate to know more even though I knew I shouldn’t.  
We had always been taught not to consort with his kind and I never actually took the time to ask why, I had just followed blindly not even aware to the possibility that they had their own minds, thoughts and feelings. I’d never stopped to consider that they had loving families and hopes and dreams causing me to curse my own ignorance.  
And he was so beautiful, the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen now that I looked at him properly. The way he carried himself with such grace and poise edged with something human and gritty, the juxtaposition of it all was driving me crazy every time he moved or spoke.  
And those lips; so plump and wet just begging for someone to rub their thumb over them, drawing them red from the harsh contact against soft skin. I wanted to own him like a master with a pet but at the same time protect him from the nightmares, safe inside the cocoon of my soft strong wings as his tiny frame rested against me.

I had always had specific tastes when it came to romantic attraction but I had always had to hide what I truly was from the outside world. It was frowned upon we all knew how the bible read: Man shall not lie with man. And if I had so much as shown that I felt otherwise I would most likely have been cast out, stripped of my wings and a disgrace to my family name.  
I tried to shake the feelings swirling around inside me as he busied himself with the cleanup, packing up his things and when I finally moved to the mirror to inspect his handiwork on my wings he spoke again.

“I messed everything up” he said quietly “I was in college and I lost my temper, and…. Well there was no denying it then. I let them take me and integrate me to protect my mother. I’d ruined all she had built for us…. For me” 

He changed the subject quickly and I assumed he didn’t want to talk about it anymore “were you born an angel?” he asked his voice urgent as if he wasn’t supposed to be talking in this manner to someone of my ‘status’  
“Yes, I have a mother and a father. Only Seraphim’s are created the rest of us mimic man” 

He nodded more to himself than me as if taking in the information “I thought so, your wings are black. Usually Seraphim’s are golden, Cherubim’s are white…. It’s usually born angels whose wings are different colours depending on their hair colour”

“What about Nephilim? You said your kind have wings before….” I didn’t know whether or not to mention the fact that he said their wings were removed as a punishment as it seemed rude.

“Silver” he answered simply enough, but there was something about the way he shifted from one foot to the other as if he was nervous or hiding something.

I was just about to ask him why he seemed nervous when there was a knock on the door breaking me out of my questioning. Of course it was Solomon coming to ruin all of my fun with that damned clipboard of his, I should have really known that he wouldn’t have left me alone for the rest of the night.  
He strode into the room grumbling on about how I needed to de-brief him on earlier events and only seemed to stop his tirade of managerial purpose when he spotted Tommy Joe in the hallway.

“I thought you’d have been finished by now boy” he said coldly eyeing the smaller man as he drew himself up to full height in a superior manner that irked me.  
“I am sir, I was just leaving” he replied in the same subservient professional manner he had had when he first arrived, all trace of humanity gone again and it made my heart ache.

“well get gone then half-breed, we have important business to attend to” and with his eyes fixed firmly on the floor he moved soundlessly to the door, only stopping briefly as he juggled the things he had to carry whilst trying to open the door.  
I stepped in trying quickly to speak to him once more as I pretended to help him with the door, this only made Solomon tap his foot impatiently as he waited for the little blonde to leave “Don’t listen to him, you are more than you are” I whispered close to his ear he turned to face me briefly those gorgeous eyes flicking up to mine quickly before dropping back to the floor “No sir, I know my place” he said solemnly and with that he left.


	2. Everything has a price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secrets come out, stuff happens and things get complicated.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support so far! I hope you enjoy this chapter as it was one of my favorites to write :) fun fact: I wrote this chapter on the Eurostar as I traveled to Disneyland Paris for the start of their 'enchanted Christmas' celebrations. sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes, I do have raging ADHD which means my mind writes faster than my hands can manage sometimes. anyway on with the show!

_"I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be It doesn't matter, go on and shatter I'm all you need Broken pieces, break into me So imperfectly what you should be Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open"_

“Honestly” Sauli said as he slung himself down on the couch and proceeded to make himself comfortable “I don’t know what you’re worrying about. All Nephilim feel slighted because of their position in society, I wouldn’t take his claims as gospel Adam” 

He flicked the TV on nonchalantly and stretched out “Yes, but how do you know? I’ve never known a Nephilim like it” Sauli rolled his eye dramatically “What? Unprofessional?” I shot him a reprimanding look and though it wasn’t unkind he huffed in response

“Really you should report him for speaking to you like that, like he was familiar” Sauli meant well but he was angel through and through, which often meant he adhered to the rules like they were law.  
I had always loved Sauli, we just never really worked out much to both of our disappointment. But he had always been one of the few people who knew the real me, the me I hide from all others.   
Sauli was like me in so many ways and yet completely different in other ways, if I was the dark avenging angel then he was the light peaceable one with his blonde hair, blue eyes and pale cream wings.  
Where I was ruled by my heart and empathy for all living creatures no matter how seemingly insignificant, he was ruled by his head and logic handed down since time began.

He meant nothing by it really, but it did little to comfort me when I was worrying about something “I just can’t shake the feeling though Sauli, you didn’t see the way he spoke of it” sensing it really was troubling me he changed tact.  
“if you want I can do some recon, and see if I can find anything out?”

“I haven’t seen him since, I just hope nothing happened to him” it had been a number of weeks since Tommy Joe had come to me that night. And even though I had tried to find him again by requesting Nephilim for various jobs, I’d not yet been lucky enough to get him.  
I had begun to worry that he’d gotten himself into trouble, as by the seems of things he had gotten into trouble in his earlier life, resulting in him being stuck here serving angels with the rest of his kind.

Sauli smiled peacefully “I will find out Adam, if it puts your mind at rest” I was thankful to have Sauli in my corner, not many angels would go to any effort to help you where a Nephilim is concerned. And a few hours later I thanked him again as he hugged me and left.

I didn’t really hold out much hope of finding him, after all he was one of thousands of Nephilim registered and serving but I just had to put my faith in Sauli. I also prayed he would be discreet about it as he wasn’t usually the covert type and I really didn’t need people asking questions.

A month or two passed as they always do with meetings and battles, and on occasion interventions where humans were concerned and I’d almost given up hope.  
Sauli had been off negotiating some peace treaty with another species – which was after all his job – and I didn’t want to keep asking him when I knew he had other business to attend to. One day he appeared unannounced on my doorstep once more, taking me by surprise.  
I realised as he pushed past me into the entryway of my penthouse that he wasn’t alone, I must have still looked shocked as he turned to me and asked “Are you alone?” his tone was rushed as if something had scared him, I just nodded mutely.  
“Good, Good” he nodded more to himself then to anyone in particular before roughly pushing the small boy in my direction.

“It took a while but I found him, turns out you were right to be worried. Luther and Kelum were using him as a punching bag, been there a while I think”

I looked down suddenly and a cold shiver ran down my spine, his once perfect fine featured face was swollen and bruised. His eyes had been weeping some thick yellow fluid and his blonde hair was matted with substances I couldn’t distinguish.   
He didn’t raise his head he just stood there, quiet and shaking like a frightened animal and it broke me. I raised my hand to touch him and he flinched away harshly “Tommy Joe, it’s me…. It’s Adam, you’re safe now”   
He didn’t respond just stood there as if he thought by doing so he could somehow hide from the world. I turned to Sauli who looked sorry for the whole situation, as if it personally weighed heavy on his conscience.

“So they were keeping him captive?” I asked him slowly trying to build the images in my mind like a jigsaw puzzle.

Sauli nodded solemnly “They don’t know I’ve taken him, but they’ll know SOMEONE freed him Adam. He was chained so he couldn’t have possibly gotten free without outside help” 

“You’ve done a great thing Sauli, thank you I know what this will cost you but I’ll make sure to keep you safe.” I promised feeling a surge of love for the smaller angel.

“I’ll only need protecting if they find out it was me” he joked “I have nothing tying me to the scene, but there’s ways of finding out” he looked seriously then as if he didn’t want to think about it.  
I was thankful that he had been careful enough to get away with the even smaller boy undetected but tried not to think about the consequences of someone finding out what had really happened. I returned my attention to Tommy then “I think it’s time I looked after you now” I said softly as I began to steer him towards the living room by his thin shoulders.  
He just let me manoeuvre him wordlessly until he was seated on the couch. Sauli made his excuses hugged me and left, leaving us alone at last. I wasted no time going to the bathroom to run a hot bath for him, finding all the lotions and potions I could to soothe him,

This wasn’t my job by nature but I wanted so badly to make him feel safe and clean that I was willing to do anything to accomplish that.  
Once the bath was ready I went to collect Tommy from the sofa where he hadn’t moved a muscle “I’ve ran you a bath, you need to clean up” I encouraged, gently tugging him to his feet by his small hands.  
Once more he allowed me to lead him blindly into the bathroom silently and proceeded to stare unseeingly at the mirrored surface of the water “Do you need me to help you?” I offered probably unhelpfully seeing as he shook his head vigorously ‘no’ his eyes going large and round as if the thought terrified him.

“Okay well, you get yourself settled and I’ll be back in about ten minutes okay?”

I didn’t wait for the response I knew would never come as I quickly left him to do as instructed. In the meantime I contacted some of my more trusted Archangels in an effort to find out more information on both Luther and Kelum. I knew they were both Archangel captains – so thought themselves above the law – but aside from that I knew nothing else about them and if I wanted to take them down, which right now I wanted to, badly…. I had to know my enemies something a lifetime of being an archangel had taught me.  
When I finally decided to check back in on Tommy Joe a strange sight greeted me; there he was, sat in the bathtub fully clothed. I raised an eyebrow “I think one of us is doing this wrong, and I think it’s you” 

He smiled in spite of himself then showing a tiny trace of his half human side before it was gone again. “I understand you being uncomfortable being so exposed in front of a man, but I did put enough bubbles in to keep everything modest” I tried to reason.

“No. that’s not it” he croaked taking me by surprise “Oh okay, well shall I leave and we can try this again?” 

“Can you just turn around?” he offered weakly. So I did as he suggested wondering whilst my back was to him why he had a problem if he said it wasn’t because I was a man. Maybe he just didn’t like me I sighed as I heard wet clothes hit the tiled floor, followed by a lot of splashing.

“Are you okay?” I asked half turning

“I’m fine” he said quietly this time when I turned around he was naked but submerged to his chin, making him look like some bizarre floating head.

Okay, now you’re being ridiculous I thought but decided to let it go “let me rinse your hair, goodness knows what’s in it” I grabbed a makeshift jug I usually used to rinse my dog off when he had a bath, filled it with water and gently tipping his head back I began to rinse.  
The bathroom was silent for a long while as I continued to work on the mess that was his once beautiful blonde hair trying as best I could not to throw water everywhere or worse, drown him seeing as this wasn’t the easiest position to be in when washing someone’s hair.  
I was just about to start trying to detangle the matted mess when his small voice reverberated off the tiled walls “Egg, piss, spit and coffee” his voice was tired and sagged under something which sounded like shame.

“What?” I asked confused 

“You said you didn’t know what was in my hair, I think that’s most of the list of ingredients…. The ones I can remember anyway” 

I felt the anger surge inside me like a savage caged beast “They peed on you?” I ground out through gritted teeth.

“And threw scalding coffee on me, amongst other things” he whimpered as I brushed against his scalp and I suddenly realised he must have blisters there from being burnt with hot coffee.

“But why?” I asked softly trying to mask the utter rage that was bubbling up in my chest as I carefully washed around his sore skin.

“Because of what I am” he said it with such lack of emotion as if he had resigned himself to the fact that this was his lot in life and I hated it “But thank you for sending someone to find me, I thought I was going to die there” 

I had to get up then and move away from him, suddenly gripped with a powerful emotion I never normally had need of – hate – I wanted to go to them, beat them and humiliate them as much as they had this poor little creature.  
I was struggling to get my emotions back under control when he began to speak again “Why did you send someone? Surely I am not worth your time. You are after all one of the highest ranking Archangels” 

“There’s something different about you, I guess you just intrigue me” I answered honestly “I don’t believe myself above anyone” I added quietly finally turning to watch him as he weighed my words carefully.   
“They will face justice for what they have done, I can assure you of that” he snorted a sceptical look darkening those delicate features “No they won’t Adam, angels have never concerned themselves with the treatment of the dirty little half-breeds they call Nephilim… you and to a degree Sauli are the only exceptions and I am sure the Seraphim’s will not look too kindly on you going against their ideals” 

I wanted to shout at him, to tell him that he was wrong and that our kind was not like that. We were not monsters who preyed on defenceless creatures nor sought power to dominate and terrorize, but deep down inside my heart I knew he was right.  
What was one less Nephilim going to matter? One less guilty little secret disposed of and I hated it with every fibre of my being. How had the most divine creatures lowered themselves to this kind of behaviour? To be cruel for the sake of being cruel… had he done something? Had he started it? The questions buzzed around inside my brain like an angry swarm of locusts.

“So they just decided to torture you because you’re a Nephilim?” 

His jaw tightened reflexively his words coming out clipped and measured “it has a great deal to do with it” there was something in the way he looked then, like there was more to the story that he didn’t wish to tell me.

“If this is going to work, if I am going to put myself and my friends on the line, you need to be honest and open with me.”

“I never asked you to do anything for me” he muttered sinking a little lower in the water as if trying to hide again.

“And yet I did!” I hadn’t realised that I had raised my voice at first, only registering it when he flinched his eyes going as wide as saucers once more. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to understand all this” I said gaining control of myself once more as I came to sit on the edge of the tub.

He eyed me warily before deciding I was safe again “I’m sorry too, I am not use to trusting your kind Adam. They’ve never done anything decent for me so it takes me a while to trust people” he paused sucking in a deep breath as I waited patiently.  
“They caught me with someone…. With a man” he exhaled the breath he’d been holding “and we all know how their precious god feels about that. So they decided to beat the ‘homo’ out of me” he repeated the last part as if mimicking their words to him.

My heart started to thump wildly against my chest, my mouth going dry as a tingle started to awaken my own secret yearnings and my mind drifted to the thought of those beautiful lips soft and wet against another mans.  
“So that’s why I wasn’t uncomfortable being around you because you were a man” he could see my inner mind working, though he thought it was for other reasons as he added “Of course if that now makes you uncomfortable, because I know Angels opinions on sexuality. I understand, I’ll leave and try to find my mother again” 

My head snapped up then as the thoughts bouncing around my skull silenced themselves “No, I am not uncomfortable. I am not like other Angels….” I thought best not to elaborate for fear of taking advantage in his vulnerable state “But why do you feel the need to sit in a bathtub with your clothes on? Did they…. Touch you….” I trailed off feeling a spasm of hate again.

“No” he shook his head still looking wary before he dropped his gaze to the now cooling water “If I tell you… show you. You can’t tell anyone, I am trusting you Adam because if you do they will kill me” he looked deadly serious and I could tell he was scared as all his earlier stubbornness ebbed away.

“Okay” I breathed trying to reassure him as best I could. It took him a couple moments for him to steady himself before he started to rise from his position in the bathtub.  
I tried not to stare at his marble white skin as he revealed himself to me inch by inch. The prominent collarbones, his slender toned chest and stomach leading down to the area I was trying desperately not to focus on as my own traitorous body awakened to the sight before me.  
I was just about to tell him that I saw no problem when he delicately spun around as graceful as an ice skater leaving his back to me and that’s when I saw them. From his shoulder blades hung two long beautiful silver wings which shimmered like moonlight upon snow, they were thick and soft and had obviously been well cared for in his short life.

“Oh” I said dumbly as I let the beautiful sight of him steal the breath from my lungs, it didn’t help matters when he glanced nervously over his shoulder with those deep chocolate eyes as if he was gauging my reaction.  
My eyes were currently transfixed on the delicious curve of his petite backside when he spoke again softly this time as if he didn’t want to interrupt “I’ve had to hide them ever since I got here, they ache sometimes when I have to keep them bound against my back for days at a time” he stretched them then flexing them in such a way they cast prisms of light over the white walls of the bathroom.

I didn’t even notice when he grabbed one of the white fluffy towels I had hanging on a nearby rail, wrapped it securely round his waist and exited the tub coming to stand a foot away from me “I bet you wish you’d never gotten involved now” I snapped out of my reverie.  
“I just, I’ve never seen wings that colour and on a Nephilim. Why wouldn’t they want you to have them, they’re beautiful” I rambled 

He shrugged “They think they are a divine right of pure-blooded angels. They will kill me if they find out I have wings” 

“Now I know why you were so good at mending mine” I mused thoughtfully and he smiled 

“Yes, I love my wings I like to take care of them. Keep them healthy. It breaks my heart to have to bind them, not to feel the wind beneath them as I soar”

“I can understand that” I said slowly still not taking my eyes off his perfect body as my heart ached to pull his warmth against my own. “You smell like moonlight, like a cold fall night and crisp leaves” 

He looked shy then as he pushed his damp golden fringe out of his eyes “I don’t know what moonlight smells of, but my mom use to say I smelt like earth and leaves that’s how she knew I wasn’t human” 

I blushed profusely as I realised just how stupid I must sound to him in that moment, because honestly who tells someone what they smell like? God Adam you sound like a damn predator right now I scolded myself.  
He spared me any further embarrassment as he continued to pour his life story out like an invisible stopper had been released and he was now free to speak his mind “Back home, there was this guy Lucas I liked at school. The bullies found us one afternoon skipping classes so we could fool around in the projection room above the gym. They were like your friends, they didn’t like homosexuals”

“They are NOT my friends” I interrupted coolly, he just nodded curtly and cleared his throat.

“The biggest bully Austin got hold of Lucas. Started beating him and I lost my temper. I ran at Austin and swept him up like a hurricane took him to the top of the gym and dropped him. He broke both his legs and I revealed what I really was…. It was game over after that” he looked sad as if the memory pained him 

“The worse thing was, Lucas looked at me like I was a monster afterwards. He wanted nothing to do with me” 

“His loss” I said before adding “Do you always get caught kissing boys?” I was trying to carry the comment off as a playful jibe but it ended up sounding rough and lustful.

He took a couple steps closer closing the gap between us as I fully registered for the first time the obvious height difference “Not always” he smirked playfully dropping his eyes as if to rake over my own body then.  
He raised them again without a word to look me in the eyes, no trace of embarrassment there even though I am sure he could tell I was nursing a growing erection “Have you got any clothes I could borrow? I’d like to sleep for a bit if that’s okay?”   
My body unfroze then and I began to walk back into my bedroom to fetch a t-shirt and some Pyjama pants. Returning to where he was still stood in the centre of the bathroom, though I had noticed he had drained the tub in my absence I thrust the clothing into his arms and mumbled a rushed “They’re probably going to be too big for you, but it’s the best I can do. Sorry.”

“They’re fine, thank you Adam. For being so kind” his voice was like honey as he flashed one of those adorable smiles at me making my heart thump even harder in my chest.  
“You’re welcome; the spare room is down the corridor second door on the left. If you need anything you know where I am” 

He nodded “Goodnight Adam” before he turned and walked out the room leaving me quite alone and in need of a cold shower.


	3. Trust is a delicate thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam starts to wonder who he can trust, and we find our more about little Tommy Joe.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words of support, kudos and bookmarking. I have been furiously writing this story every opportunity I have between everyday life stuff, so I am glad you're all enjoying it :) - now on with the show!

_"There he goes My baby walks so slow_

_Sexual tic-tac-toe Yeah,_

_I know we both know It isn't time, no_

_But could you be m-mine?"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You were thinking of him again weren’t you?” Sauli asked amusement seeping into the words as he slumped back against the pillows sweaty and panting with a sly smile on his face.

 

“I’m glad you find it amusing” I matched his pose rolling onto my back and closed my eyes.

 

“It’s okay, I was thinking about Andre from accounting” he chuckled sweetly as if this was a normal conversation round a dinner table. “I don’t know why you don’t just fuck him already”

 

I sighed heavily “I think it’s frowned upon to fuck your house guests”

 

“But not your ex-boyfriend apparently…” he trailed off, and even though his tone was light and playful I still felt a pang of guilt at the words. No matter how long I’d known Sauli I still wasn’t use to his abrupt Finnish nature and his abundance of candor with all subjects no matter how awkward they were.

We had been doing this ever since we had split three years prior, even though I knew it was destructive behavior we just couldn’t help ourselves. There was a part of me that would always love Sauli, he was my first love and in many ways it was him who taught me how to love others, and how to allow myself to be loved in return.

I wished that I could be what he needed, but I couldn’t and we had both faced that fact and dealt with it in as mature a way as we were able to. But there weren’t many angels like us and I had resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to find another life partner anytime soon.

 

After all it wasn’t like you could just come out to other angels, creatures who upheld the holy law of god and believed whole heartedly that man should not lie with man and that humans were corrupted for indulging in sins of the flesh with their own sex.

No, I would have been stripped of my wings, cast out and unleashed pure shame upon my family and their legacy. So we stayed in the shadows as it were and I dodged all the questions people would ask about when I was going to settle down with a nice woman and get married.

 

It had been a couple weeks since Sauli had brought Tommy Joe to me and I’d cleaned him up and gotten him back on his feet. He had agreed to stay at my penthouse in secret and lay low whilst we tried to figure out what Luther and Kelum were up to, but I knew he grew restless with each passing day and it wouldn’t be long until he most likely did something stupid.

I sighed folding my hands behind my head “He’s getting restless, I don’t know how much longer he will remain where he is due to his impatience”

“What is it you’re trying to achieve Adam?” Sauli asked flatly not trying to sugarcoat his words

 

“I want to know if there’s any weight to the claims of the Nephilim and their treatment”

 

“But why? What will that prove? You can’t change hundreds of years of mistreatment even if that has been going on. You are only one Angel Adam”

 

When I failed to answer he continued “Do you want to know what I think?” I really wasn’t interested in his theories, probably because I knew deep down inside that whatever his thoughts on the subject were he was probably right as he was a very astute man.

“I think you’re lonely Adam. I think it’s been a very long time since anyone has filled you with any sense of feeling, that you’re clinging onto the first pretty boy who needs saving. You’re an Archangel and I get your need to avenge those you have taken a shine to, but you need to stop treating him like a pet… he has his life and you have yours”

 

I rolled my eyes frustrated “So you think he belongs back in his place then? Like he deserved the treatment he received at their hands? What if it were you Sauli, what if they found out you liked laying with men and they tied you up beat you starved you and threw shit all over you? Would you want me to save you then?” I knew my words were cutting but they were the truth.

 

He studied my face for a long time as if he were trying to process everything or maybe he could see deeper inside me then I ever gave him credit for either way a long time seemed to pass before he finally spoke again his words softer than before but still measured.

 

“Everyone has their place Adam. And whilst I don’t agree with the treatment he received – even if he were careless – you can’t put yourself at risk for someone, a Nephilim no less that you’ve just met”

 

I got up and began to get dressed, sensing an argument coming on I’d rather just leave now before either one of us said something we would later regret.

He sat upright looking startled as if he hadn’t anticipated my next move correctly “I am sorry Adam, but you know I have always been honest with you. You don’t have to leave” he implored.

But I had already gotten myself together by then and was heading out of his bedroom and towards the front door “I just don’t want to have this conversation with you Sauli. I respect you enough to leave you with your own opinion and our friendship intact”

“NO! You just like to walk away when you can’t get your own way! Just like every time we disagreed on something when we were together. You couldn’t see it then and you still can’t see it now, how much I care about you…”

 

“I know how much you care about me, I care for you too but we are just different people with different outlooks. Why do you always have to escalate things when I am trying to be peaceable and walk away!” I grabbed the door handle just as he reached me

 

He put his hand on the door to stop me from opening it “I don’t want us to argue, please just stop for a second and think about what I said” he pleaded making me finally turn to gaze at him

 

“Just trust that I know what I am doing, please?”

 

He looked defeated, stepping away so I could leave “I hope you’re right, I can’t keep picking up the pieces all the time.”

 

It wasn’t long before I was stepping through my own front door again, dumping my keys into the bowl next to the door before entering the living room.

Everything seemed in order as I went around flicking lamps on to bring some much needed light into the familiar space. I crossed into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water noticing that there was a few dirty plates and bowls in the sink waiting to be washed, it felt strangely nice to have someone around and even though my OCD would usually be going crazy it felt more like a home than just a house with a little bit of ‘human mess.’

I was just contemplating whether or not to wash said items when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Assuming it was just Sauli – as he never knew when to let an argument die – I fished it out lazily with a sigh.

 

Much to my surprise it wasn’t Sauli at all. It was another one of my trusted friends Terrance who had been tasked with finding out as much information about Luther and Kelum as possible, and it seemed like after a considerable length of time he was ready to deliver on that front.

 

**_‘Adam_ **

****

**_I’ve found out some very interesting things. Kelum was court-martialed not long ago for gross misconduct when dealing with a human conflict. Intel is sketchy but guess who got the charges dropped? If you guessed Luther you’d be right!_ **

**_Also there have been 4 disappearances of Nephilim in the last year alone, all were marked as runaways and not really investigated. Nothing unusual there… But guess who their last work detail was? Luther! Seems a little strange that all 4 disappeared after servicing his home/car or himself after battle. I have a bad feeling about it all but my attempts to talk to the Nephilim about it have been futile. They’re all too scared to talk or distrust angels in general, is there any way you can get Tommy Joe to talk to them? Maybe they will trust their own more? I’ll keep pushing for more information in the meantime and get back to you as soon as I can but I am trying to avoid detection._ **

**_I also logged Tommy Joe as a runaway and closed the investigation with the board, so that should buy him some more time. But he needs to be careful! I don’t know who we can trust at the moment so stay safe both of you. I’m keeping an eye on Sauli, hate to say it but his need to follow rules may pressure him into letting slip some information. I hope I am wrong but you never know…._ **

****

**_Terrance xx’_ **

 

I read the whole message through three times as my mind worked over the details. It was a longer than usual text message but it was all relevant details, and to be honest I wondered why I hadn’t figured some of it out before now.

I mean for Luther to have the means of restraining someone at short notice after accidentally bumping into them in a hallway, would clearly show that it wasn’t the first time he had indulged in such behavior.

 

It was also quite clear why Kelum has jumped to help him carry out this level of cruelty on another living being. Because Luther had gotten him acquitted of all charges at his tribunal which meant that Kelum was more than likely indebted to him, well that and they we friends in general anyway but it would tighten Luther’s grip in the weaker man.

We need to know what the gross misconduct was linked to in order to figure more out about Kelum as a person, but until Terrance could find that out we were still in the dark as to his full involvement.

I was very grateful to Terrance for being such a brilliant sleuth, he was after all one of the angels who worked in the archive department and as such had great resources at his fingertips and the tenacity and intellect to find out what he needed without being glaringly obvious.

 

I was however praying he was wrong about Sauli, and until around an hour ago I would have jumped to his defense straight away but after what he had said “Everyone has their place Adam.” And “Don’t put yourself at risk for someone – a Nephilim no less – that you’ve just met” I began to wonder if he wasn’t on the same side as both Luther and Kelum.

And then of course there was the fact that he had found Tommy Joe in Luther’s apartment without an explanation of why he was there in the first place which set my mind ablaze.

I was just about to text Terrance back asking him to find out if Sauli had any dealings with the other two on a daily basis when I heard the soft swooping of wings folding away behind me which caused me to jump.

 

I swung round sharply almost dropping my phone in the process as I came face to face with those deep brown eyes, I had almost forgotten were here.

He was stood bathed in the soft lamplight of the kitchen with no shirt on and a pair of my old sweatpants barely clinging onto his slender hips, his beautiful pale skin looked almost luminous and his silver wings which were now tucked away behind his back cast prisms of silver light on the fridge behind him.

 

He tilted his head to one side almost like a confused puppy “Did I startle you?”

 

I tucked my phone away quickly whilst also trying not to focus too much on my far too alluring new housemate “I was in deep thought, I didn’t hear you come in” I fixed my eyes on his face “we need to buy you some actual clothes, mine are all too big for you”      

 

He shrugged easily as if it didn’t bother him before going to the fridge for a bottle of water as I covertly studied his physique. “Can I ask you a few questions about what you went through?” I asked gently not knowing exactly how to phrase it.

He turned back to me bottle in hand “Sure, I guess we never really talked about it huh?”

 

I leant against the counter and began “how long did they keep you for, can you remember?”

 

“Around a week I think. It was hard to tell”

 

“Did they say anything to you, threaten you?” I watched him carefully

 

“Not anything of worth. They called me a filthy half-breed like I haven’t heard that one before, a faggot…. Told me I was going to die there….” He listed as if it was a grocery list and nothing more

 

“And what about Sauli, how did he find you?”

 

He looked confused then as he finished a mouthful of water “The little blonde guy? I don’t really know, I hadn’t eaten or drank anything in a while and I kept passing out. When I woke up he was there, at first I thought they’d brought someone else in to beat me like they were passing me around their friends but then he said he was your friend and he was going to help me”

 

“So you don’t know why he was there?” I pressed

 

“We didn’t discuss it, I was just focusing on trying to stay conscious and walk. Why, is he not your friend?” he asked slowly

 

I took a deep breath not entirely sure how to answer the question so I evaded it “I’m just trying to figure things out”

 

Silence fell between us momentarily as I tried to digest everything I’d found out today, even though I was no closer to a solution. I was hoping that Tommy Joe would put my mind at rest by telling me that he’d shouted out for help and Sauli had been passing by and heard him, broken in and saved him because the alternative was far worse.

 

I must have been staring into space because he began to speak again “So how long have you two been friends?”

 

“A while” I shrugged trying to sound casual “Why?”

 

He stared at me evenly for a second “He’s pretty, I just thought the way you hugged him before he left….”

 

My throat went dry then, my mind reeling as I tried to think of what to say next “we’re very close…. You think he’s pretty?” I felt a little jealousy prickle in my stomach.

 

“He’s not my type, but I can appreciate him being attractive” he hopped up on the counter then

 

“Oh? What is your type?” I tried to sound casual but my body was waking up again like it always did when he was around. The arousal curling low in my groin as blood thrummed in my veins.

 

He sighed wistfully like a teenage girl divulging secrets “Looks wise? I like tall guys, it makes you feel protected I guess. I don’t care about hair colour…. But he has to have kind eyes. I favor light coloured eyes, but I think that’s because I see mine all the time in the mirror so I like something different. Plump lips, nice smile, broad toned body….”

Both my mind and body screamed out in silent joy as I mentally ticked the boxes of my own appearance against his list of criteria.

I wasn’t entirely sure if he was trying to be obvious and I was simply missing it or if it was just one whole big coincidence, but either way it made me happy to think that he might not be completely repulsed by me.

And then of course my mind began to drift in another direction, as I imagined his petite body pinned beneath my own. Those soft pink lips, emitting moans of pleasure as I worshiped his body on every surface in this damn house.

What would he taste like? Would his skin smell different? His scent changing as his skin heated from the contact of another person. And then there was that beautiful face to contend with, what would he look like in the deepest throws of his own release. Like an angel falling from heaven or a man being exalted?

 

“I know it probably grosses you out right?” his voice drifted back to me bringing me back to earth with a bump, as I suddenly realized I’d been staring at him weirdly for an awkward length of time.

 

“huh? Oh no sorry I’m not grossed out. I’m just thinking, and anyway like I keep telling you I am not like other angels” I leant easily against the opposite counter trying to give off an air of nonchalance.

 

“Oh? How’s that?” his tone was cocky and laced with intrigue

 

Feeling a sudden surge of confidence I decided to be honest, I mean after all he had more to lose than me when you really thought about it. We were both fugitives in one form or another.    

 

“Because I believe that love is love, no matter who or what gender the person is. People should be free to love who they want”

 

He looked surprised “I bet you don’t tell other people that”

 

I shook my head “we both have our burdens”

 

“So, you’re like bi-sexual?” he swung his legs back and forth like a teenager sat in a principal’s office    

 

“Not exactly” I could suddenly feel the familiar panic begin to flood my system as I realized I was about to reveal my deepest darkest secret to someone I didn’t really know. And I began to think I’d made a terrible mistake.

 

He jumped off the counter then as if in triumph, his eyes wide and shining with something close to mischief, though I couldn’t be sure.

 

“So Sauli is your boyfriend!” he paused as I watched another thought cloud his eyes “Or are you straight but you dabble, you know like…. What’s that word…. Hetroflexual!?”

 

I laughed loudly then taking him by surprise as he blinked confused at my outburst “Neither… well… Sauli _was_ my boyfriend, but it ended years ago….”

 

“But you two still….” I opened my mouth to protest but he interrupted me before I could get a word out “Don’t deny it Adam I can tell, and anyway I’m sure lies make baby Jesus cry” he finished in a singsong voice.

 

I blushed profusely at the annoyingly accurate guess “Well, like you said Angels think very differently about sexuality… we only really have each other” I finished sadly

 

“Hey” he said crossing quickly to where I was stood, placing his fingers under my chin to raise my eyes to look at him “I didn’t say it was a bad thing. Just trying to ‘figure things out’ as you always say. I’m jealous you have someone if I am honest”

 

“You are?” 

 

“Sure! I’ve always wanted to find someone, a companion you know? You’re lucky to have each other” he smiled reassuringly and my heart sank as it dawned on me that he wasn’t jealous because he wanted me. He was jealous because he was single and worse still he thought I was still in a casual relationship with my ex.

 

He released me from his grip as he stretched and yawned “Anyway I am going to bed, I’m quite tired. It was nice having an actual conversation with someone” he laughed awkwardly as my mind floundered for a response “see you tomorrow Adam” he said softly leaving me alone in the kitchen, wondering what the hell had just happened.


	4. Worshiping you is the easiest thing to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get pretty hot and heavy.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! so as I am currently ahead of schedule with chapters (which in itself is a miracle) and I am off out tonight with friends for my 'Christmas Do' I am in a pretty super mood! so I thought I'd treat you all to another chapter.
> 
> *WARNING* This is a sexually explicit chapter for anyone who doesn't like such things. also I really do suck at writing sex scenes so apologies in advance! but I tried! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. please continue with the bookmarking/Commenting and Kudos where you see fit, as it makes me super happy! :)

_"We can escape to a higher plane_   
_In Nirvana stay_   
_Where the dreamers lay_   
_I'll lay you down, lay you down_   
_Safe on a higher plane_   
_In Nirvana stay_   
_Where the dreamers lay_   
_I'll lay you down, lay you down...."_

 

 

 

 

In the days that followed, I had asked Tommy, as Terrance had suggested if any of his Nephilim friends could help with finding out more information about the four missing Nephilim.

As it turned out he didn’t really have many friends, and seeing as he was supposed to be lying low he wasn’t exactly sure who he could trust. I had persevered with him making sure he understood the importance of finding out any information we could. I also thought it a good idea to remind him of all the trouble myself and my friends were going through to help him, and the risks we were taking which luckily seemed to spur him into action.

 

He’d managed to reconnect with a Nephilim by the name of Keisha who he’d befriended when he first started working here. She seemed reliable enough and after much coaxing has admitted that one of the missing girls she knew of, a girl named Cherry had indeed disappeared after cleaning Luther’s apartment.

She had raised this point with her supervisor, only to be told that Cherry had never made it to Luther’s apartment to undertake her job, but Keisha knew different.

She even had a text from Cherry to prove it, but this had fallen on deaf ears and by the seems of things she had been quietly threatened into silence which is why she never mentioned it again.

 

She hadn’t known the others involved so she couldn’t comment, but she had told Tommy that she didn’t feel comfortable around Luther, like something about him didn’t sit right with her.

He had a cruel streak, everyone knew it, he was just too untouchable because of his status for anyone to bring him up on it. And when I had dug deeper by casually talking to the rest of his squad, who incidentally seemed to worship the ground Luther walked on, it transpired there had been many times when he had terrorized lesser angels with brutish pranks.

 

And it appeared his bad habits had been rubbing off on Kelum because I also found out, thanks largely to Terrance’s efforts, that his court-martial charges were for him using unreasonable force against a human. This resulted in one of the very beings we are sworn to protect being seriously injured.

It was also becoming increasingly clear that Luther has a lot of pull with the higher ups, because if he didn’t he wouldn’t have been able to get the charges dropped, which only makes him more dangerous.

 

My brain felt heavy with information overload as I entered my penthouse after a long day of physical and mental battles and I longed for a nice hot shower and some food, perhaps even some tequila to steady my mind.

I threw my keys down in the bowl next to the door shrugged my coat and kicked my shoes off before padding into my bedroom to throw the rest of my heavy gear off.

I was in the shower in no time at all letting the hot water soothe my aching muscles, the wide rainforest spray enveloping my body and cleansing me of all my problems, if only for a little while.

 

I would have ran a bath, lit some candles, watched a little TV and drank my tequila there but in all honesty I was exhausted and couldn’t trust myself not to fall asleep in the relaxing warmth and drown.

Not exactly the most warrior way to die, and let’s face it I’d have the misfortune of being reincarnated as a Dominion. And after having the displeasure of Solomon’s company on a daily basis I’d rather be incarnated as a dog, so I was grateful for the convenience of a shower.

That thought aside I finished washing, grabbed a pair of sweats without bothering with a top as my wings could probably do with airing out and headed to the kitchen for my drink.

 

I was just contemplating as I poured myself a fifth of tequila what I should order for dinner, when I realized I should probably ask Tommy Joe if he’d like me to order him anything.

I hadn’t seen him all day and I wasn’t entirely sure he was home, but he was one of those people who if nobody fed him, he wouldn’t bother to feed himself.

I downed the rest of my tequila before filling another glass ready for my return, I also filled my dogs bowl with food as again he couldn’t feed himself, and spent most of the time hiding away in a quiet corner and sleeping.         

When I really thought about it Tommy Joe and my dog pharaoh had a lot in common really, though I doubt the former liked his ears scratched, though the thought of it made me chuckle.

 

I decided I should probably go and find Tommy Joe, if he was indeed in he was probably hiding out in his bedroom with the beat up old six string I’d dug out of the closet to occupy him.

I’ve never used the thing since my brother brought it for me one year for my birthday, I have always loved music but I am better at singing then learning how to play instruments thanks to my attention span not being the greatest for technical tasks.

Singing came easily to me like breathing or fighting, and alongside my ability to be a great Archangel I was a fair singer, even if I never got the time these days to indulge in it.

 

I padded down the hallway to the spare room that had been Tommy Joe’s bedroom for the last couple months, stopping to knock at the door as I didn’t want to intrude on him.

When I received no reply I took a deep breath and decided to poke my head around the door to see if he was sleeping or if he was just simply not home yet, in which case I could get back to my tequila and probably order a nice dark green salad for dinner with grilled Halloumi.

 

When I poked my head round the door I could see that the room was only lit by the light of the silvery moon that pooled in through the large window at the other end. There was enough light to see that stood in the center of the room was a semi naked Tommy Joe, his back to me and his beautiful wings cascading down against his soft white skin.

The oversized sweatpants he’d borrowed and practically lived in these days were pushed down around his knees and it was only then that I realized he had a pair of headphones on and was making soft moaning sounds to himself.

 

I gulped as I realized the scene in front of me, my cock jumping to life as I surveyed him stood there in all his beautiful glory, lost in his own world.

I could just leave I breathed to myself, I should leave as I’ve invaded his privacy enough and yet something held me there.

I wanted to touch him, to touch myself, but would that scare him? My brain was overheated trying to figure out what to do, trying to leave before he spun around and found me staring at him like some pervert as he indulged in his own moment of freedom.

And then I was walking into the room, my body refusing to obey my mind as it proceeded to press my body to his. I could feel his wings soft and warm against my chest and stomach as my hand snaked around to rest on his throat, my other hand closing around his, around his hard cock.

 

I expected him to cry out, to flinch away and ask me what the hell I was doing, but he didn’t. he exhaled a shaky breath like a whisper as he relaxed back against me, his head lolling onto my right shoulder as I continued to stroke him.

I could feel my own erection pressing against his lower back, a product of our height difference, as he finally let go of himself to bring his hand up to fist in the back of my hair. “Adam….” He breathed my name softly a little whine of need behind it as I nipped his earlobe hungrily.

 

I slid my left hand from his throat to his nipples playing with each in turn as he writhed and whimpered against me. I dusted his shoulder in kisses and licks tasting the salty sheen of sweat he’d built up on his heated body, as well as the sweet flavor that was just him.

He writhed and panted just as his body went taught against me and I felt the familiar hot wetness of cum on my fist, his small chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to shake off his climax. I held him in place against me as I feared if I didn’t he’d fall off the edge of the world right now, his lust filled eyes raking over my face in the semi-darkness as I licked my hand clean, unashamed in front of him.

When I’d finished I turned him gently around to face me, carefully pushing his hair out of his eyes and finally removing the headphones to discard them on the floor as I melted into the depths of those chocolate brown eyes.

 

“Hey there” he whispered looking blissful and tired from his exertion

 

“Hey” I dropped my eyes to his soft pink lips, noticing he wet them lazily with his tongue as if extending an invite

 

“What are you thinking about?” the question caught me off guard and I replied almost on autopilot

 

“I want to worship you” my voice thick with lust as I rubbed his bottom lip with my thumb.

 

I drew my thumb away to rest against his cheek “We will worship each other” his voice was soothing and strong like he’d already made up his mind on the matter.

 

And not a moment later he was crashing his lips to mine like a man desperate for water in a barren dessert, those soft plump lips I had dreamt about since the day I first saw his face.

I steadied myself with one hand on the side of his neck and the other on his lower back as his eager body fit against mine perfectly, his tongue begged entrance to my mouth greedily as I allowed him to deepen the kiss.

He tasted just as I had expected, like moonlight and crisp autumn air and I was immediately intoxicated, as if he was my own personal brand of tequila.

 

I was so deep under his spell that I didn’t even notice that he’d relieved me of my sweatpants until his long thin fingers closed around my achingly hard errection, making me moan into his mouth at the electrifying contact.    

 

 

“Bed. Now” I ground out

 

He instinctively let go of me so I could pick him up and carry him to the bed with swift precision, I laid him down carefully like he was my most prize possession, covering his smaller frame with my own as my mouth went to his collarbone. I began to trail kisses from there down over the soft peaks of his hardening nipples as I licked the fragile skin there and tugged on them gently with my teeth.

His fingers grasped at the skin between my own shoulder blades as he repeatedly sucked in deep breaths, moans and whimpers tumbling from his kiss swollen lips as I began my decent lower on his unblemished heavenly body.

 

I made sure to drag my lips across every inch of flawless skin taking my time to worship him correctly as I had promised. Once I reached his inner thighs I buried my face into the soft crease of his leg, drawing a deep breath as I filled my lungs with that familiar scent. I planted a litany of kisses and nips all across both thighs as he wriggled and moaned loudly.

 

“Adam, Please” He begged his voice a strangled cry as he watched me helplessly.

 

Deciding to put him out of his temporary misery I reached up and pushed two fingers into his mouth slowly “Get them wet” his eyes flashed with acceptance as if I were challenging him, as I pushed them in and out of his hot mouth almost in a taunt of what I was going to do to him.

Whilst his mouth was occupied I busied myself with rubbing and gently squeezing his balls causing him to moan around my fingers, as his cock began to harden again.

I could feel my own searing ache in my neglected dick, so removing my fingers from his mouth I lifted his legs at the knee so his feet were flat against the crisp white bedsheets, laying him bare before me so beautiful and unapologetic.

 

He watched as I pushed one finger after the other inside his tight little hole, plunging them to the knuckle and leaving them to sit there as the band of muscles tightened against them.

Once he was ready I began to flex and scissor them working him open slowly his hips rocking, breath hitching as he tried to open himself faster on my fingers. The sight of him stealing my breath away and making me begin to stroke my own dick lazily as I watched, matching my rhythm with pumping my fingers in and out of him so we were in sync.    

 

I knew I needed his body right now, needed to be inside of him, and him all around me, bathed in that scent that drove my senses crazy. And so I removed my fingers only to replace it with the tip of my leaking cock, rubbing teasingly at his sensitive entrance.

He made a sound then, somewhere between a growl and a curse word as he tried to bare down impatiently, hips bucking frantically.

Taking the hint I pushed myself inside him, the heat of his body flooding through me as I bottomed out, his body arching against me to drive me deeper as he moaned my name low in his throat.

I lingered there waiting for his body to grow accustomed to my presence as I watched him, his eyes closed and head tilted back as he recited latin softly under his breath “Mon Coeur est a toi” – My heart is yours…..

 

I felt a sudden rush of love then as it thundered through my veins directly into my heart and it swelled as I vowed that I would always protect him and love him with every fiber of my being if he’d let me.

Steeling myself out of my deep reverie at last I moved in and out of him peacefully, steady as a heartbeat as we inhaled and exhaled in sync deepening our union and bringing us closer to our undoing.

 

He reached for me needing more skin contact, finally reaching my shoulders he managed to hoist himself up to wrap himself around me, bodies pressed hot skin to skin as his mouth found mine again in a chaste kiss.

“I wanna….. need….. feel heart beat” his words were broken and needy his hands finding my face as he struggled to hold onto what little composure he had left.

 

“Adam, Adam, Adam. My big strong angel” he chanted softly against my lips never opening his eyes

 

I wrapped my wings around him like I could cocoon him in my love forever, hips still moving in rhythm as I thrust straight against his prostate three final thrusts sending him over the edge, hot cum covering the skin between us both.

His eyes opened then in his euphoria as he watched me through post orgasm eyes “Come inside me, make me yours” he pleaded lips finding my throat sensually.

 

And that was all it took for me to let go as I lost myself in the heat of his body, his name slipping from my lips to hang in the air between us like a physical manifestation of every feeling I had for him.

My white hot seed filling him entirely like I was pouring a portion of my soul into him “You’re so beautiful” I mumbled when I finally returned to my body from the heavens as I leant my forehead against his.

 

“You’re so big, I feel so full” he countered

 

I went to move in case he was uncomfortable “No, Don’t! Please just stay like this with me” he sighed

 

I laughed and kissed his forehead tenderly “Okay”

 

“Why did you wrap your wings around me?” he asked quizzically

 

“That’s how us angels make love little one” I nuzzled my face into his messy hair and he giggled sweetly

 

We stayed like this for a little while just staring at each other, drinking in all the details of this moment in time before he began to yawn sleepily and I attempted to lay him down and slide out of him only to be told “But I’m not tired” an obvious lie.

 

“I intend on worshiping your body on every surface of this house, would you like that?”

 

“Yes” he breathed barely audible as he licked his dry lips in anticipation

 

“Good. But now it’s time for sleep”

 

“Tease” he grumbled as I climbed off the bed, smirking at his sultry pout

 

My foot kicked the long discarded headphones then on my way to get a drink and smiling I bent down and picked them up “what were you listening to anyway?” I inquired as the music had long since stopped.

 

He looked embarrassed then as his cheeks flushed pink in the pale moonlight “oh, I found some recordings in the closet. I didn’t go searching for them I swear” he looked guilty as a light flicked on inside my head and it became my turn to blush.

 

“Oh” I wasn’t mad, just awkward for the first time in a while

 

“Your voice is beautiful, Adam” I placed the headphones on the dresser with my back to him not sure how to respond, as for the first time in my life I felt self-conscious.

 

“Would you sing to me sometime?” he asked gingerly as if he were afraid I’d never want him again after this

 

I turned back to him and smiled “In time. But for now you need to rest and I need to eat. Do you want anything?” I offered

 

He shook his head no “Come back to me though, please?” his voice betraying his vulnerability and exposing that adorable human side again.

I smiled adoringly at him in reassurance “I won’t be long” and as I left the room to seek out something to eat and drink I wondered if he’d ever realize I could never leave him again now.   


	5. Know Thy Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam gets a very interesting call, something is about to go down.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all sticking around for this you guys! - keep them comments and Kudos coming ;) I love reading your feedback. again I am slightly ahead on chapters so as usual I am trying to post 2 chapters a week (This being the second one) but I only do that as long as I am 2 chapters ahead if that makes sense? otherwise I am a lazy writer who will stop writing and the story will die, which is not what I want.
> 
> Now, I put some humor in this chapter because I don't want things getting TOO dark (not yet anyway) so I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Let's see what's beginning to unfold shall we?

_Oh, you think really such a slick rick runner_   
_Keep on talking you'll be a goner, yeah_

_So you think you're quite a fighter, a fighter_   
_Mmm, but you looking more like a crier, crier_   
_Ooh, bet you think you're really quite the stunner,_   
_But you're just like the rest so go ahead and take a number_

 

 

Tommy Joe was lying flat on his stomach on my bed, a pillow beneath his hips causing his back to slope and his perfectly peachy little ass to stick up in the air, it was very distracting.

I sat beside him propped up on the pillows as I filled in paperwork and he flicked through a guitar magazine casually. I’d wasted no time moving him into my room as I just couldn’t stand being apart from him, and by the seems of things he felt the same way.

 

I stole covert glances at him every now and again, raking in the sight of pale smooth skin and silver feathers as I resisted the urge to touch him every five seconds.

The boy was not shy at all when it came to being nude and had barely dressed since the night we made love. I know I shouldn’t complain as he was a thing of pure beauty and heaven knows it’s been a while since anyone other than Sauli wanted to be naked around me, but he was so distracting that it made it impossible to get anything done when he was around.

 

My mind wandered to Sauli, I’d not seen or heard from him since we had argued and it weighed heavy on me. We’d always had each other even after we’d split so to go for so long without talking it didn’t feel right.

I hoped he was alright, and that my suspicions about his intentions were wrong, but he had never behaved like this before and I couldn’t help but worry that he was changing from the person I’d once known and loved.

 

I was lost in my thoughts, not for the first time that day when I suddenly felt something soft caressing my face. It was the iridescent tip of Tommy Joe’s wing and when I looked around he dropped it back to its resting position on his back, his deep chocolate eyes inquisitive.

 

“You look sad” the magazine lay discarded against the headboard

 

“Not sad…”

 

“Just thinking?” he raised an eyebrow finishing my sentence

 

I sighed “I’m becoming predictable huh?”

 

“No, you Angels just think too much” he mused stretching himself almost feline, whilst making sure his ass protruded upwards slightly

 

I rested the palm of my hand on the curve of his backside, squeezing it lightly “You make it entirely too difficult for me to think straight”

 

He smirked over his shoulder making me think he knew exactly the kind of affect he was having on me, so I retaliated by leaning forward to nip that sweet round butt cheek causing him to emit an adorable squeak.

I laughed at his look of indignation before placing a wet kiss on the red patch I’d left on his porcelain skin, causing him to relax once more sighing deeply, a little moan escaping his lips as the sound died.

 

Regaining his composure he began again “So what are you thinking about?”

 

“Sauli” I answered honestly “We had a fight last time I saw him, and we haven’t spoken since. I miss him”

 

He dropped his eyes to the mattress “You love him, don’t you” it wasn’t so much a question as a statement, he sounded almost disappointed.

 

“There are many ways to love, little one” and when he still refused to look at me I dragged his little body against mine, holding him tight to my chest as I dropped my face to his hair to breathe him in, his wings covering us both.

 

We were silent for a moment as we just lay there existing with one another, the world stopping as all I focused on was the warmth of his body and the way it fit against mine perfectly.

We hadn’t spoken in the days that had followed our union about what had happened, or what this meant. We had simply just fallen into something casual and easy between the nights where he cooked dinner for us, a talent I didn’t know he had, or the mornings we spent wrapped naked around each other before I had to go to work.

 

“He’s more worthy of you, you know” his voice small and distant

 

I squeezed him harder against me “it doesn’t matter what we are, but who we are. And I happen to like who you are”

 

He squirmed out of my grip, propping himself up on his elbows to look at me “he’s an angel, Adam. I am a half breed…. I never expected to be anything more than a casual encounter for you. Honestly I was surprised you wanted me at all”

 

I stared at him unwavering, weighing my words carefully “Please don’t call yourself that” I brushed my lips against his feeling his body shiver in response “You are beautiful, Tommy Joe. I’m falling for you in a way I haven’t for someone in a very long time. I know you don’t trust my kind, but believe me when I say that I want you like no other”

 

My hands traveled from his shoulders down past his soft wings, the curve of his spine over the swell of his backside to rest cupping his cheeks “didn’t I tell you I’d worship your body?” I began to grind my hips against him as I watched him bite his bottom lip, closing his eyes as if savoring the friction.   

 

“Mmmmhmmm” he moaned as he began to match my grinding with his own “On every surface in this house if I remember correctly? I think we still have a few left” he sounded breathless both our dicks achingly hard.

 

Things were just getting good when my phone started to vibrate loudly on the bedside cabinet, I wanted to ignore the damned thing but Tommy Joe halted his gyration telling me it could be important and I should answer it.

With a heavy sigh I picked it up not bothering to look at the screen before answering it, and getting ready in no uncertain terms to tell whoever it was that they’d interrupted a very good morning and that I was not amused at all by it.

 

“Oh good you’re about” came the familiar monotonous voice of my own personal nightmare, I mean dominion… or secretary

 

“it’s my day off Solomon” I huffed “What could possibly be that important that I now have to suffer you in my free time?”

 

Just as I was about to receive the answer I felt Tommy Joe slide down the length of my body, push my pajama pants down and unceremoniously suck my cock into his mouth.

My breath hitched harshly as I resisted the urge to moan his name, whilst simultaneously trying to listen to Solomon’s droning voice. The thought did cross my mind to freak him out by letting him know what was going on, as I am sure the poor stiff never got any action himself but I thought it would throw up too many questions so I tried to remain calm.

 

“You’ve been summoned, Adam”

 

“ _Suuuuuuummoned_?” he pressed his tongue to the underneath of my head and I coughed to try and cover the misshaped word, which made Tommy grin up at me mischief sparkling in his eyes as he slowly began to stroke my shaft

 

He swirled his tongue around my leaking tip “Yes. Luther from Alpha team wants to talk to all the captains and lieutenants of each division”

 

My heart began to pound then, though I wasn’t sure if it was due to Tommy’s stimulation or the fact that I’d finally come face to face with Luther, the man I wanted to destroy.

Looking down I noticed Tommy Joe was now trying to spit on the head of my cock, the long glob dangling perilously close to my slit as he gently rolled my balls between his hands “God no!” I groaned as it made contact and he began to rub it round my already slick head.

 

“I don’t think it’s a choice, Adam”

 

My cock twitched as he now blew cool breath on the wet mess of my tip, the sight alone nearly making me come “What did you do that for!?” I hissed, Tommy raising his eyebrows and fluttering his eyelashes in a fake ‘ _whatever do you mean?_ ’ kind of way.

 

“I didn’t! I get my commands from the seraphim like all other dominion. You are a captain of an Archangel division, Adam, sometimes you have to deal with things like **this** ” he actually sounded a little offended and uppity.

 

Tommy however was now happily bobbing away on my cock, making sure with each motion I was hitting the back of his throat “Yes, sorry I know it’s fine when does he want to meet?” I closed my eyes trying to block out the wonderful sensations rippling through my body right now.

 

“As soon as you are able, as far as I am aware” he sounded huffy still but I knew he’d get over it soon

 

I was aware of Tommy swallowing down around me, my mind reeling as I was almost at my wits end, though just before I could get there he stopped entirely and my eyes snapped open to see what he was doing.

 

‘ _Should I stop? Am I distracting you?_ ’ he mouthed the questions silently, looking very pleased with himself just as Solomon spoke again “I can inform Luther that you’ll be attending shortly if you’d like?”

 

“No you shouldn’t! I want to come!” I whined watching as Tommy Joe got a bout of the silent giggles, his petite frame vibrating as he tried to stifle them.

 

“Okay! By the heavens Adam! What is wrong with you today!?” he sounded impatient now

 

Tommy had resumed his task all giggles aside and was once more bringing me close to my ecstasy, that beautiful hot mouth swallowing my hard flesh “Nothing! I’m just….” I came right down his throat and he swallowed it down hungrily as if he didn’t want to waste a drop “ **OH GOD! FUCK! UGHHHH** ” I let the line go silent for a few seconds before breathless I finished lamely “I’m just not feeling well today….”  

 

“It’s nothing catching is it? Maybe we should reschedule” he sounded both dubious and disgusted in equal measure as I am sure he was imagining me on the toilet with a bad stomach or something.

 

“No, I am feeling better. I don’t think it’s catching and I’d rather sort it as soon as possible” I talked quickly as Tommy fetched a wet cloth to clean me up.

 

“Well… as long as you’re sure? Shall we say you’ll meet him in an hour?” he asked still sounding disturbed

 

“That’s fine, thank you Solomon” I replied Tommy having finished his clean up and returning the cloth to the bathroom.

 

I hung up the phone tossing it down on the bed beside me as I exhaled the awkward breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. “I’m falling for you too by the way” Tommy Joe’s voice drifted into the room from the bathroom doorway, as he leant casually against the frame.

 

 

An hour later I was sat in Luther’s office. It wasn’t a particularly nice space considering he was the captain of Alpha division and I wondered as I waited for the man himself to arrive, whether it was a case of the office being unsuitable for its purpose or if it had somehow taken on the persona of its inhabitant.

The walls were paneled in dark wood where golden filigree frames hung with disturbing paintings of lesser beings in situations of degradation, though they were masked by the addition of Angels looking benevolent and divine. There was only one small skylight that filtered down dusty beams of light from the outside world, books with dark leather bindings sat on high bookshelves, their titles shining in red lettering only adding to the dark and foreboding atmosphere.

 

Even the small female dominion that had shown me into the room in her boss’ absence had seemed very nervous as if she didn’t want to really be here and I wondered how far his cruelty reached.

Finally after a few skin crawling moments of being alone in the horrible office, with me reminding myself to take a hot cleansing shower later… hopefully with Tommy Joe, the illusive man entered the room.

He wasn’t exactly how I imagined him to be, he was tall most Angels were, but I’d wager around 6ft 5” still smaller than myself at 6ft 7” which even to my kind is classed as freakishly tall. But he seemed to be able to fill the room and make himself much larger than he appeared.

He had dark chestnut hair which he neatly slicked back so not a hair was out of place, his face was chiseled and rugged looking but his eyes were steel grey and cold like there was no emotion behind them and it made me uncomfortable.

 

He wore a light grey pinstriped suit that made him look more like a politician than a captain of a division his tan colored dress shoes making little sound on the hardwood floor as he approached me in a confident greeting.

 

“Adam” his voice was broad and commanding but there was an edge of something sinister about it

 

“Luther” I acknowledged as he shook my hand firmly

 

“I must say you’re not what I expected” he eyed me almost amused “I’ve heard a lot of great things about your leadership” he settled himself behind the large ash wood desk, folding his hands in front of him reminiscent of a principal

 

When he didn’t speak I began “I’ve heard a lot about you Luther” I kept my tone as even as possible though it was hard because his mere presence disgusted me.

 

“All good things I hope” there was something in his voice that sounded false as if he knew there were not enough good things about himself that could be told to others.

 

“So Adam, I wanted to talk to you about some problems we’ve been having over here in Alpha division. And I am wondering if you have been experiencing any problems down in Beta”

 

“What kind of problems?”

 

“Well, it seems that some of our soldiers have been getting idolized delusions of grandeur. They’ve simply become unmanageable and I find myself asking if there is anything we as captains have done to incur such behavior” his unctuous tone irritating me immediately

 

“None of my squad have become unmanageable Luther, though perhaps if you elaborate on what kind of delusions of grandeur you speak I could be of more help”

 

He smiled tightly as if this wasn’t the answer he was expecting “soldiers not carrying out their duties, or some consorting with mortals in an” he paused feigning concern “unhealthy way… then of course there is the matter of someone breaking into my home and taking something that belonged to me…” he trailed off.

 

“Consorting with mortals? Is it not our job to serve and protect mortals Luther”

 

“Of course Adam, but what I am referring to is unnatural” he stopped talking just as a pretty red headed Nephilim entered the room, her head bent with her eyes staring blankly at the floor as she moved with trepidation, the tray in her hand clinking the glasses as she trembled.

 

His cold eyes flicked to her and I registered the disgust that shone there as he watched her approach the desk, slide the tray onto the edge of the wooden surface and without raising her head asked him “Is there anything else I can assist you with, sir”

 

I could almost see him mulling her words over in his mind, the bones in his knuckles flexing beneath the taught tanned skin as he tried to restrain the savage beast inside himself. “No half-breed. I suggest you go back to staying silent and pretending you don’t exist” his smile was twisted and cruel as he reveled in her fear.

 

“Thank you” I said trying to fill the words with as much sincerity and kindness as I could before she turned and left silently.

 

He turned his attention back to me “You don’t have to be polite to them Adam, they are the filthy product of the consorting I was talking about” he made no effort this time to mask his displeasure

 

“They are living creatures, children of Angels” I told him coldly lifting my chin defiantly

 

A look flashed across his face, though it was so quick I was unable to read it as it disappeared to be replaced with that same oily grin I was beginning to detest “Oh Adam” he rose to his feet like a snake raising to strike “I admire your idealistic approach to the world, but they are disgusting mistakes. A moment of insanity, they are lucky to even serve us” he sat on the desk opposite me.

 

“But they are OUR mistakes Luther, the child should not be punished for the sins of the father”

 

He laughed though it was hollow “Ah, Ezekiel 18:20. That is a modern take on that part of the bible, but it does pertain to man and not Angels”

 

“And yet Angels sin as man does” I countered catching him off guard for a moment as he tried to regain composure.

 

“Of course” I changed the subject quickly “The matter of someone stealing from you is disturbing, was it something valuable?” I asked nonchalantly

 

“Only to me” he nodded courteously

 

“Are you sure you didn’t misplace it?”

 

“It was a large thing, kept under lock and key. So I know someone took it. I will however, do all I can to recover it.” he stared at me then as if silently conveying a higher meaning than the one we were discussing.

 

“But I digress. Adam, I need to know that all of my fellow captains are singing from the same hymn sheet as it were… can I count on you?”

 

I could feel the loathing bubbling up in my chest as his cold steel eyes bore into me, though I refused to back down. I didn’t like this sorry excuse for an angel and there was something deep inside me that told me he was dangerous, psychopathic and elitist which meant I had to be careful.  

 

I measured my words carefully “I will do all I can to uphold the law, and protect those who need it. I will keep a close eye for the behavior you have mentioned, and of course report anything of relevance” I smiled politely as he studied my face.

 

I was pleased with myself in the way I had worded my answer, because to his deluded mind he took from it that I would report to HIM when in actual fact I was planning on reporting his behavior to the higher ups, once I had more evidence of his sickening beliefs of course.

My stomach clenched as I thought of my sweet little Nephilim, his skin pale and smooth in the moonlight as he curled up on our bed. I could almost smell his earthy scent as images of those deep brown eyes swam before my own and I vowed that if Luther wanted a fight then I’d give him a fight.

“Excellent… well then Adam, I won’t take up anymore of your time” he gestured towards the door with his hand, indicating that it was my time to leave.

   

I rose to my feet, shook his hand cordially and left. Meeting the man first hand had allowed me to study him, map out his weaknesses and understand to a degree how he conducted himself, which I was adamant would help me in the long run.

I knew what I needed to do next I just had to put things into motion, and fast, as I wasn’t entirely sure how much Luther knew or at least suspected about his missing ‘thing.’ Had he gotten to Sauli? Was someone else involved? It had seemed almost threatening when he spoke of recovering that which was taken from him.

 

Though why would one little Nephilim being taken worry him? Especially as he didn’t much care for their kind, it was odd that he would be so vexed at the thought of a Nephilim going missing.

Unless of course he had a different agenda all together, I doubted it was anything pleasant but it still meant that there was something about Tommy Joe that had him worried, and I was determined to find out what.

 

 

 


	6. Dangerous games have dangerous ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam thought he was ahead of everything, but soon he'll find out that dangerous games lead to dangerous ends....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm sorry for the delay in this next chapter but what with the holidays and all I've not been able to write, due in part to having to work extra shifts at work and obviously all the eating drinking and being merry.
> 
> I am actually behind on chapters now so I don't have the next one written yet :/ I'm trying to rectify that so I can try and update as quickly as possible but you may have to be patient with me! anyway I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> The plot thickens and Adam looses control......

_"Outside the rain's fallin' down_   
_There's not a drop that hits me_   
_Scream at the sky but no sound_   
_Is leavin' my lips_   
_It's like I can't even feel_   
_After the way you touched me_   
_I'm not asleep but I'm not awake_   
_After the way you loved me"_

 

 

The months had flown past since my meeting with Luther and I had thrown myself into my work with doubling efforts, whilst still trying to maintain a loving relationship with Tommy Joe and keep an eye on Luther and Kelum’s escapades.

Tommy had settled into something close to a routine, though not being able to go out very often, and always under the cover of night had made him restless and often cranky but I had tried to pacify him with the thought of this all being over as soon as possible.

I had purchased some actual clothes for him, as his perfect nakedness had become somewhat distracting and as much as I would love to gaze upon his naked form till the end of my days it was inappropriate when friends stopped by to work on our efforts.

 

Terrance had been an absolute asset to me in those months as he was able to obtain a lot of the information we needed, whilst being convert. And he was good around Tommy as he treated him like an equal rather than a curiosity or something beneath him, I also knew I could trust him to keep our secret.

He had also given me the heads up several times when Luther had swung past my office unannounced, or so Luther thought, so I wouldn’t be caught off guard by his probing questions and obvious attempts to search my office.

 

We had also discovered the names of the four Nephilim who had gone missing after working for him, of course we already knew about Keisha’s friend Cherry, but to be able to look into the background of the others gave us an idea of a pattern.

There had been three women and one man who had disappeared. Cherry after cleaning his apartment, Ashley who had delivered his dry cleaning, Sacha whilst supposedly running errands and lastly Johnny after valeting his car.

All of them had been unassuming Nephilim who obeyed the rules and were quiet, they also had no known relatives which of course made them easy targets, and all of their work sheets had definitely been filled out by Luther before they disappeared.

 

It had also been Kelum’s brother Aoife who worked in the department for the ‘employment’ of Nephilim’s, personally I prefer the term ‘enslavement’, who had logged them all as runaways and closed the cases.

We all concluded that this was probably the reason Luther had helped Kelum with his charges, because all of these disappearances and closed investigations had happened after his own charges had been expunged, so it was more than likely a you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours sort of arrangement.

From what Terrance had told me of Kelum, he was very young and impressionable, and had started to take on certain behavior’s Luther himself displayed, which wasn’t a good thing as Kelum unlike his mentor wasn’t good at hiding them from others due to his lack of charisma.

He had already been questioned after he hit a female Nephilim in the face so hard he fractured her eye socket, I was the one who witnessed it and had put in an anonymous grievance. To the higher ups credit they had indeed investigated it and reprimanded him severely but it was only because the Nephilim were classed as their property, not because they were worried about the girl herself which irritated me.

 

Sauli, to my surprise had taken a job in Luther’s office which sent a wave of white hot fury through me when I discovered this and only made our distance grow.

He was now working as a negotiator for Alpha team and even wore the uniform with their sigil on it with pride which did nothing to heal my heart towards him. Terrance had reminded me that Sauli was a rule follower, so anything that meant he had a purpose and was deemed as good in the higher ups eyes was like heaven to him, it’s just who he is.

I had other worries though, after all he knew that Tommy Joe was here with me, he knew that I would never give him up so him working so close with Luther was like me having the sword of Damocles hanging above my head all day every day.    

 

My shoulders are broad but I was starting to sag under all the weight I was carrying on them lately, and if it wasn’t for fact that I got to come home and cuddle with my beautiful man each night I don’t know how I’d cope.

He had even taken to joking about it in the dark moments when I wasn’t feeling so great about all the stress and worry saying that he was sure I was probably cursing the day I met him. In those moments though I just pulled him closer in response and wrapped him in my wings whispering calming words in latin to him until sleep took him.

 

Lately though Luther had gone a step further, he had managed to befriend one of the members of the Seraphim council and now had some sort of sway with them. Of course the knock on effect of this meant that he could get motions passed within the council by whispering the right amount of poison in the right ears.

His latest motion was the decree that all captains should have a mate as our numbers were dwindling and they wanted more Archangel blood to rebuild our numbers. And as we were captain’s we should be leading by example as not many Angels were reproducing nowadays, I had of course laughed at the hypocrisy of it all seeing as he himself didn’t have a mate but Terrance had informed me that he was deadly serious and that anyone who was without a mate would be questioned as to why.

Again I saw this ploy for what it really was, an attempt to out those of us who preferred the company of men as that was a direct violation of the Ten Commandments handed down from god, another way for him to get to me because I could tell he was gunning for me.

Thankfully the prior warning had provided me with the much needed time to make some arrangements of my own. It was with much satisfaction that I watched Luther’s face flush with annoyance as he walked into my office one morning, supposedly unannounced, to find my close friend Brooke sat happily in my lap her face pressed suggestively against my neck as I filled out paperwork.

 

She had taken her new role seriously as she called me sweet pet names like ‘baby’ and ‘my sexy Addy bear’ which I must admit made me snigger though I covered it well with a cough.

Brooke had been my friend for a very long time, we had been nearly inseparable whilst growing up and I would trust her with my life. She knew who I was probably better than I knew myself, she had even tried in earnest to date me in our younger years which had lead to a very difficult conversation about my tastes and hers being too similar when it came to partners I believe I used the phrase “we have something in common you and I, we both like penis…”

 

Of course it had shocked her and she didn’t know what to do or how to respond and had, in actual fact, burst into tears and ran away from me for a couple weeks. But she had finally come around and reasoned that I was still the same ‘Addy bear’ she’d grown up with, and that she’d love and support me as best she could, then I cried.

It was fortuitous that she had just split up with her boyfriend a couple months before I called in my favor, otherwise I wouldn’t have known what to do. I certainly couldn’t have really found a female angel to have a pretend relationship with, because it would be cruel on my part to use someone for my own gain let alone disingenuous to myself and plain gut wrenching for Tommy Joe.

 

But at the minute at least we were surviving and that’s the best we could do under his new regime, that was until he went one step further…

I was headed home after a particularly hectic day in the office, instances of mortals summoning demons and the repercussions being more than they could handle which in turn created a backlog of demons who needed rounding up and returning to the ether.

Add to that a new wave of Nephilim being born down on earth, as now the higher ups had begun a system of tracking Angel’s activities on earth so they could now tell when they had sired a child with a mortal.

This of course meant that some of us Archangels had to go and register them, a lesser job than the title commands, but our resources are stretched so it’s whoever can get the job done quickly.

I’d also swung past Terrance’s archives office to go over some of the employment logs he’d managed to get hold of, as well as some of the case files of the missing Nephilim as I was keen to see if there were any similarities which may have connected their disappearances.

 

The case files yielded no results, they all seemed to be standard Nephilim with no registered father, or in one case a mother. So it wasn’t glaringly obvious as to why these four out of the thousands of Nephilim serving were picked, if indeed they were picked.

I thanked Terrance for his continued support and help, made arrangements to meet him in a few days at a location we knew was safe and left to return home to my beautiful man. I had just exited the elevator and turned the corner when I realized that something was happening right outside my penthouse.

There were scores of battle-gear clad Archangels milling around the corridor with their weapons unsheathed, looking very official as the door to my home stood open. I rushed past them pushing my way through as none of them objected to my presence, reaching the entryway quickly I ran straight for the living room where I could hear a commotion going on.

 

Upon entering my nightmare was confirmed, Tommy Joe was face down on the floor his arms tied tightly behind his back as a soldier stood above with his foot pressed hard into his back keeping him pinned.

I wanted to rush to him, to fight the much larger angel off him, sweep him up into my arms and run as fast as I could but then I realized we weren’t the only ones there. Sat in one of my armchairs just off to the side of the scene I was witnessing sat Luther, a wicked grin on his tanned face.

 

“Adam” he purred as he noticed me register his presence, half turning I stared defiantly into those cold steel eyes

 

“Luther, what is the meaning of this?” my tone was tight as my throat seemed to cave in on itself, choking down the bile that rose from my panicked stomach

 

“It seems, Adam, this little filthy half-breed has broken into your home. We were fortunate enough to apprehend him before he did any damage” his voice was slick and oily and it made my skin crawl

“There is no need for such force Luther” I countered trying desperately not to look at Tommy Joe even when he whined pitifully behind me

 

“Oh, Adam I can assure you there is. You see he is one of the Nephilim’s who abandoned his post and ran away, or so we thought. He’s incredibly dangerous” the mock concern was infuriating

 

“I see no danger from a boy much smaller than anyone here” I said coolly as the angel restraining the smaller man pressed his boot harder into Tommy Joe’s back causing him to yelp. “And I suggest, you remove your foot from his back before I remove it for you!” I growled snapping my head back to look at the soldier in question.

 

He looked at Luther who gave him an infinitesimal nod at my words and he removed his foot begrudgingly, I turned back to Luther feeling the rage prickling at the corners of my eyes and burning my throat.

 

Luther rose from where he was sitting coming to stand directly opposite me with his hands flinging his unbuttoned suit jacket behind him, resting on his hands on his hips “Oh that’s right, I forgot that you don’t think Nephilim should be punished for the sins of their fathers” he smiled nastily as if the thought disgusted him.

 

When I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply he continued “Of course, if this wasn’t the case, if instead this creature was a houseguest of yours… well that carries its own price doesn’t it?”

 

I gritted my teeth “What are you planning on doing with him?”

 

He laughed a hollow laugh then “well, I am sure the higher powers will have him executed for treason. He also is a godless creature, and prefers the company of men… so they’ll take that into consideration also” his grin was dark and laced with his wickedness.

 

I stood my ground as best I could as my heart started to crumble inside my chest “He will have to stand trial, before anything like that will take place”

 

“Yes, regrettably you are right. But until then I shall make sure he is detained” his tone was almost taunting as he gestured the Angel holding Tommy Joe to remove him      

     

I watched as the larger man roughly hauled my little Nephilim to his feet, punching him in the back sadistically he roared at him “Move scum, you don’t want to give me a reason to hurt you more” he was taking great pride in his task.

 

Tommy Joe paused long enough to turn those brown eyes to mine one final time as if he was saying a silent goodbye, and even though there was sadness there, there was also love.

As if he was thanking me for everything up until this point and I could barely breathe with the emotion of it all. I tried my best in those few moments to express all my love back to him along with the steely determination that told him I would keep fighting.

 

Once he had been marched from the room Luther came closer still so he was speaking directly into my ear, to stop anyone overhearing “Don’t worry Adam, I’ll take good care of him”

 

He tried to walk past me but I grabbed his upper arm with a vice like grip, holding him in place turning my face so it was a few inches from his own as I filled my words with as much venom as I could “Take care how you speak, Luther. Even the exalted need to be shown their place” 

 

He didn’t move just watched ruefully “Are you going to call your Seraphim Mommy on me, dear boy?”

 

I stared him down “I don’t need my mother to fight my battles. I will come for you, and when I do you will finally understand why I am an avenging angel”

 

He smirked at that “We shall see”

 

I let go of him and he straightened his suit jacket before striding from the room, closing my door as he left my house.

I wandered numbly into the kitchen to get a drink from my liquor cabinet as it was all I could think to do suddenly. I walked past the plate on the counter that had half eaten food on it with more in the pot on the stove, the bar stool had been knocked over and the cutlery had gone flying.

I assumed from the damage that Tommy had been eating when he was apprehended, he had probably been waiting for me to get home but had more than likely become too hungry as I was late.

 

A sob welled up inside my chest then as the gravity of the situation hit me like a freight train, I poured shot after shot of tequila sinking each one to steady myself as my heart broke inside me.

Finally giving into the despair I felt coursing through my entire body I sank down against the cabinets thumping down to the floor heavily as the tears spilt freely soaking my gear.

I couldn’t stand the thought of him being chained up again, beaten and maybe even worse, alone and crying out for me to help him. The thoughts drove me crazy as each vision of anguish swam before my eyes with such clarity I was sure they were real, like premonitions that I couldn’t prevent even if I tried.

 

I didn’t know how long I had sat there in the semi light of the kitchen lamps but suddenly I was aware of someone slumping down beside me. The dark shadow tugged me sideways into one of the fiercest hugs I had ever experienced and this only deepened the outpouring of sorrow I was enduring.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence the figure holding me finally spoke and I felt my whole body relax into the embrace.

 

“it’s okay, I’ve got you” I let the familiar warm voice of my friend Sutan wash over me like waves of sunlight. I rarely got to see him these days because he was a divine Seraphim and as a rule they never mixed with lower angels, it was rare for Seraphim’s to be friends with any angels below their station but Sutan like myself had always been different.

 

“I’m sorry” I sobbed “I should be stronger than this” my head rested against his thin chest

 

“No Adam, we should not close ourselves off from emotions. It is what teaches us to live” he continued to stroke my hair gently, not caring about differences in class.

 

“How did you know?”

 

“We may be divine, but we are not deaf. I am connected to all things in this world and the next, it is not hard to feel anguish and sorrow in those we care about” he said mystically

 

“So… you heard Luther’s plan?” I asked flatly looking up into his beautiful face, he sighed and pulled an exasperated expression.

 

“Typical Archangel, but yes if you must know I do sit in on the council and he has been pedaling his bile to those stupid enough to listen for months now”

 

“Typical Seraphim, trying to be otherworldly and mystical” I snorted through the tears now drying on my face as he rolled his eyes playfully

 

“So you and this Nephilim?” he quirked an eyebrow inquisitively

 

“Would you believe me if I told you I’m falling in love with him?” I asked with not much hope of his response

 

He looked as if he were thinking it over for a few seconds “I have seen many things in my long years, Adam.” He paused dramatically as I listened to his fluttering heart beat “I believe many things are possible, after all even Lucifer was an angel once”

 

I laughed drying my eyes on my sleeve “You should know, You’re old enough to remember when that happened” I teased trying to cheer myself up

 

“Less of the old” he reprimanded me gently “So what are you going to do?”

 

“Going to do?” I repeated slowly

 

“If you love this… man… like you say then surely you have a plan? And I’d hope it doesn’t consist of more tequila and crying because you’ve filled your quota”

 

“Can you help me?”

 

He sighed sadly “You know I can’t do that Adam, not that I wouldn’t like to. But it is forbidden for Seraphim to intervene in what are perceived to be ‘lesser’ matters”

 

I nodded knowing the rules “I know, I was just hoping as usual” I broke out of his embrace to sit back against the cabinets where it was cool and solid, tipping my head back so I could see the ceiling I sighed “I can’t bear the thought of what Luther is doing to him”

 

He stretched his long limbs out gracefully “It would be really handy if you had someone you knew who was within the judicial department, who could make sure that the rules were followed and your little Nephilim was detained somewhere secure with guards instead of Luther and his goons” he mused

 

A bolt of lightning struck me then as his words soaked into my addled brain “Neil!” I shouted my brother’s name as realization hit me “Sutan you’re a genius! If anyone knows the rules of detaining those accused of treason it’s him!”

“Funny that” he said airily “Always one for the rules your brother, though you will have to come clean as to your intentions Adam, are you ready for that?”

 

My heart sank again “But if I tell Neil the real reason for why I want to help him…” I trailed off sadly

 

“He is your brother Adam, you do him a disservice by thinking he will not love you through this”

 

“It’s forbidden….” I dropped my head

 

“And yet here I am, a Seraphim no less. You think my parents don’t know about me? I am far too flamboyant to be anything other than I am. And they have learned to accept it.”

 

“They tolerate it” I countered and he pouted “How’s mother?” I asked warily

 

“She’s well. Busy” he shrugged

 

“Is she listening to Luther?”

 

I didn’t know if I could handle the answer, but I so rarely spoke to my mother these days what with her being head of the Seraphim council that I needed to know for sure. She wasn’t a bad mother just busy all the time, she loved us even after our father had been killed in one of the holy wars but I think I reminded her of him too much so she had shied away from me since his passing.

I tried not to tell everyone who my mother was, through fear of them being nicer to me because of it, or simply letting me do whatever I wanted because of who she was. I had never liked being fussed over and I liked it a lot less when people handed you things on a silver platter according to birth right. I’d have much rather worked for everything that I had and so that’s what I had always done.

 

“Your mother is very wise” he smiled warmly which gave me hope that she hadn’t changed as much as I thought.

 

“Good. I’ll go and speak to Neil tomorrow, I just hope Tommy Joe can last the night”

 

“I am sure he is stronger than you think. I wish you all the love and light in the world, Adam” he said softly as he leant down to kiss my cheek tenderly, and with a soft swooping of wings he vanished into the night leaving me quite alone again, but this time with more hope then before.    


	7. Even Lucifer was an angel once....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam goes to Neil for help and a mysterious friend comes along.....

_"I know I have my flaws_   
_I pay the price but I'm grateful_   
_You're letting me be myself_   
_The good and the bad"_

 

 

_“Gone!?_ What do you mean GONE!!”

 

“I don’t know Adam, he’s just disappeared” a sigh of annoyance punctuating my younger brother’s words as he carried on with his business.

 

I stood in the middle of his large office as he paced around filing paperwork and just generally being Neil, whilst I was panicking as usual. I had gone straight to his office the day after Luther’s visit to talk to him as Sutan had suggested in the hopes he would help me.

He had of course asked a lot of questions, that I had managed to deflect and after a lot of me winging and begging he had finally agreed to bring Tommy to the judicial cells where he’d be more comfortable.

 

However when it had come to acquiring Tommy Joe from the arresting officer, Luther, he had simply denied that he had Tommy citing that he had actually slipped their capture and he was having his team search for him regularly.

I knew this was of course an outright lie, because if Tommy had somehow gotten free he would have made contact by now in one form or another. I couldn’t believe he would just disappear of his own volition without trying to contact me.

 

“It’s ridiculous! Neil he’s lying!” I practically shouted at him as he continued to flit around the office

 

“Yes, I heard you the first five thousand times, Adam” he shook his head in something close to disbelief

 

“Then what are you going to do about it! Arrest him!”

 

“For what?” he spun around to face me, throwing his hands in the air in defeat

 

“For… lying!” I finished lamely not really knowing what he could possibly be charged for, other than the fact he was indeed a lying bastard

 

Neil rubbed his temples “Lord give me strength. Have you at least spoken to Mother lately?”

 

Caught off guard I stiffened my shoulders “No…” I replied slowly

 

He threw his hands up for a second time that day “Oh, so I am the only one graced with your headache inducing presence. Marvelous”

 

I pouted in response “I wouldn’t be headache inducing if you were actually listening to me!”

 

“I am listening Adam, but I honestly don’t know what you expect me to do. If Luther says the half…” I shot a venomous look at him “The prisoner” he corrected quickly “has escaped then there is nothing I can do about it, even if he is lying like you say, how do I prove it? And all for a Nephilim who no one but you seems to care about”

 

“It is your job to uphold the correct law processes Neil, can’t you do an internal investigation? Find out what happened and have him court-martialed or something for negligence?”

 

He sighed finally coming to sit back in his chair behind the desk to survey me closely “I could maybe speak to Isaac and see if he can get a statement from him, I could pass it off as worry over a fugitive Nephilim. If I have it come through Isaac’s office it won’t look suspicious because he’s nothing to do with you” he concluded looking focused

 

“Yes Neil!” I felt the relief wash over me instantly and it must have been clear on my face because Neil added

 

“What do you owe this Nephilim, Adam? Why is he so important all of a sudden?” he never broke eye contact

 

I floundered for the right words, I even toyed with the idea of making up some elaborate story like he had saved me from drowning or something. Or maybe he was the love child of a dear friend and I owed this friend the safety of his son somehow.

But then I thought of Sutan’s words, I thought about how disingenuous these lies would be, not only to Tommy Joe who I loved but to myself and my heart, and even Neil. So I decided to do the right thing, I decided to be brave and do something I never thought I’d have the courage to do… I came clean.

 

“Because, I am in love with him Neil, like I’ve never been with anyone before” my voice was calm and steady, even though my heart was racing in my chest but the vulnerability was evident.

 

He didn’t say anything for a long while, he just sat and took in the sight of me before him like he was trying to work out a puzzle. I was afraid he was going to ask me to leave, or maybe he would refuse to help me because he wanted Tommy gone so that I wouldn’t be corrupted.

I looked down at the hands clasped in my lap and focused on the black nail varnish that was chipped, rather than having to sit there and watch my brother’s scrutiny.

 

“Don’t hang your head big brother. You don’t have to hide from me, we’ve always known that you were different, Adam” I looked up then to see him smiling at me peacefully “dad often said he thought your daedal spun the opposite way” he chuckled at the memory.

 

“Thanks dad” I laughed through a watery smile “I bet you think I am a heathen”

 

“It’s not my place to judge you, just love you” he said simply “But if men make you happy then I’d rather you were happy then going through life living a lie”

 

“But the bible” I shifted in my seat nervously

 

“The bible was written millions of years ago Adam, even the dictionary gets updated throughout the years. And no one follows all the rules, they’re more like archaic guidelines at best”

 

I felt the tears slowly sliding down my cheeks as all the weight I had been carrying lifted off my shoulders suddenly. I had been so scared of my family finding out and disowning me that I had suffered in silence, playing pretend and shuffling through life every day in a haze of unhappiness.

And suddenly he was wrapping his arms around me and holding me in a tight hug as I cried freely for the first time in front of my little brother. He was silent and just allowed me the moment to have all of my own and I silently thanked him for it.  

 

“It would probably be prudent to speak to Mother though” he said tentatively causing me to huff out a sigh

 

“What a great idea, lets tell my mother the Seraphim, head of the Seraphim council in fact. That her eldest son is as gay as they come and he’s in love with a being that angels despise! What could possibly go wrong!?”

 

He pulled out of the embrace so that I could see the full effect of him rolling his eyes in typical brother fashion “Always so dramatic. She may be our mother Adam, but she is as you pointed out head of the Seraphim council. So if Luther is up to no good as you say, she needs to know”

 

I knew he made a valid point, after all if anyone was going to take down Luther then it would be the council rather than a few well-meaning angels, but I really didn’t relish getting into this conversation with her.

Truth is I hadn’t really seen my mother in a good couple years, not because of anything either of us had done, we had simply just grown apart and continued with our own business.

Of course we checked in with one another on religious holidays and she always sent me a present for my birthday and I for hers, but that was the extent of our knowledge about each other’s lives.

 

All I could do was promise him that I would at least try, before leaving him to get on with whatever it is that they do within their department. I myself needed some quiet reflection time so I headed home with the intention of wrapping myself up in my bed, I hadn’t changed the sheets since Tommy was taken so they still smelt like him and it comforted me as well as helped me to think when I needed to.

I was halfway home when my phone started to vibrate in my pocket, I fished it out checking the screen to see Sauli’s name flash up. For a moment I stopped in my tracks wondering what I should do, whether or not I should answer it because I really wanted to talk to him right now but at the same time I was still mad at him.

 

Making a split decision I cancelled the call deciding it wasn’t worth my time, after all someone had told Luther about Tommy Joe being in my penthouse and he would be the likely source seeing as he was Luther’s new right hand man.

A new wave of anger crashed over me as I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to try and contact me when he must have known exactly what he’s done, and what it’s cost me. I was just about to shove my phone back into my pocket when it pinged again, at first I thought it was just an answerphone message or a text from him because he couldn’t get through to me but it wasn’t.

 

The sender had no name, just a number which meant it wasn’t a number I had in my phone, and it certainly wasn’t one I recognized. When I checked the message all it said was _**“Be careful who you trust, even Lucifer was an angel once….”**_

I stood and stared blankly at it for a while wondering who would be sending me a cryptic message? Was it Sauli playing games? With a slight hesitation I typed back “Who are you?” as it was all I could think to ask.

I waited a couple minutes until I could see the three little dots appear, indicating that whoever it was, was typing a message back though I was disappointed once more when all I received was **_“A friend”_** in response.

 

I tried to ring the number but whoever it was kept cancelling the call on me, this only added to my mounting frustrations for the day and I was thinking of a pretty sarcastic reply when another mysterious message popped up **_“Check the library, section 84 shelf 107 title 14. Tell NO ONE!”_** everything inside my brain screamed at me not to obey the order, but at the same time I needed to know why they wanted me to check there, like some sort of morbid curiosity.

 

I arrived an hour later at the archives library against my better judgement. It was quiet as a graveyard like usual even all the archivers were flitting about within its dusty realms taking no notice of my presence as I made my way to the section I was told.

The archives were dimly lit and stretched on for what I could only imagine were endless miles so it took a little time to find the correct place in the semi-light of the flickering lanterns, but somehow I managed.

Counting across the shelf I found title 14 after a little bit of dusting, pulling out a massive forest green suede bound book I took it to one of the rickety old tables, placing it under the faded silk shaded lamp to examine it closer.

 

On the cover was a copper plated plaque which read ‘breeding compendium” and directly underneath it was an embossed picture of a set of wings. At first I just stared at it and wondered suddenly if someone was leading me on a wild goose chase.

I flicked through the book casually until something caught my eye on page 374, it was an anatomy study of a Nephilim. I traced my fingers lightly over the detailed drawing of the little Nephilim, with his arms stretched wide and legs spread apart his beautiful head was tipped back and his eyes were closed as if he were at peace.

His wings were spread wide like his arms detailing every part of the magnificent silver feathers as they protruded just past his fingertips. my heart ached as I traced the detailed image taking in all the small labels attached to each atomically correct part, my mind wandering to Tommy Joe and the feel of his soft warm skin beneath my own finger tips.

 

I sighed sadly to myself as I whispered “Where are you my little one?” the heavy feeling in my stomach nudging its way into my thoughts again as it always did when something reminded me of him.

I started to read the accompanying paragraphs on the page opposite, the person who had compiled this compendium had done some research on each subject at hand and I was eager to try and learn more, anything that would give me a hint as to what Luther might want Tommy Joe for.

 

The paragraphs read:

 

_'The Nephilim – a product of an Angel and a Human mating to create this offspring. The offspring contains the soul of a human and the grace of an angel, conceiving a Nephilim was strictly forbidden by heaven and use to carry the punishment of death for the Angel sire and the child._

_However this was abolished back in the dark ages as Angels discovered that when Nephilim were subjugated in their correct place they could be of use to the Angels cause, serving them._

_It is said that the power level of a Nephilim is dependent on how strong their angelic parent is. Generally speaking Nephilim are stronger than Angels themselves, the only reason they do not realize this is due to years of subjugation and slavery. They must never know of their powers, as a wise Seraphim once said ‘they are one of the most dangerous things in creation’_

_Once Nephilim were correctly studied and all research compiled it was concluded that those sired by an Archangel were the most powerful of all, they would possess unimaginable power beyond all comprehension._

_One of the ways in which to limit the development of their powers was to remove their long silver wings, as this helps them to channel their grace and unlock their powers._

_The wings are usually removed around the age of five years old before any powers become present. Each power is unique to the Nephilim in question dependent again on their angelic parent, the removal of the wings also serves as a reminder to the Nephilim of their place in society, as having graceful wings is a divine right._

_When studied male Nephilim were found to be much more powerful than females so they were usually culled in order to keep the balance in heaven. Female Nephilim are often fixed so they can no longer mate and bare children._

_In short the Nephilim are regarded as abominations by their Angel counterparts and are treated as such, for an Angel to be consorting with a Nephilim is highly irregular but should this ever come to fruition the Angel can be cast out of heaven and the Nephilim destroyed.'_

 

I finished reading the paragraphs with absolute shock and horror, so what Tommy Joe had told me was true. The Nephilim males were killed at birth and the females had their wings removed and their breeding ability taken away from them.

They had knowledge of all this locked away in the archives and yet they never taught it to their children, they just allowed the Nephilim to suffer at their hands because they feared them.

Fear breeds hate my father use to always say, that whatever people didn’t understand they tried to destroy though he had always said it was ‘human nature’ he said nothing about the supposedly divine doing exactly the same thing.

 

It was starting to become clear now in my own mind, maybe Luther hadn’t only walked in on Tommy Joe kissing another man – A thought that still made my stomach churn horribly – but maybe he realized that Tommy Joe had his wings still.

In which case it would make him very rare and valuable, but why? What was he planning on doing? It’s not like he could use Tommy’s wings somehow for his own gain.

 

I rubbed my eyes tiredly causing the book to slip in my hands slightly, as it did so something slid from between its pages and landed softly on my foot. When I looked down to see what had emerged from the old tome in my hand I discovered a yellowed piece of paper.

It was old but not as old as the book itself and it looked like it had been slipped there last minute, like it wasn’t supposed to be there because it wasn’t a part of the original book.

I stooped to collect it from my foot, turning it over I could see what looked like a schematic for the Los Angeles headquarters where all the higher Angels down on earth in this state work and live, and where the Seraphim council held court. Only on this schematic there is an extra tower to the complex that I didn’t recognize, again it was as if someone had tagged it on to the plans by hand.

 

My tired mind tried to register why it would be there, especially if it was an incorrectly drawn schematic it had no business being there. But still it intrigued me, so I stuffed it roughly into my pocket before returning the book to its place on the shelf, I retrieved my phone from my pocket once more and in a moment of madness text the mysterious number again with the simple message ‘thanks’

I placed the phone back in my pocket and left the archive library, headed once more for home as I mulled over everything that had happened today and tried to come to a solution as to what to do.

 

There was a Mysterious ‘friend’ added to the equation now who was telling me not to trust people when they expected me to trust them. But they had provided me with the information I had sought from the beginning as somewhat of an olive branch and I couldn’t deny I was grateful.

Now the question was, do I go to my mother with this information and risk her re-burying the evidence I have just discovered or do I go to Neil? Will he think I’ve lost my mind?

Or maybe Terrance would know what to do with this information and the weird building schematic. My mind muddled with thoughts as I still realized that all this meant nothing if it didn’t bring me closer to Tommy Joe and where he was. I was going to have to try and find him first because I couldn’t stand living without him, it had honestly been torture and it hadn’t even been 48 hours by this point.

No, I’d have to go and ask someone for help but who to ask… well I would just have to wait and see where my intuition guided me.       


	8. Dreams of the hopeless heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is still searching for answers to Tommy's disappearance, but what he finds will show him that things are rarely what they seem....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all your feedback and kudos I really do appreciate it!! I am trying so hard to keep this going for you all and I apologize for taking so long with this update. life things are crazy at the moment and I've gotten a bout of writers block which doesn't help. I am in the process of writing chapter 10 (as I always like to be 2 chapters ahead before posting one) but it's just not gelling at the moment, so I thought rather than making you wait any longer I'd post number 8 so I hope you enjoy it.   
> I'm going to persevere with chapter 10 today (I'm ill and wrapped in a Disneyland Paris blanket) so hopefully inspiration with strike me :) anyway thanks for staying here as long as you all have. and hopefully it won't be too long until another update.

_"I don't wanna get down in the flame_   
_Why you gotta make me play this game?_   
_Just like a honest liar_   
_Taking on heavy fire_   
_I don't wanna melt down in the heat_   
_Like I got the devil at my feet_   
_Just like a funeral pyre_   
_Taking on heavy fire"_

 

 

The room was shrouded in darkness except for a tiny patch of silver moonlight that clung to the west wall like a child to its mother. It was cold so cold in here but my breath never showed in the air so perhaps the gooseflesh I was experiencing was a trick of my imagination.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could make out a small figure huddled in the corner beneath the moonlight, his dirty blonde hair catching the light like shimmering ice, his pale flesh like freshly fallen snow.

My breath caught in my throat as I gazed upon his impossibly small frame huddled there against the wall, I stepped closer in hesitant wonder as his familiar scent filled the air and stole what little sanity I had left.

 

I dropped to my knees before him, eager hands outstretched like a sunflower searching for light as I caressed the first piece of skin I could find, craving contact for the first time in too long.

He looked at me then over his thin shoulder as if he wasn’t surprised I was here, like he had somehow expected me to come and my heart soared. He bent his face towards the back of my hand, nuzzling it with his nose and taking in my scent in return as those luscious lips grazed the already too sensitive skin.

 

Everything was so still and silent around us, like we had hit pause on the story of our lives, his whole being keeping me anchored in this moment. I cupped his face in my hands and drew him closer to me with unashamed longing, until he had to crawl into my lap so as not to overbalance and fall.

He was thinner I noticed as his weight settled into my lap, those small arms coming to clasp gently behind my neck as his forehead lent against my own, the brown orbs of his eyes staring into my blue ones.

Maybe it was stress? He hadn’t been gone all that long and no amount of meager rations in that time frame could have produced such a change in someone’s physical appearance.

 

I could feel the familiar stirring of desire low in the pit of my stomach and my groin as he balanced there un-moving, soft and delicate as if he were a dandelion on the wind.

Hungry for all that he is I pressed our bodies even closer as my mouth sought his in a fierce kiss that channeled every ounce of light and love I processed, as if by exposing him to it I could banish this awful darkness.

My trembling hands tried in vain to tug at his dirty clothes in a futile attempt to rid him of them, my body pining for his tiny body to be exposed and wrapped around my own.

His hands found my own firmly, halting my current task and causing me to look up into those eyes again to search for a reason.

 

“We don’t have time” he said sadly bowing his head to kiss my fingertips softly

 

“What do you mean? It’s okay I found you. You’re safe now, I’ll take you away and we’ll be free” I reassured him quickly but he just shook his head

 

“No Adam, you didn’t” his voice was sad again

 

“But I am here” I pleaded desperately, trying to make him see sense “I’m not going anywhere!” but the more I tried to hold him the less solid he became like I was trying to catch mist

 

“We don’t have long. Look at this room, it will be your key to finding me” I looked around but it didn’t look any different to any prison cell “I can’t show you this for long, I am getting weak” his voice started to fade in and out like a badly tuned radio

 

“What? How?” my mind reeled with panic as something dark ebbed into the back of my mind ‘it had been too easy’ the voice lurking there told me

 

“I can astral-project but not for long. Can you see anything you recognize?”

 

I scanned the room again feeling exasperated as I tried to drink it all in, but the darkness was all consuming and pressed in upon my usually sharp senses.

It robbed me of the ability to think clearly my eyes scanning unseeingly as the room bowed and warped before my eyes. They were just four walls, four dark walls with no furniture and a stone floor that could have belonged anywhere. Even the bars that emitted the trespassing moonlight onto the wall beside us were not uncommon for most dungeon like holdings.

 

“I don’t know little one” I held back the sob as the guilt and failure set it

 

“Don’t worry love, I know you’re trying” his voice was faint, tired

 

“Please tell me you’re okay? Please I need to hear it” I could sense the hysteria building as I realized I was going to lose him again.

 

“I am surviving. But I want you to find me, I want to be in your arms again” the vision warped again as if the power were dying “I love you, Adam” was the last flicker of life I heard before everything went dark, the cold crept into my bones and I was falling.

 

I woke with a start as the breath reentered my body, my muscles screaming out like a man on fire as if I had been holding my breath the whole time.

My bedroom was filled with sunlight and warmth unlike the other place, that dark place where I’d visited without meaning to. The bedcovers were slick with sweat and tangled ungainly around my limbs as I had struck out and fought to hold on to my little Tommy Joe, his scent mixed with my own on the cotton sheets bringing me back to reality.

 

I sat and thought about it for a while, piecing together all the things I had seen, or had I seen them? Was it a twisted trick of my imagination or was it real?

I hurriedly sprang out of bed, grabbing a notebook from my desk in the corner of the room I began to jot down everything I had seen and everything Tommy Joe had said to me before I forgot it.

I was just sitting idly sketching as I tried to recall all the details when I noticed my hand absently drawing a bizarre symbol, I couldn’t remember seeing this symbol in the room when I scanned it but I did recognize it from somewhere else, I just couldn’t think where.

I had just finished putting the final touches to the notes when someone knocked on the door, cautiously I pushed the notebook into my desk draw and went to answer the door.

 

Terrance stood there looking amused at my startled expression before casually sauntering past me into the entryway. I closed the door behind him and followed his now retreating back into the living room, watching quietly as he finally turned to face me.

 

“Good morning, why are you looking so suspicious? Did I catch you tackling your morning wood?” he teased lightly

 

“No, I just had a very peculiar dream…” I trailed off absently

 

He raised an eyebrow “Well, I hope it wasn’t too taxing for you. Anyway you said I should come over today right? To look at something you found?” he cocked his head intrigued

 

My mind snapped back to the task at hand “Oh yes, of course thank you” I gestured for him to make himself comfortable in one of my big armchairs, which he did before I launched into my story.

 

I told him about how I had come across something in the archives library, though I neglected to tell him that a weird anonymous ‘friend’ had tipped me off via text, as I thought he’d call me stupid for trusting an unreliable source.

I told him all about the compendium, the Nephilim and all I had discovered about their abilities which then triggered my memory of the night before events that I also relayed to him, his eyes growing wide.

I then moved onto the odd little piece of paper and the incorrect schematic which I quickly ran to retrieve from my desk to show him, eagerly hoping he’d know what it meant.

He looked over it for a while in silence as I bobbed nervously on my heels beside him, I noticed a strange expression cloud his features momentarily, though what with all the strange things that taken place over the last couple days I couldn’t be sure I’d seen it at all.

 

“Well?” I urged finally when he still hadn’t made a sound, unusual for Terrance but I had just overloaded him with information

 

“It’s a breeding compendium Adam, I don’t know what to tell you. They were common in the dark ages, just another old relic” he shrugged

 

I frowned “But, it would explain why the Nephilim are going missing if they are really that powerful. And besides what about Tommy coming to me in a dream? Do you think that’s his power?”

 

“I think, that it is entirely possible that you have read something and it has seeped into your unconscious. You’ve latched onto it because you miss him and this is how it’s manifesting” he said simply

 

I was taken aback at that remark “So, you think I am making this all up? The paper and everything?” I asked irritably pacing to keep my temper in check

 

“I never said that, but you must admit that it is all very convenient that you find this information and the second you go to sleep you dream that he’s contacting you through your dreams” his tone was light and patient

 

I could see where he was coming from, I stopped my pacing my shoulders relaxing slightly as I let the idea wash over me “I guess that could happen… but why would that specific piece of paper be in that particular book?” I mused aloud

 

Terrance smiled gently “probably someone doodling whilst doing some research. Or it could be a Nephilim playing games, we’ve found some weird things hanging around in the books over the years”

 

I sighed rubbing my eyes with my fingertips as a heavy exhaustion set in, all my earlier adrenaline burnt away “I just want to find him, Terrance”     

I saw his sympathetic look then as he nodded in agreement, though my mind wandered again as it always did when it came to Tommy and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

As much as I knew Terrance was trying to calm me with his logical approach to things like this, he was definitely the ‘fools rush in’ kind of person where he always thought it wise to think things through before acting rashly. I still couldn’t shake the feeling and it was unsettling me more than usual.

 

“Perhaps Neil’s right and I should go speak to our mother…” I mused resuming my pacing

 

“What for?” Terrance asked eyeing me cautiously for a moment

 

“She should be made aware of all this, I can only hope she sees the urgency in it”

 

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat “Yes, but that would mean you’d have to confess to your lifestyle. To fraternizing with a Nephilim, and there is no guarantee she won’t have him put to death herself when you find him”

 

“I have to have faith that she will hear me out, and be fair with her judgement” I said honestly as I fished my phone out of my pocket with the intention of informing her of my impending visit

 

Terrance stood up quickly “I don’t mean to be rude Adam, but this is not a matter for Seraphim, I am sure she will not entertain your quest”

 

“She will if it’s concerning one of the captains of her divisions. Luther needs to be stopped at all costs. And besides she may know what this symbol is” I added picking up the discarded piece of paper and waving it in the air.

 

Just as he was about to speak again my phone began to ring in my hand, I checked the caller ID, it was Neil. Without another word I connected the call and held the phone to my ear waiting for my brother’s usual drawl to hit my eardrums.

When he didn’t speak I began first “Neil, what’s wrong?” there was a long pause before he responded “Are you alone, and free to talk?” I looked at Terrance quickly confusion written across his face “I’m with Terrance” I informed him and to my surprise he asked me to dismiss my best friend without so much as an explanation.

 

Luckily I didn’t have to voice this to Terrance, who helpfully got the hint and gestured to me that he was leaving anyway. I waved him goodbye silently whilst mouthing a sincere thank you and waited for the door to click shut behind him.

 

“Okay, it’s just me what’s wrong?” I asked again wondering why Neil was choosing now to be cagey

 

He then began a long speech about how it wasn’t easy, but he’d managed to run an interrogation through Isaac’s office after all which Luther had attended under much duress.

Apparently he wasn’t so keen to be ‘treated like a criminal’ in his opinion, when it came to the escape of a fugitive. He claims that whilst every effort was made to retain the suspect and indeed bring him to the judicial cells for processing he had simply vanished without a trace.

Isaac had pushed him on how exactly a prisoner, a Nephilim prisoner no less, who was being transported by at least five archangel’s had evaded them, but Luther had no answer.

 

He was however seemingly willing to throw as many of his fellow squad members under the proverbial bus as he could, citing that he was otherwise distracted by a matter the Seraphim’s had handed onto him.

Though when Isaac checked no such matter had come down from any of the Seraphim council members, of course when he was told this, as Isaac was notorious when it came to checking alibis so to speak he merely passed it off again as a clerical error.

He had even gone as far as to suggest that the whole business was some elaborate ruse planned out by the little Nephilim, to procure his own freedom in some sort of distraction tactic.

 

But the question remained how could five Archangels - highly trained soldiers at that - be overcome by a Nephilim half their size with no discernable skills when it came to combat.

Things definitely were not adding up and as soon as he was reminded of this he became irritable and uncooperative, which then lead to Isaac acquiring a search warrant for his home. Unfortunately when his house was searched they found nothing of any interest, they had taken covert pictures of the place without his knowledge but it was so spick and span in there that there was no way he could possibly be hiding a living creature.

 

Neil was good with details so he had looked over the photos from the search and something caught his eye, it mainly caught his eye because it seemed out of place like it didn’t belong there.

He began to describe a symbol that had been painted in gold above the mantel piece in Luther’s living room, something old and archaic that no one in Neil’s office had ever laid eyes on before.

Though as he described it my stomach started to tighten in response as the image burnt beneath my eyelids, matching the one I had so carelessly doodled as I noted down my bizarre dream.

This only strengthened my case and proved that I wasn’t entirely crazy, I hadn’t subconsciously dreamed this whole thing up because I’d read some dusty library book, it had actually happened. My heart soared for the first time since Tommy Joe had been taken as I realized I was one step closer to finding him.

 

I thanked Neil for all of his help with the whole matter as my mind buzzed with things to do next, once I hung up the phone I decided the best thing to do was to go back to the Library archives and see if I could find anything else that could possibly give me a clue as to what this symbol was about.   

I was just about to pick my phone up again to text Terrance to update him and see if he could help me with searching the books, but then another thought struck me.

What if I text the mysterious number? Would they reply? After all if they’d known where to look when it came to the compendium then maybe they had an idea of where I had to start when it came to this whole symbol.

 

Against my better judgement I picked up the phone and typed out the message _**‘You said you were a friend. I need help, where would I look if I needed to find a particular symbol?’**_ after an agonizing thirty minutes or so I finally received a reply.

 

**_‘you’re on the right track. Section 104, shelf 13, title 28. Go now, tell no one!_ _’_** I hurriedly stuffed my phone back into my pocket without a moments hesitation, grabbed my keys and jacket and took off for the archives.

It’s not often that I use my wings outside of work but honestly they are the quickest and most reliable mode of transport, and I really could do with the speed right now.         

 

It wasn’t long before I reached the familiar shady halls of the archives where there seemed to be no soul alive, not that I had actually stopped to check as I was too focused on my task at hand.

I moved swiftly and silently as a predator in battle wending my way through the dusty shelves and moth eaten lace covered tables to the section I had been told, I scanned the shelves with lightning precision extracting the title the moment my eyes fell on it.

This book was a large burgundy book with black embossed letters which read ‘Sigils and their uses through history’ thank you friend I muttered under my breath as I flipped through the pages of the heavy book trying to be as careful as possible as this book seemed older and more fragile than the other had been.

Finally there it was on page 620 shining back at me in gold, just as ominous and sickening as it had been the first time I’d laid eyes on it, only this time it had writing accompanying it.

I read as fast as my mind could cope as if I feared being suddenly interrupted or maybe I was becoming superstitious and thought it would disappear before my eyes if I didn’t read it straight away.

 

**‘The sigil of divae – this sigil was used by a group known as the divine ones, these individuals were prevalent after the fall of Lucifer in the dark times. They were formed of angels of differing backgrounds who sought to enslave or eradicate mortals. Abandoning their usual mandate to protect the balance of the mortal world they fought to destroy it in the pursuit of creating a world where only angels existed as they felt they were the supreme race.**

**In one of the famous battles waged by this group of individuals Nephilim were recruited and used much like a plague that swept the mortal world as they slaughtered innocent humans in these angels stead. Their strength and numbers were unprecedented and this is what lead to their eventual cull and later subjugation’**

 

I pawed over the writing as if trying to absorb it through my fingertips, I was just about to read through it again when I was acutely aware of a shadow standing behind me in the dimly lit hall.      


	9. Exordium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's about time Adam headed down the rabbit hole.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the feedback as always it is muchly appreciated. sorry about taking so long, it's like I know where the story is going but I just can't find the right words recently. writers block is a nightmare! Anyway I've named this chapter 'Exordium' as it means the beginning of discourse which I think describes things perfectly. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

_"The circle is now complete_   
_The loser admits defeat_   
_You're taking it by surprise_   
_No one will realize"_

 

I wheeled around ready to fight if needs be as whoever it was stepped into the dim lamp light slowly, to my surprise and relief it was only Terrance, though the look on his face threw me off balance.

Far from his usual charismatic smile he wore whenever he greeted his old friend he looked sinister somehow, like the light in his eyes were gone as he coolly surveyed the scene before him.

 

“What have you got there?” he asked the coldness in his eyes matching his tone as I frowned in response

 

“A book on sigils, why? What’s wrong?” I asked trying to sound casual

 

He straightened himself up then and I saw a flash of the old Terrance light his features as they suddenly softened. “What do you need that for?”

 

Suddenly I felt a peculiar prickle in the pit of my stomach, as if something wasn’t right and it alarmed me. “I thought it would help me understand that symbol I’ve been drawing. You know, from my dream?” I encouraged as if signaling to him that I still believed it was nothing more than that.

 

His shoulders relaxed slightly as he came closer, though his wary eyes were still trained on my hand hovering over the page I had been reading “I said that I would do all the Intel within the archives Adam. You may misinterpret the information otherwise”

 

“I know you did, I just had to put my mind at rest and I didn’t want to have to keep calling on you for help” I lied for the first time to my best friend, but his behavior just wasn’t sitting right with me

 

“But that’s what friends are for” he smiled though it did not reach his eyes

 

I closed the book trying to stall the conversation for a moment but he picked up on it, moving swiftly he plucked the book from my hand and flipped it back open.

He flicked through the pages almost nonchalantly as if he didn’t really need to do so because he already knew the page he needed, once there he eyed the symbol without a word the corner of his mouth twitching infinitesimally.

 

“Interesting that you managed to find this all by yourself, I underestimated your sleuthing abilities” he mused never taking his eyes off the horrid symbol on the page.

 

“Well, you know me I am resourceful” I said lightly shifting away from him slightly

“Yes, I do know you” he said quietly “You know? I am sure I’ve seen this symbol before somewhere”

 

“Oh? Where have you seen it?” I was hoping he wasn’t going to say in Luther’s home, because I already knew that’s where Isaac had seen it and it made no sense as to why he would have seen it there

 

“There’s an old wing at headquarters that was shut down a while ago, I’m sure I’ve passed this on the wall by its entrance”

 

I frowned “I wasn’t aware that headquarters had another wing?” I asked curiously

 

“Yes, long forgotten I am afraid, I think that’s what that schematic was pointing to. I just forgot about it is all” he still didn’t look at me

 

“Will you take me there?” I asked hopefully as I secretly slid my phone open under the table. I had a feeling I was going to need back up so I was trying to send out a message to Neil so he’d know where to find me.

 

“I can, yes” he said almost darkly as he finally turned to look at me, a funny little smile played across his face.

 

“Good. Maybe I should assemble the team, just in case we get into trouble” I stalled as I painstakingly tapped out the message, the table excluding my phone from view

 

“We’ll be fine, and by the time you get a team together Tommy Joe might be dead. You don’t want that do you?”

 

“Do you think he’ll be there?” my heart sped up slightly at the thought of being reunited with him once more.

 

“Well, if you think he’s been sending you messages in your dreams then I guess so. It’s a possibility” he reasoned giving nothing away.

 

Glancing down covertly I saw that my message had gotten through to Neil so locking the phone I met Terrance’s stare evenly “Then I think we should go” I said he smiled and gestured for me to stand and follow him.

 

Headquarters wasn’t too far from the archives by flying standards, years ago the elder Seraphim thought it prudent to keep the two separate in case there was an attack on either as it wasn’t wise to put all your eggs in one basket so to speak.

It wasn’t often that any lower angel visited headquarters, unless of course they had a meeting with one of the Seraphim council for any reason and honestly I couldn’t remember the last time I had been here.

The building itself wasn’t anything special, it had been updated and expanded through time so that now it looked like any other glass skyscraper, though it was shaped oddly like a bowed pair of wings something of which the mortals seemed not to notice.

The upper levels were where the council met and discussed matters of state essentially, anything below that were the offices of dominions and cherubs. It was only ever Archangels who lived and worked at the outpost, which made me momentarily grateful as I stared up at the illustrious building in a mixture of awe and foreboding.

 

The lobby was encased in white marble, with its golden pillars and towering statues of historic Seraphim that spoke of divinity and grace. White wall sconces lit the already too bright room whilst harp music gently drifted on the sweet scented air.

It was ironic I thought that Angels really did buy into this whole vision the mortals had of us, with harps and white wings and bright lights, when in essence our job included bloodshed, war and judgement.

We crossed the lobby to the golden birdcage elevators at the end, I followed Terrance cautiously without a word spoken between us. Once inside the elevator he hit the button for floor sixty six, the gates closed and soon we were on our way upwards towards the unknown.

 

Once the carriage reached our destination we disembarked into a slightly dimmer hallway that, unlike the lobby was incased in black marble but still retained its fine golden features.

This hallway seemed to be unused, my head turning periodically to catch glimpses of doorways that had been bricked up with yet more marble so that they were uninhabitable, though the bones of their doorways remained.

For a moment I wondered why we were here, there was nowhere to go in this hallway but back to the waiting elevator surely? We reached the end where there appeared to be a dead end, only to my surprise it was an optical illusion.

 

Rounding a corner I didn’t know was there we entered into a round entryway reminiscent of that of a grand hotel, and upon the floor in a large golden circle was the latin inscription ‘ _Divinitatem dextera mea_ ’ which translated to ‘Divinity is my right’ Terrance stopped in the middle of the inscription and turned to me then.“your symbol” he said pointing to somewhere over my head, I turned to look at the wall just above the entry to the bizarre little room we were in to see the Divae symbol shimmering mischievously back at me from above.

I stared blankly back at him for a few seconds wondering where this was leading before he added calmly “Maybe this phrase is a key?” I said nothing in response as it started to feel like something ominous was about to happen. “We can only try right?” he asked I nodded curtly as he spoke the inscription aloud. Within a few tense seconds of him repeating it to the round vestibule the walls began to stretch upwards as if the building were getting taller somehow, or perhaps we were shrinking? It was becoming hard to tell.

When the walls finally stopped I noticed that on the other side of the room a golden door with the same symbol emblazoned on it had appeared out of nowhere. Terrance moved towards it hand outstretched for the large door handle with a cross engraved into it, as I tugged at his elbow with trepidation “You’re telling me we’ve come this far and you’re too afraid to find out what all this is about?” he asked incredulously. 

“I think we should employ caution here” I whispered back, though my voice reverberated off the stone walls still. 

He ignored me instead choosing to grab my hand firmly and lead me to the doorway at his side, carefully he pushed open the door and a wave of cold air hit us in our chests and crept into our bones. Once inside the mysterious room fire blazed up from torches lining the walls to expose vaulted ceilings, there was something almost medieval about this place with its flagstone floor and the large ash wood oval table that sat in the middle with its twelve matching chairs. I was suddenly aware as I took in the odd grandeur of it all that we were still walking, it was only when we entered a second much smaller room that I suddenly came to my senses.

This was the room I had seen in the apparent dream, it was small and cold and contained the shred of moonlight I had seen even back then. And as my eyes searched I could pick out the tiny figure huddled into the corner of the room with an antiquated heavy manacle clasped to his tinning ankle. Without further hesitation I pushed past Terrance as I slid on my knees to the beautiful little Nephilim, gathering him up in my arms as my wings came to shelter his naked body gently. He stirred weakly as his nose found the crook of my neck and his feeble voice peeled out “I knew you’d find me”  My body ached to hold him, heart thumping and once steady hands shaking as I nuzzled his dirty hair sucking in deep lungful’s of his wonderful earthy scent that still intoxicated me.  “I will always find you, no matter the distance” I assured him as I struggled to keep the tears which welled behind my eyes from spilling into his already matted hair. 

I was so caught up in this little world we had created between us that I didn’t notice other people in the room until a familiar voice began to speak, it’s cold drawl cutting the air like a knife as shivers ran down my spine.

“How very touching”

 

My head snapped back towards the door where Luther stood bathed in the ever present moonlight, his features cold and sharp washed out by the pale light cast upon them.

Suddenly he stopped looking divine, as if those slate grey eyes had turned black like the demons we fought on a daily basis his posture almost elongated and unnatural as he towered over the scene before him.

I looked to the left of him where Terrance still stood motionless, his eyes staring blankly as if it wasn’t really him there and it took me a few moments to piece everything together.

 

“Terrance….”

 

“Don’t Adam, you brought this on yourself. You just couldn’t stay away, could you?” he sounded frustrated

 

Luther smiled broadly at the exchange, as if he relished in the heartache of friends betraying each other. I purposefully kept my stare on Terrance instead of giving Luther the satisfaction he so clearly desired.

 

“I’ve known you since we were kids, why are you doing this?”

 

He crossed his arms and suddenly his form became protective, like a child being reprimanded for bad behavior from a parent “Because they don’t deserve to live! How many have we lost fighting their battles? You lost your own father Adam, it is about time their species came to an end” 

 

“So you’re one of these so called ‘divine ones’ then? Working with HIM!” I shouted feeling the rage burning inside my chest. He didn’t answer and I seized the opportunity to vent my anger further as Tommy Joe cowered into me further.

“All this time? You’ve been helping him. Spying on me when I trusted you the most, above everyone! You know how much I love him and still you let them take him, the boy you spent time with and helped!” my fists clenched reflexively as the thoughts clicked into place.

 

A hollow laugh echoed around the cell “Why else do you think he spent time with him? Stupid boy. We needed a Nephilim powerful enough to accomplish what we want, and the moment that filthy creature exposed his wings to Terrance that’s when we knew he’d be the right fit” Luther clapped Terrance on the shoulder as if congratulating him on a job well done.

 

I noticed sickeningly how proud and pompous my so called best friend looked in that moment as he stood next to his mentor. I wondered if there were signs I had missed, maybe I could have helped him somehow if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own life and my heart broke a little.

 

“So you both recruited most of my friends? Sauli?” I asked not sure I could handle the answer that would come.

 

“No” Terrance said simply “Sauli was always loyal to you, I just had to make you think otherwise so as to shift the suspicion. It just so happened that his career aspirations lead him here, though we haven’t trusted him enough to let him in on what we’ve been doing”

 

I suddenly felt ashamed with myself, how could I have thought that my sweet caring Sauli could do that to me. But then again how did I not know Terrance was a double agent? My head hurt with all the emotions and turmoil that swirled inside it and it was all I could do to hang onto the one thing that kept me anchored, Tommy Joe.

 

“You can be our most esteemed guest, with a front row seat to the action now” Luther said as he started towards me hand outstretched as if to rip me away from my love but Terrance stopped him.

 

“Leave him for tonight, he’ll only fight you and he’s stronger than he looks. Leave it a day and I am sure his high metabolism will burn off most of that bravado. And besides if they fornicate with one another it only makes the little beast stronger, which will work to our advantage”

 

Luther looked disgusted momentarily at the mere thought of anyone wanting to copulate with a man, let alone a Nephilim but he continued forwards just the same.

I was just about to strike him when he darted sideways out of my grasp, swinging his hand quickly he backhanded me hard across the cheek sending a blinding white hot pain into my skull as stars exploded across my vision.

He didn’t look like a strong man but his blow was strong enough to render me incapacitated for a moment as I reeled and clutched Tommy harder, who whined pitifully as he tried in vain to protect me.

 

I felt Luther relieve my phone from my pocket before I heard the crunch of plastic, glass and metal beneath his boot. He went to punch Tommy next who was feebly clawing at him in some misguided attempt to get him to stop focusing on me, but I was ready this time.

He was just about to deliver his blow when I managed to twist away from him pulling Tommy’s body clear as my left boot connected with his shin painfully. He hissed and cursed as the shot sent him a couple feet back, the look of outrage plain on his face as he barreled back towards me fire now lighting those once cold eyes.

 

I tucked Tommy Joe back into the corner quickly as I pulled myself up to my full impressive height, wings unsheathed and fists clenched as he neared me. He threw the first punch which I managed to dodge as I brought my elbow quickly into the side of his head at the same time my knee came up to collide with his stomach.

He doubled over but recovered quicker than I had hoped as he grabbed my hips and drove me back against the wall hard, once pinned he pressed his arm against my throat as he unloaded shot after shot to my ribs causing my breath to be knocked from my lungs.

I tipped my head back as far as it could go against the wall before launching it forwards again as I head butted him as hard as I could, hearing his nose crack sickeningly shooting blood everywhere.

 

He clapped his hand to his bleeding nose as he staggered backwards, the sudden release on my throat making me gasp as air greeted my lungs once more gratefully.

I could see that he was eager for more, as I suppose he isn’t use to people being his physical match but Terrance intervened once more. “That’s enough Luther, I told you he was strong. Leave it for now” this time Luther did as he was told and crossed the room to where Terrance stood.

 

“Oh, so you’re the boss?” I panted trying to stay on my feet against the wall

 

“No, we’re equal. But you know me Adam, I always know the house odds” he said quietly

 

And without another word they both left the room, sealing it shut with the heavy metal door as the darkness pressed in. once I knew they were definitely gone I allowed myself to slide down the wall so I was sitting against it.

The second I was sitting I felt the familiar weight of the tiny Nephilim settle in my lap as he wrapped his little body around me, his trembling hands cupping my face so he could ascertain the damage that was there.

“I’m sorry” he breathed “I should be stronger” I wrapped my wings around him again so as to keep him warm

 

“You are strong, you lead me here” I whispered back as I stared into those brown orbs

 

He didn’t seem too happy about that, and I knew he was more than likely blaming himself for the whole thing as well as beating himself up about not being emotionally strong in this moment.

He’d come such a long way from that pithy young man I had met all those months ago when he first came to me, the one who told stories of his kind and distrusted all angels, including me.

To be honest I could understand why he didn’t like angels now, after everything that had happened here tonight I wasn’t so fond of my own kind either right now.

When he didn’t say anything I just hugged him closer and huffed a sigh into his hair “we will think of something little one, but for now we need to rest” I looked up at the moon shining through the barred window and hoped against all odds that Neil had gotten the message and he’d know what to do.       

        


	10. His love roared louder than the demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is getting too much for Tommy Joe, can Adam pull him back from the brink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for all the support and waiting out another chapter. so in this one there's a little bit of smut and fluff as tensions run high, so I hope you enjoy this. we finally get a little light shone on what's going down and Adam has to pull TJ back from the brink of his emotions.

_"Welcome to my world of truth_   
_I don't wanna hide any part of me from you_   
_I'm standing here with no apologies_   
_Such a beautiful release_   
_You inside of me"  
_

 

 

Tommy and I spoke in the days that followed about what he had learned in the short time he’d spent as Luther’s prisoner, he hadn’t been aware of Terrance’s involvement but he knew there were others as he’d see them come and go every once in a while especially when they came to collect him for trials or feed him.

He had been spared the beatings this time, I suspected it was because he was some sort of chosen one now but he still had to endure the endless invasive procedures and sleep deprivation.

Of course the sleep deprivation served the purpose of severing our link, I blamed myself for telling Terrance when I should have just kept it to myself but Tommy had assured me that there had been no indication that Terrance was a double agent, and I had simply trusted a friend which in itself wasn’t a crime.

 

The divine ones had a plan to literally unleash hell on earth, and in doing so wipe out the whole human species. What they needed was a strong Nephilim host that could be a conduit for the second coming of Lucifer.

The problem is they hadn’t, up until this point, found a Nephilim who could survive the transference as they would usually die before the spirit could take hold.

Even though Lucifer himself was an angel once, Nephilim were stronger than their sires in most cases so it made sense for them to use something which not only gave him more strength and power for his rebirth, but also something disposable.

Dead things were not meant to live inside the living and it would only be a matter of time before the rotten spirit would kill its host, meaning of course that Tommy wouldn’t survive for long, this revelation made me both sick and angry in equal measure.

 

They hadn’t shared when this event was to take place but something told me they would wait for a holy day because that’s when angels are stronger, all they had told Tommy was that when it was time Lucifer would claim him for his own and in return he would go down to earth and slaughter man.

He had tried to fight it the first time Lucifer tried to possess him, but it had been painful and afterwards he found himself weakened and sick which had resulted in him having to rest for a long period of time.

The astral-projection was new to him though, he wasn’t even aware he could do it until after this incident had taken place and he had assumed it was a direct result of the possession, like Lucifer were unlocking powers within him that he didn’t know existed.

I of course relayed the information I had found in the archives and he genuinely seemed shocked that Nephilim were more powerful than their angel counterparts, though he reasoned that it would support why Nephilim received such cruelty from the fearful angels.

We hadn’t seen Luther or Terrance since the night I was lead here and I began to wonder why they were keeping me in the same room as Tommy Joe, when they knew I’d be working on a plan of escape for the pair of us.

It seemed completely out of character, almost like a kindness really considering I had been without my little one for far too long as it is and I wanted nothing more than to have him wrapped around me till the end of all time.

 

“It’s because they need me strong” Tommy said wearily as he padded around the small cold room

 

I thought on it for a moment “And I make you strong?” I raised an eyebrow wryly

 

He shot me a cute lopsided grin “Haven’t you noticed how dull my wings are?” he shook them gently in front of me

 

I cocked my head to the side studying them for a moment, they did look duller they were less of a silver now and more of a grey. Even the tips had seemed to lose their luminescence, now that I really looked at them. They didn’t even catch the light the way they use to.

 

“Not until you mentioned it” he looked reproachful so I added “Because I’ve been focusing on your beautiful face”

 

His face was sarcastic “You are a typical boyfriend huh?” he huffed sitting back down opposite me

 

“I’m your boyfriend am I?” I teased him lightly turning his cheeks a cute shade of pink in the low light.

 

He shrugged shyly and mumbled something I couldn’t quite hear but I knew it would be either something self-deprecating or sarcastic and it made me smile as I watched him.

 

“I am just teasing you” I said gently making him look up at me through his fringe, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. “But why are they so dull? And what does it have to do with you being strong?” I tried to change the subject before my mind wandered to other places.

 

“Nephilim are ruled by emotions, because we’re part human. So when I am sad or something my wings grow duller and I get weaker. When I am happy they’re bright and I am strong, so I guess they know you make me happy so in turn that makes me stronger” he was still blushing when he added “and when we… are ‘with’ each other, it triggers some sort of chemical reaction that makes me stronger”

 

“So you mean when we make love?”

 

He grinned and placed the tip of his index finger between his teeth coyly, as those long lashes fluttered against his cheek and my own lust stirred in my groin.        

Finally he nodded as if confirming my statement “That’s why they’ve left us here, they’re hoping that the temptation would be too great”

 

“I expect that’s also why they’ve left you with no clothes?” I sighed as I surveyed his beautiful form across from me.

 

He shrugged “whatever works I guess, but I am trying so hard to resist you also” he looked bashfully down at his hands clasped together resting in his lap.

 

I wished he wouldn’t be so coy when it came to admitting things to me like this, after all he wasn’t at all shy when it came to being naked so why when he had to admit that he loved me as much as I loved him?

If I had to guess I would say it was from years of being told you’re not good enough, but from what I had learned from him his mother loved him very much. So it was to do with him being a Nephilim and me being an Angel then, I vowed right then and there that this had to stop.

 

“I know you love me, just as much as I love you so will you please stop being so bashful about it?

 

He looked up at me, meeting my gaze evenly as he mulled over my words. I could see the way he looked at me as the thoughts swirled behind those deep brown eyes like thunder clouds.

He stood up again, a habit he had when he was about to reveal something he didn’t really want to but at the same time felt compelled somehow to share anyway.

I stood too, wanting to show him that I could match anything he wanted to tell me like a physical manifestation of my own thoughts so that nothing would be misconstrued between us.

 

“I know that” he began carefully “I know and it scares me, it scares me to think of how I can ruin your life and worse, how you’d let me. It scares me that you would risk your life for me, that you ended up here with me instead of at home safe and warm. Before I came along you were fine and now look where you are” he gestured to the room around us sadly

“I wasn’t fine! I was surviving sure, but I wasn’t living. Yes you have changed my life but only for the better” he looked incredulous suddenly, I dismissed it and continued “I know things seem hopeless right now but we’ll find a way. I have been a wreck without you, like a sleepwalker after the way you’ve loved me and quite frankly I would rather be here with you in this horrible place than anywhere without you”

 

He threw his hands up in the air, exasperation coloring his delicate features “and how are we going to find a way? You are one angel against, for all we know a thousand! Do you understand what they want me to do? Have you heard anything I’ve said? They want me to be a conduit for Lucifer himself and slay an entire race! They’re going to turn me into a monster Adam! And no matter what happens I will die either by their hands or your precious seraphim’s”

 

His cheeks were flushed with the sudden outburst and I watched as his little chest heaved fiercely like a drowning man gasping for his last breath. I took a step towards him and for the first time ever he backed away slightly the frustration emanating from him as his wings flicked restlessly.

 

“I won’t let them. I won’t let anyone hurt you Tommy Joe. Together we will rise up and stop them and then we will educate the others, I won’t stop until you and your kind are treated fairly”

 

“Do you even hear yourself when you talk!? Or are you all brainwashed at birth to think everything can be solved because you wish it. Nothing is going to stop them, this is it now” he was breathing harshly now as if trying and failing to keep his emotions in check

 

“I sent a message to Neil before we came here…”

 

“Oh okay, great we’re saved! And I suppose you told him about the super secret lair an underground group of assholes have secretly built into the foundations of this building right? Or have you mentioned that your best friend is a backstabbing bastard who needs to be followed to his evil clubhouse?” his voice rising with every passing minute

 

“I know you’re frustrated love…”

 

“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!” he roared as I tried to encircle his waist with my arms and he pushed me away. His eyes grew dark and cold his fine features almost unrecognizable as he rounded on me. He took a swipe at me which I managed to duck moving with precision to wrap my arms around him and still him as I enveloped him in my wings.

He struggled against me for a moment, voice slightly muffled as I held him tight but I knew he was shouting profanities at me none the less. He attempted to push me away and wriggle out of my grasp, which he succeeded doing a couple times however I just kept going back to him to hold him time and time again no matter how much his shoving bruised me.

Eventually his tiny body had burnt through all his rage and the tears came flooding down his cheeks as he hiccupped a pitiful “I. Hate. You” in between sobs.

His legs gave way beneath him so I swept him up, backing him up against the wall as his lean legs wrapped instinctively around my hips. I pinned him softly between my body and the wall making sure he was still wrapped in my wings so his back wouldn’t be cold against the harsh stone.

 

I knew that his outburst had been a product of fear and exhaustion so I couldn’t hold it against him, so much had happened in such a short space of time that it would be impossible not to affect anyone on any level. Also considering the harrowing ordeals he’d faced alone recently I was surprised he was as together as he was all things considered.

My hand left his hip to cup the side of his face, my thumb gently caressing his tear stained lips as he fought to calm him breathing down. He closed his eyes the teardrops standing out fiercely against his dark lashes, the mere sight of him in this state made my heart ache.

 

My mouth met his softly as I tasted the salty tears there, a painful reminder of his anguish as if the memory would ever be erased from my mind. He sighed in response opening his mouth to allow my tongue to gently caress his in a deep seductive kiss.

He moaned low in his throat fingers tugging at the hair on the nape of my neck with urgent need, when I didn’t respond the way he wanted he began to use the wall as leverage to gyrate against my growing erection.

I wanted nothing more than to lay him down and make love to him for hours but I knew it would only make things worse, even if all I could think about was drowning myself in his delicious earthy scent.  

 

I pulled away suddenly and he whined at the loss of contact, batting those long lashes of his in silent questioning. “We can’t do this, baby” I sighed leaning my forehead against his in defeat.

 

“I know, but I need you right now”

 

It wasn’t so much what he said, but how he said it. With such desperate longing that it almost broke my heart “I would move the heavens and the earth for you, but we can’t give into what they want”

 

He nodded sadly “but what if I die? I’d never get to spend another moment in your arms. Never get to run my hands over your naked body… never get to feel you inside me” his voice dropped low and sultry as his fingers danced over my collarbone.

 

I tried to stifle the groan that rose in my chest “Baby, don’t be naughty”

 

His grin was wicked in response as he pushed his hands up under my shirt and began stroking my wing joints. He knows how much it drives me crazy and I was suddenly regretting telling him about my little kink.

I tried to concentrate even though it was nearly impossible “And please stop saying you’re going to die. I won’t let that happen, and guilt sex is really unattractive”

 

He giggled for the first time since we’d been here “if it’s so unattractive then why are you so hard?” he slid his other hand from my shoulder to cup my crotch arrogantly.

 

I shivered trying to stop myself, but my body had other ideas as my hips moved almost automatically pressing myself into his hand. Causing us both to moan unashamedly, the heat returning between us “We can’t!” I ground out like a cry for help     

 

“Shut up and touch me!” he growled before smashing his mouth to mine again causing me to lose what little self-control I had left. I couldn’t deny that I was tired, cold, hungry and above all horny as all hell with the most beautiful creature wrapped around me right now.

Even though I should have been thinking about the consequences like the warrior I am I couldn’t help but be selfish, yes the world needed to be saved and if Tommy Joe wasn’t strong enough to take Lucifer’s soul then it would be a good thing because he’d lack power.

But then would he die from the effort? I pushed that thought away and tried to refocus because there was also the side of the argument where Tommy Joe needed to be loved, he needed to be worshiped by the one person he craved most for his own sanity especially if he really did think he was going to die in all this.

 

He watched me through lidded eyes as I’d neglected the kissing in favor of my internal war that waged between my heart and mind. “I’m sorry, I don’t hate you, I love you and I’d never hurt you” he clearly thought I didn’t want him anymore because of his little breakdown earlier.

 

Snapping me out of my deep reverie I smiled at him peacefully “I know, I’m just weighing the options”

He rolled his eyes and cursed softly under his breath “You angels think too much” a constant bugbear of his

 

“Little one, if I give in and make love to you like I really want to right now then they will get what they want. But if I don’t I think I’ll die” I lied slightly because I didn’t want him thinking that I thought he was weak

 

“I don’t want you to die” he said his voice small and full of yearning

 

I smiled back at him in earnest whilst his fingers started relieving me of my shirt, discarding it quickly he pressed his lips to my chest leaving a trail of light kisses in his wake.

Deciding this position was far too difficult for the task at hand I carried him back to the center of the room, gently depositing him onto the floor as I knelt between his open legs. I quickly removed my pants and boxers his eyes going wide with lust as he took in my fully naked form, and he reached out to rake his hand over my torso.

I took his hand and kissed the palm gently “Turn over” I commanded playfully, he scrunched his nose up a little laugh escaping his lips as he cheerfully obliged. I helped to position him so that he was leaning forward on his elbows, palms flat on the floor his legs spread slightly apart with that beautiful round ass in the air.

 

Kneeling behind him I began needing those soft round cheeks raking my nails softly over the porcelain skin. Hearing the breathy moans coming from Tommy Joe was making me painfully hard and I wanted nothing more than to send him over the edge right now.

I stuck two fingers in my mouth making sure to coat them liberally in saliva as there was no other lubricant around, I pressed the first to his entrance rubbing it firmly, alternating pressure as I teased him.

He grunted and shot a menacing look over his shoulder as I toyed with him a little while longer, finally taking the hint that he was getting impatient I plunged the first finger inside him to the knuckle, pulling an almost feral growl from him as I curled and pushed my finger in and out of him.

 

It wasn’t long before I added the second finger, my name ripping from his throat like a holy prayer as he tried to fuck himself back onto my fingers. I allowed him a couple of short thrusts before I pulled both fingers out of him and he whined in annoyance, flapping his strong wings in frustration.

Without a word I spread his cheeks to lap at his tight little hole “ADAM!!!” he cried his whole body beginning to vibrate as he moaned and squirmed and I continued to flick my tongue over his increasingly sensitive entrance.

“Adam… Urgh… Fuck me hard… please!” he trembled digging his fingernails into the cold stone floor which to my surprise cracked under the pressure he was applying.

Taking my cue I knelt back up, stroking my already leaking cock a couple times as I spread my own pre come over and around my pulsating tip. Lining up I slowly pushed my hard cock inside him, our moans mixing in the thick air that hung around us as I felt that delicious warmth surround me again for the first time in weeks.

I sat for a moment drinking in the intoxicating feeling of him before I pulled nearly all the way out again, slamming back in with rough want “Harder!” he growled through gritted teeth making my cock jump in response.

 

Placing one hand on his hip, the other going to tangle in his sweat dampened hair roughly tugging it as I pounded into him harder. Each thrust going deeper as he cussed and shouted my name and I chanted his in response.

“Yeah baby take it, take all of me. Fuck you feel so good Tommy Joe” I panted as I continually hit that sweet spot inside of him.

 

“Fill me up full with that massive angel cock. Let me feel you come inside me” those dirty words tumbling from his plump pink lips sending me over the edge.

 

I could feel the familiar heat low in my stomach as all my muscles clenched and with one final thrust my release thundered through me as I spilled myself inside of him.

My release and the sensation of my load filling him full was enough to make him come violently, shooting his own load over the floor as his little body trembled and collapsed with a soft thud against the dirty floor.

I was tired and my muscles were aching from all the adrenaline that had flooded through them but I needed to pull him close as he slipped peacefully into the deepest sleep he’d had in a while. As he slept I could physically see the change in him, it was like someone had flooded him with light and magic as his wings grew brighter and his skin regained its beautiful glow.

I didn’t know where we could go from here but I knew I had to get us both out of here if it was the last thing I did.          

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *AUTHORS NOTE* I know it seems like Adam gave in too easily, but I think he'd genuinely do anything to make Tommy Joe feel better because he loves him so darn much. it was a way for them to block out the reality for a little while and re-establish a connection between them :)


	11. Ascension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come, evil is coming but who will survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for keeping me going with this story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as the proverbial matter hits the fan :)

_"Throw bones on the fire_   
_Throw down control_   
_Laying down the law_   
_Lay me down slow_   
_Take hold of me_   
_Take hold of me_   
_I give myself unto thee_   
_Sacrifice_   
_Sacrifice_   
_Sacrifice_   
_Sacrifice"_

 

 

Days and nights continued to roll into one another like an undefined jumble of pitiful existence, we were often left alone for long periods of time without so much as a word from Luther or Terrance or in fact another living soul.

Then there were times when they would come for Tommy Joe in the middle of the night as we slept, too many times he’d been wrenched from my grasp the feeling of cool air hitting my body where his heat had once been curled around me.

I’d tried to stop them on several occasions but there were too many of them much of the time, and I was beginning to feel weak from the lack of nutrition and restful sleep. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that I couldn’t protect him, that I couldn’t stop the monsters from snatching him up and taking him away again and again.

 

He would be gone for hours, sometimes even days at a time and when he was returned he was often drained and quiet, returning only to the corner he seemed to prefer over all else.

I’d try to comfort him but he was distant with me and despondent in general which did little to alleviate the fear I had that he didn’t love me anymore, because I couldn’t be his avenging angel.

I’d try to talk to him about what they were doing, but he wasn’t forthcoming and I didn’t want to cause him any distress by reliving it time and time again. It was as though he was becoming a shell of himself and I hated it, but what I hated more was that I couldn’t stop it and no one was coming to save either of us.

 

In his absences I had tried to vain to find a way out of this hell, though between the exhaustion and impenetrable walls it was becoming increasingly impossible.

I wondered whilst slumped against the walls on numerous occasions why no one was coming for us, were they simply not looking? Or had Terrance had a hand in covering all this up as he was skilled in the art of deception.

I was hoping as that was really all I could do at this point, that my family and real friends hadn’t just given up on me. But then what if Terrance had told them that I was gay? That I’d run away with their despised Nephilim, a male no less, that I am sure would stop my mother from having any desire to find her eldest son.

 

I was sat once more in such a position with the swirling whirlpool of thoughts and emotions bouncing around my skull when I had a visitor unexpectedly arrive.

Even though I’d never seen this stranger before in the flesh I was pretty certain I knew who he was, he was tall maybe around 6ft 5” with a lean muscular body that leant airily against the door almost in a mixture of arrogance and amusement.

His eyes were amber but within them I could see the darker flecks of brown which reminded me so much of another’s though I couldn’t place them in this moment. His hair was long and a dirty blonde color swept up into a bun on the top of his head, this sides of which were shaved.

 

“Kelum I presume?” I asked hoping the disinterest was evident in my tone

 

He just stared at me for a moment before unhitching himself from the doorway to come stand in the center of the room. When he came to a halt I noticed something silver glinting at his hip and realized he’d come to collect me.

 

“Handcuffs on the first meeting? I’m really not that type” he smirked but did nothing more “Ah, the strong silent type huh?” when he still didn’t answer I gave up and turned my face away from him.

 

Suddenly I felt his soft warm hand close around my wrist before the cold metal began to bite down around me, a surge of adrenaline slammed into my veins and I felt my body begin to fight back again for the first time in a while.

Reaching with the hand he didn’t currently have hold of I seized him by the back of his top, hauling him over sharply I managed to toss him against the wall. Moving fast I twisted my body so I was able to crouch on top of him, one knee at his throat as my hands grasped both his wrists tightly, the metal from my own swinging wildly with the sudden movement.

 

It was a long and awkward staring contest for a while, that amused look never leaving his pale features even though he was pinned beneath me, my look of determination growing brighter in my own eyes.

 

“They shouldn’t have sent just you” I informed him

 

“They thought you’d want a front row seat, so I guess they thought you’d come quietly. Surprised there’s any fight left in you” his voice was deeper than I’d expected as one of his perfect arched blonde eyebrows quirking in that ever present amusement.

 

“Front row seat?” my brain felt slow and smothered

 

“It is the ceremony today, would you rather he died without you being there?”

 

My heart thumped loudly against my ribcage as those words sunk in, I unconsciously pressed my knee harder into his throat making him cough in response.

“He’s not going to die!” I snarled the fire of hatred returning to my chest as I stared into those amber eyes that seemed so familiar

 

“Do you not think so? Your anger betrays you, Adam” his arrogance was becoming tiresome

 

“He’s stronger than you think! He’ll fight it I know he will”

 

“He didn’t manage to fight it fully last time, Lucifer has worn him down enough now. It was only ever a matter of time” his otherwise beautiful smile was crooked, making him appear leering.

 

I stifled my anger for a moment as I pushed the thought of the ceremony down inside my over active mind “Why do you hate them so much? Nephilim… mortals… have you no decency?”

 

“Have you? After all you’re fucking one of them” there was something which ghosted briefly across his face then as I watched it grow dimmer in his eyes I began to wonder.

 

“Is that why you helped pick him? Because you couldn’t have him?”

 

He scoffed a look of disgust creeping into his features “No I picked him because he ruined my life” his look turned dark and I was caught off guard

 

“How can something so kind and sweet ruin your life” my mind was whirring now as I watched for his reaction, though before I could witness it he broke my grip on his wrists using his now free hands to shove me in the chest, the force of his blow knocking the wind out of me and sending me sailing across the room into the adjacent wall.

I tried to get back up but he was on me quicker than I could process and before I could do anything to fight back this time I felt the metal of the cuff close around my free wrist, before he hauled me to my feet again and slammed my back against the wall.

 

“His mere existence, a product of my father’s lust with a mortal. Can’t you see the family resemblance with my Halfling half-brother?” he asked darkly as he jerked me violently.

 

“He left my mother for that woman, an angel for a mortal can you imagine? He claimed it was love, that he couldn’t help it but I knew it was because she was carrying that little bastard Nephilim. He did anything he could to protect them even tried to be dismissed so he could live a mortal life, it was pathetic and he was unworthy of his station” the venom and anger seeped into his words harshly.

 

I stayed silent as I allowed him to vent his frustrations, even though I didn’t agree with it I could imagine how much hate would burn inside a person who felt they had been abandoned pushed out by a child who should have never been born.

It seemed that it was easy for the divine ones to recruit people to their cause, because many had been hurt in one way or another by either a mortal or a Nephilim. Those who spew hate are very good at poisoning those whose hearts are already blackened and charred all they ever need is a little push in order to be swallowed in the sea of their despair, I began to pity them.

 

“Even when he liked boys, he could do no wrong. But when I liked both…” his words trailed off as he pressed me between himself and the wall his hand coming to stroke the side of my face slowly as he gazed at my lips longingly “I guess me and the half-breed have at least one thing in common” he drew his thumb across my lips and it made my skin crawl.

 

I tried to jerk my head back away from him to indicate that I in no way wanted his advances, but all this did was anger him further his eyes almost igniting with his fury “He gets everything! I hope he dies, I hope he destroys everything!” he lowered his voice, hand around my throat in a chokehold as he pushed his face closer to mine “And then I’ll have you, and you won’t be able to stop me. I’ll make you forget all about him” his tone was dangerous and final as if he believed what he was saying.

 

“I will never let you touch me, and I will never forget my little one” I said defiantly

 

He was just about to come back with another retort but Terrance entered the room looking dubious “Kelum! Hurry up Luther is waiting for us in the chamber” Kelum didn’t bother turning around, choosing instead to keep staring at me intensely.

 

“In a minute, Terrance”

 

“I said now! What is wrong with you!?” Terrance snapped finality in his voice

 

Kelum growled irritably under his breath as he turned catching my handcuffs as he glided round to shove me forward so I was sandwiched between the pair of them “Walk” he barked out stiffly as I began to follow Terrance’s retreating form out of the room that had been our prison.

 

The hallway I was lead down was just as dark and ominous as the others, with flagstone flooring and sandstone walls it was hard to believe that it resided within another building that was so modern on the outside.

The hall was lit with sconces that held blue holy heaven fire which served to cast an eerie glow on everything it touched, there were large wooden doors which lead off the corridor in every way possible making the whole lay out confusing and disorientating in the unsettling light.

After a few minutes of walking we made it to a regal set of heavy golden doors inscribed with horned goats and other winged creatures all of which had opulent red jewels cast into their eyes.

The air was heavily scented with fragrant incense, it washed over me as the doors opened and I was admitted into another dimly lit room. This room however was cavernous with large vaulted ceilings, pillars adorned the large gold statues of famous fallen angels from the uprising of Lucifer and the battle that ensued.

 

There was an alter at the far end of the room with an array of holy looking objects and books piled on top of it, candelabras with black pillar candles lit the room with others positioned on the floor creating a blanket of stars upon the marble.

In the very center of the room was a magnificent pool filled with golden liquid that shimmered in the candle light, it looked so inviting that I wondered if it was actual melted gold which resided there.

Kelum marched me down the steps in silence forcing me to stand at the bottom of the pool as he held me in a vice like grip, moments later Luther along with seven other angels in dark robes entered the room through a door to the side of the alter.

 

The seven Angels fanned out around the edges of the pool with Luther at the head, the last few people entered the room dragging a frightened looking Tommy Joe with them his eyes round and large.

He was dressed in a white robe his hair bright blonde as he was manhandled towards the pool edge, I cried out to him and fought against Kelum’s grip but it was to no avail.

The seven Angels, Luther and Terrance all began chanting in low voices which rang out inside the cavernous space, while the two who held a trembling Tommy Joe stood century like stone soldiers.

 

“LET GO OF HIM!” I screamed as I watched the small Nephilim’s fear vibrate through his body

 

Kelum leant in to whisper in my ear “You should say goodbye now” he sneered nastily drawing his tongue along my jaw sickeningly

 

“Go fuck yourself!” I snarled back lurching my head to the side to head butt him but he managed to move out of the way too quickly  

 

“But why do that when I’ll have you to fuck soon” his grin was wicked as he gripped my jaw with his strong hand to make me face the ceremony again “Doesn’t look like a fighter now does he?” he was enjoying every moment of this.

 

I tried to ignore him as I called to Tommy Joe again “YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM LITTLE ONE, I KNOW YOU’RE STRONG ENOUGH! FIGHT HIM!” his little head snapped up and those warm chocolate eyes fixed on me intently as if he were trying to anchor himself to me.

 

“Let’s just break his spirit a little more shall we?” suddenly a knife appeared at my throat, the cold steel cutting into my skin slightly as I heard Tommy Joe scream off in the distance.

 

I saw Terrance approach him as he stood there his eyes still wide and now watery as he stared hopelessly up at me, even though I couldn’t hear what it was he was whispering I knew he would be threatening my life in place for his co-operation.

He looked so much smaller and vulnerable as he listened to the venom Terrance whispered in his ear, Terrance removed the smaller boys robe to reveal his pure naked form and shimmering silver wings.

 

The two angels who had been holding him before Terrance had made an appearance stepped up now with jade bowls filled with something dark red that looked suspiciously like blood, they began to paint symbols over his white porcelain skin.

That’s all it took for me to kick myself into action, flexing my wings powerfully as the rage and need to be with him overtook me I managed to knock Kelum aside the knife clattering to the floor as I shot into the air, my wings carrying me towards my love.

I barely made it to him, inches from touching him before they were on me like a swarm of locusts. I kicked out connecting with bone as I waded my way through the onslaught, my muscles screamed out in protest at the sudden exertion.

I wouldn’t stop, couldn’t stop until he was safe but I could also feel the fatigue setting into my bones as they just kept coming. Many hands pushing and pulling, some landing blows I barely registered as the din of voices grew steadily louder, and then all the motion stopped and I found myself pinned face down on my stomach with those many hands restraining me.

 

I turned my head to the side so I could see Tommy Joe, his tears were visible even in the flickering of the candle light as a number of angels held him still as he must have been trying to get to me also.

Just then Luther approached me his dark robes swinging with the motion of his confident stride until he crouched down to talk to me.

 

“Adam, this really won’t do you know. Causing such a commotion when we have vital work to do, if you cannot behave I will have to dispatch you do you understand?” he asked casually flashing a bone handled knife at me from beneath the dark fabric

 

“No” it was a clear and strong statement that rang out amid the silence of the congregation, and it came from Tommy Joe. Luther turned to him then as if confused though Tommy didn’t give him a chance to answer “If you harm him, in any way I will make sure the ritual fails. And if it doesn’t fail I will make sure that you are the first thing your dark master slays” his eyes were ablaze with strength and promise as he carefully delivered each word

 

Luther smiled in response as if the statement intrigued him “As you wish, little one” he concealed the knife once more

 

“You do not call me that!” Tommy’s words reverberated fiercely, I was sure I saw Luther flinch at their authority “Now let him up, I wish to say goodbye” his words still strong but I could hear the misery deep within them.

 

Luther nodded curtly and I was sure he was fighting within himself at his sudden loss of power as he signaled for the ones holding me to obey. They let me up on my feet but I wasn’t free to go anywhere as Kelum and another strong angel kept me in a bruising hold.

They marched me forward so that I was so close to my perfect little Nephilim I could smell his earthy scent, his large luminous eyes stared up at me with a mixture of sadness and finality. His small hands now steady reached up to cup my face gently so he could draw me closer to him, our foreheads resting against one another refusing to close my eyes as if I’d forget the sight of him.

 

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me” he breathed softly so only I could hear him “I love you so much, Adam”

 

“I love you too, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough” I swallowed the lump in my throat because I didn’t want to cry in front of them

“Grief, I’ve learned is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat and that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go” his lips touched mine gently in a chaste kiss and through it was gentle it reflected all of the unspent love he talked of.

 

As we pulled away he murmured next to my ear “No matter what happens, no matter what I want you to stop him. It’s not me anymore, remember that” and with that he pulled away as the rough hands jerked me away from him, spinning me around so I could watch the ceremony continue.

The others had encircled the pool turned inwards to face the serene golden pool as I watched on helplessly, Luther had begun chanting again from a large old book on the altar as Terrance directed Tommy Joe into the pool.

 

He walked with his head held high, determination clouding those delicate features as he stepped confidentially into the pool breaking its shimmering surface.

He waded to the center, the water never rising above his waist as he turned back to face the altar, he looked at me once more before he mouthed “I love you, I’m sorry” and as the incantation died on Luther’s lips Tommy Joe spread his arms wide, closed his eyes and fell back into the liquid gold allowing it to consume him.

 

For a moment nothing happened and I was hopeful that they had done something wrong, that Lucifer wasn’t coming and this had all been for nothing. Maybe then they would be defeated and Tommy Joe and I could escape somehow and live a peaceful life together, but the problem with hope is that that is all it ever is a wish and a longing that usually fails to materialize.

Suddenly the once peaceful sunlight pool of golden liquid changed to thick dark blood as the surface twitched and writhed the smell of decay and evil filling the air as those around it looked concerned.

_And then something started to stir from the center of the putrid mass, something which raised steadily, something not right…_


	12. I will raise my throne above the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer has arisen, there is no hope only darkness.... will anyone make it out alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys and girls, so this chapter is a little dark because I am after all, more of a horror writer than anything else :D I hope you enjoy this chapter, and remember everything happens for a reason ;)

_"I can tell your heart's cold_  
_Like a fallen angel walking in your sleep_  
_I guess you're just a lost soul_  
_But when the moon comes out, you turn into a beast"_

 

Whatever this thing was, it was emerging from the putrid pool like some sick and twisted newborn animal. The thick mass of blood oozing slowly down it’s body as it raised higher into the air, all eyes fixed upon it until it had shed its bloodstained skin.

Finally you could make out the form of a man, my man though there were subtle changes now that made it obvious that Tommy Joe was no longer there, that he was just an empty vessel now.

This mans skin was still pale as moonlight but it had a sickly yellow glow about it which emanated something foul rather than something beautiful the way it always had before. The once blonde hair was now a dark brown, his wings black as midnight matching his cold soulless black eyes.

 

His form was elongated and boney like a soul twisted out of shape, the marks which were once painted in blood were now dark stains upon the newly born flesh.

He floated ethereally as if caught in a gentle breeze for a moment before descending down to the head of the pool once more where Luther and the others were waiting in awe. When his feet finally touched the floor they made no sound as he stilled himself, those black eyes surveying the scene in front of him blankly.

His expression wasn’t evil but it spoke of superiority and mild disinterest, it was clear that he thought himself above anyone in his presence. I assumed this is how Lucifer had been in his first life, and seeing as he was once regarded as the prince of hell or the dark prince it wasn’t surprising that he believed his own legend.   

 

His gaze finally landed on Luther who was unctuously bowing in front of him, his eyes alight with excitement as he faced his dark master. It was how I assumed mortals felt when they met their famous kind and it made my skin crawl to see someone so subservient and groveling.

Finally he spoke, his tone commanding and full of confidence though you could hear undertones echoed within it as if many voices resided within him and it chilled me to the bone.

 

“Who summoned Lucifer, the prince of darkness” he was not genuinely asking, more like accusing like someone had interrupted some important otherworldly business he was needing to attend to.

 

Luther stepped forward, stooped in another low bow a smile curving his lips in triumph “It was I my lord, and all those gathered here. Welcome back to this world, together we will fulfill your life’s mission”

 

He stretched his wings idly and I suspected he wasn’t really listening because in the next breath he began “This body is not a full angels, though it is strong” he ran his hands over his naked form feeling the skin and bone of a living entity, it took all my strength not to scream at him to stop touching my little one’s body.

 

“No, my lord but he is a very strong Nephilim and he shall serve you well. He has incredible talents” Lucifer walked past him, his walk arrogant as he paced the small area in front of the pool before his eyes settled on me.

 

“I do not care for your groveling tone, underling” he dismissed Luther’s overbearing manner before refocusing his attention onto me “this one is special to this vessel, I can feel him tugging and struggling in the depths below. He does not want me near him” he sounded strangely amused, cocking his head to one side as he weighed this revelation.

 

This made my heart skip a beat as hope flooded my veins, so Lucifer could feel Tommy Joe’s spirit meaning that he hadn’t died in the transfer. So maybe just maybe he’d be able to come back to me, it made my heart soar as I thought about it.

 

“He is no one, just an Archangel the creature copulated with” his tone carried with it the disgust he always wore when speaking of the love between two men.

 

Lucifer didn’t blink he just kept staring with those intense soulless eyes which bored into me before he spoke again “You remind me of Eber”

 

I swallowed hard as the weight of his words slammed into me, I could tell he knew his words had caught me off guard and that he was now quietly reveling in it.

When no one offered him an explanation as to why I reminded him of a well-known heroic Archangel he moved on “His body would have been most agreeable, why did you not try him first”

 

Luther looked at Terrance almost in reassurance, and then back towards a waiting Lucifer “Well, most angels we tried did not cope with the transference my lord. So we thought a Nephilim more fitting as they can accommodate you better and they are stronger”

 

“Stronger than an Angel” he looked doubtful “they are worthless, like rabid dogs for the sake of hunting foolish mortals” he said flippantly

 

“Are you displeased my lord?” Terrance stepped forward now trying to appear more in control of the situation than any of them were

 

Lucifer turned to face him as he mulled over the question, everything about his demeanor was intimidating and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It was like he was a new strange animal that was unpredictable and capable of great violence which made everyone in the vicinity cautious.

 

Finally he replied nonchalantly “it will do” though it didn’t sound as if it would, more like a bratty child settling for his lot in life.

 

He spun to face the entire room this time, his voice raised as he addressed the room much as a king would to his subjects “My Divae! Now is the time for us to come out of the shadows, no more shall we hide from the world as those who claim to be our kin allow the mortals to destroy what is ours. No more will we stand idly by as they allow our noble blooded brothers to die in the mortals petty wars! Tonight on the blood moon we will take back what is ours, we will rise and conquer as the gods intended, tonight we will be unstoppable!”

 

As he finished his rousing speech those around the room in their dark flowing robes rejoiced and cheered. Each angel spreading their wings appreciatively as if applauding with them. It was truly a sickening sight to see the excitement and joy in their faces as they gazed upon an entity that craved loss of life and bloodshed of an entire race, and with their plans being so imminent I knew there would be very little time now for anything to stop them.   

There was only one last thing I could think of to try and take back what little control I could, I watched as he dismissed the room full of angels as they prepared to rally troupes I guessed were not privy to this ceremony and suit up for their coming battle.

 

By the end it was just me, him, Kelum, Terrance and Luther in the now empty room, the pool still as gelatinous and reeking as before though it lay still and calm now in the wake of Lucifer’s rebirth.

There were many mumbled things exchanged between those that were left and I struggled to try and listen as they stood away from where Kelum was pinning me to the floor. Eventually he dismissed them too as they bowed low and spilled sycophantic words to boost his overflowing ego further, Kelum taking his cue also hauled me to my feet to drag me no doubt back to my cell when Lucifer stopped him.

 

“Leave him, I wish to study this one further” there was that disgustingly amused tone again

 

Luther and the others tried to dissuade him from his task but he merely silenced them with one of those eerily crooked looks that reminded them clearly who was in charge. When Luther tried again in another one of his groveling little displays of servitude Lucifer snapped “Do you think me weak underling? Do you think the little Nephilim will regain control over Lucifer himself!” he beat his wings fiercely extinguishing all light in one swift move.

 

Plunged into darkness I was acutely aware of the tension building in the room around me, he seemed even more imposing when you couldn’t see him like something dark and slithering hiding where you couldn’t see.

I could more or less taste the fear hanging in the air around me, the many voices that chimed in whenever Lucifer spoke as if several badly tuned radios were on at once made my bones feel hollow and my blood run cold.

 

“n..no my lord of course not” Luther stammered betraying his own fear as his normally cool voice shook “I merely thought him not worthy of your time”

 

The candles reignited themselves then, throwing the room back into startling light and making everyone but the one who had extinguished them squint through watery eyes. “Only I decide what is and isn’t worth my time, now be gone from my sight before I decide YOU are not worth my time” his voice low and edged with danger.

Even though they all resisted the urge to run in front of their exalted master they still beat a hasty retreat, Terrance in particular looking as if he wasn’t too sure if this whole idea was a mistake after all.

Finally when we were alone he turned those black eyes on me for what felt like the hundredth time that evening, his watch unrelenting as he twisted his head this way and that like a creepy predator studying its prey.

 

“This body gravitates towards you. It is curious”

 

I stared straight back at him not wanting to appear weak, though his very existence unsettled me greatly. So much so in fact, I felt almost nauseous in his company.

“Love pulls people together” I told him finally

 

“As does war” I could hear the purr of satisfaction in his many voices

 

“But unlike war, love is gentle and kind” he frowned as he searched my face and I wondered if any of his past self was able to even process an emotion anymore, or if the darkness had taken him completely.

 

“Love is weakness, those who love others are destroyers whilst those who yearn to be loved will eventually be the ones destroyed. Think of all those who love a god who will not protect them, a god that gives them rules to live by”

 

“There are many ways to love, if there wasn’t you wouldn’t want to slaughter an entire species to avenge your fallen brothers. That in essence is love”

 

He twitched agitatedly as he absorbed my words “You misunderstand my intentions, child of god” his grin widened then

 

I thought back to everything my parents had taught us over the years, about the uprising and Lucifer and how he had been cast from heaven. I thought back to the bible studies we had been raised on so we could know how to serve man and god better and then it struck me, hard in the chest as the weight of realization kicked in and I realized I’d been looking at this wrong the entire time.

Lucifer had once said **_‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit on the mount of assembly on the heights of Zaphon; I will ascend to the tops of the clouds, I will make myself like the Most High.’_**

For years people had assumed that this statement meant that he would just simply raise up above heaven, but I could see now that that is not the case, when he talks of the stars he doesn’t mean in the night sky, he is referring to all the angels in heaven.

Simply put it was a statement that meant he would take over heaven, he would be god.

 

“You mean to subjugate all the angels in heaven and on earth don’t you? You’re just using them to help you kill all the unwanted complications like mortals and Nephilim”

 

His laugh was vile and it made my stomach squirm as he licked his lips slowly “you are just as intuitive as Eber, I knew you must have been his kin” he leant in to whisper in my ear and I stifled the urge to recoil “You were just a babe when I slaughtered him”

 

I wanted to cry out, wanted to slam my fist into that sickening grin and tell him that he was lying, that my father had died in a battle with mortals not by his devilish hands but deep down I couldn’t be sure.

He had recognized me when he saw me due to my family resemblance, mainly of course to my father so it would suggest that he had dealings with my father in some capacity, my mind was reeling under the weight of everything I was encountering right now.     

 

I did the only thing I could in that moment, the only thing that made sense to me like an involuntary action. Reaching down with my left hand I wound my fingers between his own, my other arm winding around his tiny waist to draw his body against me.

He did nothing to stop me he just stood there like a mannequin even when I brushed the now brown fringe out of his face “I know you’re in there little one. I know you told me to let you go but I can’t, I can’t believe that this is all there is. That there is only him now, he can feel you deep inside you just need to push through” I coaxed placing a kiss on his forehead.

 

His scent had changed no longer that earthy smell so reminiscent of fallen fall leaves and bonfires on chilly nights, but something bitter like bial or acid. His skin was cold and clammy like a corpse and as I stood there silently willing my precious little one to return to me with all his sultry moonlight and softness he reached a boney hand up to my face.

Without warning that strong, claw-like hand closed around my throat tightly cutting off my oxygen for a moment as he drew my face close to his, my hands clawing at his wrist in vein as I tried to make him release me.

 

“He’s no longer here, and your attempts to raise him from the embers of his own existence are futile” his face turned dark as if lit from beneath, features stretching out of shape revealing the evil within.

   

I kicked and thrashed around trying to get away from him, even opening my wings in an effort to soar away from him but he just held me in place firmly, my attempts as useless as if I were a butterfly in a human’s grasp.

All of the adrenaline burnt out of my body again as the world began to go hazy, the edges of my vision dark and cloudy due to the lack of oxygen. I could feel my body giving in and my last dying thought was to be mad at myself for not being strong enough even if it was an evil ancient energy killing me slowly right now.

 

Just as I was about to pass out I felt his grip loosen causing me to fall ungainly to my knees as I choked and gasped for breath. I blinked up at him through my water stung eyes to watch the confusion and trepidation appear on his face.

I noticed that one of his eyes had turned back to its normal deep chocolate whilst his skin started to glow a soft white as appose to the sickish yellow it had been just moments ago.  

He examined his hands as they began to glow like they were on fire and he beat his wings like a bird trying to get away from an unknown attacker, the tips of which had started to seep silver.

He growled low in his throat an unholy sound between terror and fury, limbs twitched and cracked as if he were merely a marionette on a set of strings all hinged joints and hollow shell.

 

“You do not control me! I am the morning star, I am the dark prince! You will submit to me inferior creature. This is my body” he roared digging his long nails into the man made flesh, though a moment later he howled in pain dropping to his own knees and hugging his own waist all grandeur and princely behavior gone.

 

My voice was raspy thanks to the choking I had received but it was still enough for me to try to get through to him “I am okay little one, but you must keep fighting him! I know you’re strong enough”

 

There was a moment where everything around me distorted; I could see the inner battle between the light and dark sides of the man before me waging on inside his fragile shell. The floor cracked beneath the heels of his palms when he slammed them down upon it, candles exploded from different places in the room while the pool of putrid mess shot up in the air hitting the ceiling and covering everything in a disgusting spray.

A hair raising noise like that of a warped air raid siren rang out from between his parted lips, a caged and savage beast fighting for survival and his place in this world, I tried to reach him but the sheer force of his cry became an invisible barrier that kept me at bay.     

 

And then it was silent again, the little light that remained in the room flickered weakly, the pool dripping from each surface it had touched while the room pieced itself back together.

Slowly Lucifer rose to his feet once more, eye back to black, skin yellowed and wings jet black. He raised his head in triumph wings shaking and nestling back into their usual position as he collected himself “He was simply not strong enough, I will allow you to continue to live as my prisoner but this shall be your only kindness” he informed me.

 

He moved rigidly to the door, leaving me alone for a few moments until the servants he had asked to collect me did just that. Returning me to my overly familiar cell I curled up in my little ones favorite place by the wall, shielded myself in a cocoon of my own wings and cried.

I mourned the loss of him, I mourned the loss of the warrior I use to be but most of all I imagined what it would be like to live in this awful place and see that hideous creature walking around inside my loved ones skin. In all my life I had never felt less like myself, and I had never felt more alone.  


	13. Incipiens Ad Finem (this is where it ends)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's been steaming towards this moment for a very long time, they just all didn't know it before. who will win out against the might of Lucifer? who can possibly survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support with this story you guys! it means the world :) this ones pretty dark so grab those pitchforks and tissues, it's about to go down!

_"I tell you something_   
_It's a double-edged sword you're giving_   
_And I can't see the truth in living_   
_When we hide behind a wall of fear_   
_And you don't see it_   
_It's a twisted dream you believe in_   
_And what's the use in pretending?_   
_Let's make the smoke and mirrors disappear"_

 

 

Time seemed to stretch on in an endless stream, I was aware of the sun rising steadily as it peeked its way through the dusty window, a keyhole of light as always in the oppressive cell.

I’d thought back over everything that had happened the night before, the loss welling up inside me every so often till it bubbled out from the corners of my eyes to fall softly at my feet. For the first time in a long time I prayed to a god I wasn’t even sure I believed in, I prayed for those who would be slaughtered for those who had lost their way and then for my precious little one who had been consumed by evil.

Finally when I was done, when my eyes had shed all they could spare and the feelings of failure and inadequacy faded I could feel the anger return to the pit of my stomach. Up until this all began I had never had need of such an emotion, I’d never really registered a time in my life when I had been angry not when my dad was killed nor when my brother had been an irritating younger sibling, I had simply never had a need for it before.

 

But now I had need for it, and I had reached a place within me that was resigned, that had started to build up the strength I needed in the face of overwhelming darkness and oppression.

I thought for a moment because I knew what I had to do, I had to get out of here and back to the front line so that I could put an end to Lucifer’s plan once and for all, even if that means having to kill the man I love.

However just as I was trying to formulate a plan on exactly how to escape a room that had a tiny high window I would no doubt not fit through, and a heavy metal door that was at least ten meters thick. I heard that same heavy metal door unlock and with a creaking cry from the ancient hinge it swung open omitting a beacon of light into the dark space I occupied.

 

I was about to fight whoever it was to seize my opportunity to escape back into the real world, I thought at first that it was Kelum come back to keep the promise he’d made me before the ceremony though to my relief it wasn’t Kelum, but Sauli followed closely by my brother Neil.

I blinked at this stupidly, fists still raised as they both ran towards me wrapping themselves around me like a barrier or familiar love and light as I slowly allowed myself to relax into their hold.

 

“Thank the god we finally found you!” Neil said placing a heavy hand on my shoulder, squeezing it as gently as he could manage for the time being

 

I didn’t say a word I just started at him mutely while Sauli flitted around me checking me over like a worried parent, once he was satisfied I was okay whatever he deemed that to be, he stilled himself.

 

“It took you long enough” I finally croaked trying to make light of a dark situation

 

Neil looked worried for a moment “we’ve been trying, but you didn’t exactly say where you were going with Terrance. So we had to trail him, and if it wasn’t for Sauli we wouldn’t have found their operations center” he spoke swiftly, a habit he has when he’s feeling guilty about something.

 

“I know brother, I’m just trying to defuse tension with ill attempted humor” I reassured him “but we need to move fast, Lucifer is back and he’s….” I couldn’t find the words and he seemed to notice

 

“It’s okay, Adam” he looked at Sauli and I saw them exchange a worried look between them “it’s already begun, we know what’s happened”

 

I blinked letting the weight settle into my stomach “And what is mother doing about it” my words sounded hollow even to my own ears, like I was talking into a tunnel

 

There was that look again before “All divisions of Archangel’s have been dispatched to earth to neutralize the threat, and the Seraphim’s are standing by to intervene when necessary”

 

“Intervene” I repeated “when they need to kill him” I confirmed and he nodded slowly

 

“It is how it has to be, Adam” he looked sadly at me as if he expected me to cry and shout or lash out at something, though when I didn’t he frowned.

 

In response I simply told him “I have made my peace with it, I have said my goodbyes to my love, Neil. He instructed me to stop him at all costs and that’s exactly what I plan to do, myself”

 

Sauli touched my arm softly then and I turned my face to him in surprise, completely forgetting that he was there for a moment “When the time comes Adam you may not be strong enough, and I wouldn’t blame you. You can’t kill the people you love, otherwise I’d have killed you a long time ago” he chuckled musically to indicate his own way of lightening the mood

 

I stroked his face reassuringly “I am sorry I ever doubted you my friend, but please don’t do me the same disservice. I know what needs to be done and” my voice wobbled briefly as I swallowed down the emotions that threatened to break through my steely resolve “it’s what he wanted, he never wanted to be a monster”

Both of them nodded in silent agreement at my words before Neil had to chime in with his correct knowing of the facts as usual “well, technically only an exhaulted can kill another exhaulted… so it would have to be the Seraphim who destroy him”

 

We all started to laugh then, and though the situation wasn’t particularly funny we needed the release of Neil being his usual pain in the ass self to cut through all this sadness and bitter tension of current events.

Once the laughter subsided Neil added “but in any case you need to eat, you need your strength if you’re going to join the battle”

 

“There isn’t time Neil”

 

He shook his head firmly “What good will you be to the others if you are weak from hunger? There will be plenty of battle left to have, the onslaught only started a couple hours ago”

 

I know he was trying to alleviate my fears but all it did was heighten them, I thought about all of our brothers and sisters fighting for our world and how they would end up paying the ultimate price for their love and devotion.

I can’t remember the specifics of how we left that awful place, my feet merely moved as directed until we were back out in the light. The sky was dusty and yellowed as though a massive dust cloud had enveloped the world, the sun red as crimson as it hung around the horizon.

I heard a muffled conversation between Sauil and Neil indicating that this is what the end of days looked like, though a barely registered the comment before they instructed me to fly with them as it is always faster.

 

We reached my penthouse quickly everything looking the same as it did the night I left for the archives. I went for a shower almost on autopilot as Sauli made me the food I didn’t really want, and Neil set about calling whoever he needed to in order to tell them I was alive and well.

I let the water cleanse me of all the sickness and darkness that had tried to latch onto me over the period of time I had been gone, washed clean was the skin Kelum had touched which I was thankful for however gone was the light touches and kisses of my little one and it made me overwhelmingly sad once more.

Once clean and dried I suited up in my battle gear stopping only to pick up a discarded crumpled T-shirt Tommy Joe had once worn so that I could breathe in his scent, the smell of it calming my frazzled nerves.

I ate the food in record time and washed it down with two large glasses of water as per Neil’s request before I stood up and turned to the two men before me. Sauli I noticed in my sudden clarity as my physical strength returned tenfold had changed into his own battle gear, his stubboness etched on his face as I eyed him worriedly

 

“Don’t start with me, Adam” he lifted his chin defiantly “I am coming with you, we need all fighters in this battle”

 

“But you are not a fighter Sauli, you are a negotiator and I can’t help but think it’s gone a little beyond that now!” I sighed knowing full well that he had made up his mind and wasn’t going to change it anytime soon.

 

I looked at Neil and he shrugged in typical Neil fashion “Hey, it’s nothing to do with me. Mom wants me to stay with the Seraphim council”

 

So I had to resign myself to the fact that Sauli would be joining the fray with me in the hopes that we could get moving quickly, the more we stood and argued about things the more people and Angels would be dying and I couldn’t have that on my conscience so I finally nodded sharply before going to leave.

It wasn’t hard to find where the divine ones battle was taking place, under that same crimson sky the sound of war rang out for all to hear. In the epicenter of the battle I could see the bodies of both mortals and angels strewn unceremoniously throughout the streets, cars were stopped in the middle of the road with their doors slung wide where their occupants had fled at the first sign of trouble whilst others were crashed and burning.

 

From the looks of things the divine had made it here well ahead of our forces and had already begun their reign of terror, mortals wouldn’t have known what had hit them until it was too late and even then how do you fight something that you not only believed to be a myth but also a creature of supposed protection.

I couldn’t see any Seraphim and assumed that they hadn’t made it here yet because of all the carnage, Seraphim were notorious for waiting until the Archangels had neutralized most of the threat before they stepped foot on earth.

Neil had peeled off at this point in order to find the Seraphim council and report back so I knew he would be safe, my brother was many things but he wasn’t a fighter in any way shape or form so I was relieved that he would be safe for now. Sauli and I meanwhile continued towards the epicenter of the war waging on in the hopes of finding Lucifer or any of the others from the divine ones hierarchy, we fought our way through pulling rogue angels off of mortals and their fellow angels alike.

 

We were caught up in a particularly violent skirmish, in which we were able to take down a couple divine ones and save a young family of mortals while we were at it. I didn’t relish the thought of killing my own kind but when it came to survival of the race we were sworn to protect I had to completely compartmentalize the situation and just get on with it.

I lost sight of Sauli at one point as he engaged with one of the bigger divine ones who was trying to smash one of our friends - Toby’s - head against the concrete repeatedly in an attempt to cave his skull in, Sauli to my surprise was able to render him incapacitated quicker than a man twice his size, before helping Toby to recover.

The divine ones troops were highly aggressive, bloodthirsty and ruthless as they showed no mercy against any of their opponents, they took pleasure in inflicting as much pain as they could to their victims. They tore at their victims throats, broke bones and severed wings as time progressed and I was both sickened and ashamed to call them my brothers and sisters.

 

Just as we were putting an end to another violent outbreak I could hear the unmistakable sound of Lucifer’s multi-tonal drone as he waded his way through the crowd, cutting down everything in his path like destructive force of nature.

He was preaching warped teachings from the bible in some misguided attempt to justify his actions in his own psychotic mind, I had never seen a twisted soul so strong and impenetrable and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up as goosebumps erupted over my freckled flesh.

Our fighters were falling back, being driven into retreat by their overwhelming numbers and brutality as we tried to recoup our losses and maintain what little of our forces we had left.

 

I knew that I had to get to him and quickly, before any more blood was shed but it seemed almost impossible as the ground cracked and the scorched sky hung above this terrible scene.

It was such a bizarre and unnatural sight that I could barely fathom it, pieces of debris floated ominously as if they were drawn to him, swept up in his supercharged presence like a supermassive black hole sucking life and objects to him.

I finally managed to break through the throng of people as I edge my way towards him, I hoped that somewhere deep inside that bodies flesh memory he would recall some ounce of love for me and still long enough for me to put an end to this. I wasn’t particularly bothered if he killed me, to be honest it would be a welcomed relief to finally be free of this crippling emotional pain, though I couldn’t focus too closely on that for now I just had to get the task done.

 

Finally emerging from the crowd as they backed away from his progress towards them, I was one Angel stood alone before him. This caught his attention as black eyes met my steely blue a smile quirked his twisted features as recognition and vulgar pleasure hung there and his steps halted.

I could hear the cracking of his limbs his bones jerking beneath the once smooth white skin, dark tongue darting out between rotting teeth to wet the peeling lips while the hiss of voices called forth from that corrupted form.

 

“Have you come to join me, my fearless warrior?” I wasn’t entirely sure if he meant it, but he looked as close to pleased by my appearance as someone so vile could. And it made me question if he had somehow began to think of me as his just as Tommy Joe had, almost as if he had contracted a virus from the living tissue of the previous occupant.

 

I had no other real plan and in this very moment when thinking back to our previous encounter I decided that this route, though new and repulsive to me could be what brought about his destruction if I could put my pride aside and force down the feelings of revulsion that is.  

             

“I have my lord” I called back adding a bow with both wings that made him chitter like a blushing female angel “I simply cannot live without you, regardless of the form you take I need to be yours” the words rolled out of me and whilst they were believable enough, they still made me sick

 

He flexed his wings that loping grin growing steadily wider reminding me of a python unhinging it jaw before it swallowed its prey “I have never laid with a man before” he looked intrigued “I have never had want of it, but if it is as consuming as the little Nephilim leads me to believe…” I must have frowned then when he looked at me because he tilted his head slightly to add “Yes, I can feel everything he felt, touched, tasted…” he was stood directly before me now and I had to fight the urge to recoil again.

 

His hand shot out and though I did not flinch at its sudden movement I was expecting him to deal me some kind of blow, to wound or weaken me perhaps so that I would be subservient to him, but he didn’t.

He was seeking flesh, a connection perhaps though I wasn’t entirely sure and when at first he couldn’t make contact through the dark armored fabric of my battle gear, he placed it on the side of my neck like a lover would and I exhaled a shaky breath.

 

“You will worship me, and in return I shall raise you above all the stars in heaven to be by my side” he mused darkly

 

“As long as you do not think this union wrong, my lord like so many of our brethren” I tried to be as accommodating to his sick fantasy as I could, tried to be that playfully shy boy like creature so he thought he still had power

“I do not believe as your god does, I am fond of sins of the flesh” he licked his lips hungrily and I swallowed the bile that rose from my stomach. I don’t think I could ever get hard again if it had to be for him but I had to bide my time and appear to be his companion for as long as possible until this was over.

 

“Then we shall sin together” I bowed my head as much as I could with his own right near mine.

 

He paused for a moment before running those long talons over my lips, perverted lust glinting in his soulless eyes “Then if you are good, I may allow your boy to come out and play with you” he purred wickedly

 

This was all the confirmation I needed, Tommy Joe still resided within him, even though he said he was gone, said he wasn’t strong enough it had all been a ruse to break me further.

My heart soared with the possibility though I couldn’t let it show on my face for fear of him reading my real reasons for trying to get close to him so instead I kept an even face as I said “You are all I need my lord, I’ve never laid with a god before” I echoed his previous statement in an attempt to bolster that massive ego of his.

 

Meanwhile I was adjusting my plan accordingly; maybe I could make him stop this carnage for now under some pretense of needing to worship him immediately. Maybe I’d tell him that he had achieved all he can for now and then we can take over the world once he is stronger, after all if he could access all of Tommy’s memories he’d know that he’d be stronger after sex, something of course I wasn’t wanting to do but if the idea lured him away so I could try and coax Tommy back to the surface I would.

 

“Then behold your god” he hissed leaning in to take my mouth with his but before he got a chance I felt something hot and wet splatter against my face, eyes closed it took me a few agonizingly slow moments to realize what was happening.

Once my eyes peeled open I placed my hand on the wet substance, allowing it to coat my fingers so I could draw my hand back and examine it further. It was dark and putrid, on any other occasion I would have wondered what it was but with a feeling like ice water hitting my stomach I realized it was blood, but it wasn’t mine.

When I finally looked up into his face I could see the swell of blood escaping from his mouth as it cascaded down his chin, dripping sickeningly onto the concrete street beneath us both. Glancing over his shoulder I could see the sight of my mother stood behind him, her gold armor glinting in the crimson light golden wings arched in a battle stance as she held the Seraph spear that she had driven through his heart.

 

She looked like a fearless Amazonian woman all tall and powerful mixed with breathtaking beauty, and under any normal circumstances I would have been proud of her for being the warrior I was always told she was, but today was not that day.

He stumbled forwards and just as I let out a scream of “NO MOTHER WAIT!! I CAN SAVE HIM!!!” she pulled her weapon back and brought the back end of the double ended spear around in a swift ‘thrwack’ which rang out against the crumbling ruins of the buildings around us and silenced everything around us.

 

At first I didn’t think it had done anything, I thought it had failed and I would be able to save him somehow as those eyes went from black to brown in an instant and he gazed at me with a mixture of fear and confusion.

I thought it had somehow dispelled the evil within him and made him come back to me, but then with a nightmarish reality I knew it hadn’t as the whites of his eyes turned blood red and bloody tears swept down his cheeks and with a final strangled “Adam” he slumped sideways head slipping from his shoulders as both parts came away from one another to land with a disgusting thud on the floor.

 

I heard the blood rushing in my ears as the whole world caved in on itself, I wasn’t aware I had been screaming at first until I felt arms upon me restraining my shaking body and holding me so I didn’t collapse to my knees underneath the weight of my grief.

I didn’t know who had hold of me as salty tears blinded my vision and I fought against my restrainer hard, I willed myself to stop screaming but the sound wouldn’t stop as if a siren of despair had been switched on inside me lungs and throat burning from the effort.

I felt the moment my heart broke, I felt it as if a thousand marbles had been emptied from a shattered jar, pouring themselves upon the cracked and broken floor just to add more broken things to this moment.

Before I had time to do anything else, to take stock of any other pain or emotions running through my body right now, everything turned black and I slipped into the abyss.    


	14. In the Mourning I'll rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is about time that Adam gets some answers, but will they be the answers he wants? and can he cope with the aftermath?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! this is a bit of a 'talky' chapter because I felt it's what was needed. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it is a little longer than I usually write for a chapter but I feel like it was needed :) here we go.....

_"Wanna scream out,_  
_No more hiding,_  
_Don't be afraid of what's inside!_  
_Gonna tell ya, you'll be alright,_  
_In the Aftermath!_  
  
_Anytime anybody pulls you down,_  
_Anytime anybody says you're not allowed,_  
_Just remember you are not alone,_  
_In the Aftermath!"_

 

I sat there in the overwhelmingly bright room of my mother’s office within the Seraphim council, everything was cream and finished in brass and copper tones which reflected the sun that streamed in from the large windows painfully.

How did she not get a headache, or blinded by the sight of it each day as she sat here and attended to her business I wondered. The contrast between where I had been for the past few weeks and here was incredulous and in a weird way it unsettled me just as the other had.

Everything was too extreme, either overwhelming light or sinister oppressive darkness, there seemed to be no neutral ground and the whole thing unnerved me in such a way it made me almost irritable.

She had summoned me here two weeks having passed since Lucifer’s battle on earth, and in truth this had been the first time I had left the comfort and familiarity of my bed. Better still if it hadn’t been for Sauli feeding and cleaning me over the past week I wouldn’t still be here, let alone able to attend my mother’s meeting.

 

I had shut the world out, I wanted none of it and yet the world kept coming whether I wanted it or not. I had visitors daily which made me long for the expansive silent nights so I could catalogue everything about Tommy Joe, so that I could recall every wonderful moment of his existence.

I’d even taken to molding the pillows in the bed, piling them up in some abstract art form of him so that I could hold them in my arms and drift away into a restless sleep by tricking my brain into thinking I was holding him again.

I tried to fool myself into believing I was fine, but loss and grief is a terrible thing and in return does terrible things to the person experiencing it. I thought I’d made my peace with it all, I thought I had said my goodbyes and everything from here on out would just magically return to normal like it was before he ever stepped foot into my life, but my body had other ideas.

 

I wasn’t eating enough for my metabolism and everything Sauli cooked was differently prepared to how Tommy would have done it, this immediately made me not want it which of course upset and infuriated Sauli in equal measure and I couldn’t blame him.

I was being picky because I was lost, I was wandering through this so called life with no real purpose or direction anymore and in turn was becoming some hollow shell. The weight dropped off me quicker than I could imagine and though I’d manage a few scraps of whatever I was force fed it wasn’t enough to keep me strong.

My wings had suffered also; there wasn’t a day that passed when a clump of feathers didn’t detach themselves from their quills leaving my wings sparse and broken looking. I felt the pang of guilt rising up in my chest as Sauli dismissed himself from the room so he could cry freely as he pretended to wash the dishes or clean the rest of my penthouse, his sobs muffled as he tried in vain to stifle them and stay strong.

 

He’d even gone as far as trying to love me back to life, climbing into bed naked with me one night his hands caressing me with gentle urgency, his soft mouth on my skin as if their touch could resuscitate me like the bolt from a defibrillator.

Though I turned away in response and tucked myself into a protective ball, a way of showing my unwillingness at his advances. He wasn’t mad at me for it, he was one of the most understanding people I knew and though I knew his eagerness was only because he had never stopped loving me even after our relationship had ended, it was unwanted none the less.

So he took to trying to hold me instead, though I always found a way to wriggle free from his grasp as I clung onto my pillow statue Tommy and buried my face into the makeshift crook of his neck. I heard him sigh in something close to sadness as the mattress shifted and he left me momentarily to wallow in my despair.

 

I snapped back to the present as I decided that not only was this office too bright but it was too sweet smelling, a curious thing to note in this moment but as I thought more about it I decided that it offended me greatly which didn’t really increase my desire to be here.

I was just in the middle of a discussion with myself as to whether or not I could possibly leave quickly and quietly without anyone knowing, perhaps even go down to earth and try to find Tommy Joe’s mother so I could feel close to him again. My mind even wandered into wondering if she had kept his room the same as it was before he was enslaved by angels, maybe it smelt like him still, maybe there were some relics of his past life I could see that would help alleviate this crippling pain inside of me.      

 

But my internal musings were cut short by the sudden appearance of my mother, her dark hair piled up in an elegant twist on top of her head, the dress she wore looking as if it were spun from pure gold mimicked the Grecian style of a goddess.

She carried herself with poise and dignity, indicative of her otherworldly status even as I tried, I couldn’t help but feel a prickle of annoyance at her consummate professional manner when I am her son, her own flesh and blood and yet she treated me like any other angel to visit this infuriatingly sweet smelling place.

Finally she seated herself at the copper desk before me her golden brown eyes meeting my blue ones steadily as she surveyed me. Her hands were clasped before her, betraying her own nerves as this was the first time we had come face to face since she had smote my love… though I had to remind myself quickly that he was actually Lucifer.

“Thank you for joining me today, Adam”

 

I looked away suddenly unable to meet her gaze “I didn’t really have a choice, did I” it wasn’t so much a question but a statement

 

“It is about time we had a talk about everything that has befallen us. I thought you’d like to know that Luther perished in the battle, Terrance and Kelum have been captured and are awaiting trial with a number of other Devine ones. There were heavy casualties on both sides” her tone was official and it irked me

 

“That’s nice, can I go now?” I asked monotonously

 

“Not yet” her features softened “how are you coping?”

 

I snorted in response “Trying to be my mother now Leila? It’s a little too late for that” I crossed my arms like a petulant child

 

“Neil warned me you would be angry with me”

 

“Oh yes, your favorite son” I rolled my eyes knowing full well that I was being dramatic and petty but I couldn’t stop the anger that flowed towards her as hard as I tried.

 

“He is not my favorite Adam, I love you both equally” she said it with exasperation as if I should have known that all along

 

“Equally? You sent me off to fight wars whilst he sat in a comfortable office, you sent me away mother! I am an abomination in your gods eyes! I desire to lay with men, I desire a world where Nephilim are not treated like filth. I am not Neil, I do not uphold your values, I am ashamed to be an angel”

 

She reached forward to touch my hand and I pulled it away from her viciously. She looked sad “You are an Archangel, Adam. You were born to be a fighter, Neil was not and you know that. In truth you remind me too much of your father, with those blue eyes and it made me sad because I loved him a great deal. I wrongly distanced myself from you, it’s true and I cannot apologize enough for it, but I did not relish sending you off to fight because the last person I loved that did that never came back”

 

Silence fell between us as my anger began to subside slowly, allowing her words to sink in I stayed silent until she decided to speak again “Parenting does not come with a handbook Adam, I’ve made mistakes granted but I have always tried to keep you safe. Even if you are very good at getting yourself into trouble just like your father”

 

My head shot up to stare at her incredulously “I fight for what is right! I fell in love and for once in my pitiful existence I was happy. It is not my fault that a secret organization of assholes made a secret clubhouse under your nose oh exalted one!” I used Tommy Joe’s description of the divine ones because I found it apt

 

She shifted in her seat “it wasn’t under my nose, I had knowledge of it all along Adam” she said quietly

 

I blinked dumbly for a few seconds “You knew?”

 

“That’s why we needed to talk, I felt that you needed an explanation. I never imagined you would get yourself caught up in all this, so it was a strictly need to know basis.”

 

I waited for her to adjust herself as I could tell she was gearing up for a very long revelation and by way of encouragement as she had piqued my interest I decided not to interrupt her.  

 

“When Lucifer’s uprising had occurred the first time there had been warning signs. Angels going missing, a large number of Nephilim being syphoned away without warning or reason and general murmurings of discontent.

 

Back then we tried to infiltrate his circle, so your father along with another two Archangels went undercover… they managed to get the information to the council in time and we got the upper hand. But your father paid with his life at Lucifer’s hands” she paused to gather her emotions at the painful memory.

 

“We didn’t tell you and your brother how he died because we didn’t want you seeking out things you had no business getting mixed up in” she shot me a poignant look over the desk before resuming “I always knew that wouldn’t be the end of it, and I was right. After checking the Seraphim records I discovered it was possible for Lucifer to take physical form again, if the right vessel was found though I had no idea it would be a Nephilim.

 

A few of his loyal followers had managed to evade capture, and seeing as we didn’t have a comprehensive list of just who those Angels were I knew it wouldn’t be long before the snakes came out to sing again.

I was the one who sent Sauli to work with Luther, because I never trusted him. he was always so vocal at the Seraphim council meetings and the only reason we entertained him at all was to gain an understanding as to why he was so adamant on being there when he wasn’t a Seraphim. Though it would transpire that he had some Seraphim sympathizers, all of which have been arrested for treason so they are no longer on the council.

 

I knew that Kelum had a Nephilim brother though I didn’t know his name, but their father was a powerful Seraphim by the name of Ramiel”

 

A look of shock escaped my careful control “But, Seraphim’s never travel down to earth! Let alone sire children with mortals. It is forbidden”

 

She nodded paitently “You are right, but much like yourself there are some among us who are different. Who yearn for different things”

 

“So that’s why Tommy Joe was so strong? That’s why he possessed powers beyond a normal Nephilim, because he was part Seraphim?”

 

“I believe so. At first I thought it was Kelum as he is the product of a Seraphim and an Archangel the same as you, and I am sure Luther tried with him which is why Kelum more than likely gave Thomas’ name up for sacrifice” I flinched at that and she cleared her throat awkwardly

 

“The truth is we were never searching for a Nephilim so he slipped through our fingers. And once we discovered what their plan was I had two very important decisions to make, decisions which would cost me greatly no matter what I chose.

 

I could have tried to save him and in doing so forced them to go underground and retry their efforts away from prying eyes which would have left us vulnerable. Or I could let it play out and dispatch Lucifer once and for all…”

 

“So you chose him as a lamb to slaughter!” I shouted not realizing I had raised my voice until I saw my mother’s eyebrows knit together in concern

 

“I have a whole race to think about Adam, you know as champions of god we have to think about the bigger picture. Would you have a whole race wiped out for one individual?”

 

“I WOULD HAVE DIED FOR HIM!!!” I stood up sharply as white hot rage flooded my usually numb body, fists clenching at my sides

 

“You are being selfish, and you know it” her calm voice cut my escalating temper in half quickly “Sit down, Adam” she commanded simply and I complied much to my own annoyance

 

“I didn’t realize when I picked him out for you that you would take such a liking to him. I thought he would simply be some stress relief for you. And yes, I said I picked him out for you… with a little help from Sutan. Don’t look at me like that, I may be a Seraphim but I am also your mother and I’ve known that you are gay from the beginning” she sighed heavily

 

“So I made the decision to break my eldest son’s heart in the hopes of saving the lives of thousands. And though I know that you will never forgive me I still believe that it was the right thing to do” she looked down at her clasped hands thoughtfully

 

I let her words wash over me, sinking into my spongy brain as I tried to process them. She had picked him for me? She had always known and I cursed myself for ever thinking that I could have hidden this from her, any of this.

But then came the other intrusive thoughts, the dark ones where I realized that she had known from the moment he was taken what would happen to him, and she allowed it anyway. She allowed him to go through the most horrendous pain imaginable for what she deemed to be a greater cause.

She was right when she said that I couldn’t forgive her, even though I knew deep down it was selfish because Angels were meant to be sacrificing when it came to the survival of a race but I had done my fair share of sacrificing and I couldn’t bare for him to be another one.

 

We sat in silence for a while as we both mulled things over in our own way, I could see her looking at me properly for the first time since I had come here and I could see the concern in her eyes.

I was a shadow of who I use to be and I knew it, I hated how quickly I had given in to the overwhelming despair and yet I had no desire to do anything about it. I was waiting for someone to tell me it was all going to be alright, that the pain would fade in time and I could carry on the way I had before I’d met him, but they didn’t.

Maybe they cared about me too much to give me false hope, because once your heart had been touched by another, truly touched there was no healing there was no magic elixir that could make it all go away.

 

I chose to be honest with my mother for the first time in a very long time because I really had nothing left to lose “I don’t know how to survive without him, Mother” I swallowed hard “I don’t think I even want to try, because I know I’ll just fall right back into that miserable existence of going through the motions like I did before”

 

“I know, which is why I called you here”

 

“So you can tell me to pull myself together?” I hazarded a guess as I was sure it was coming

 

“No. I know it isn’t that easy when you lose someone you love” that look of sadness crossed her face again “do you know how many people told me that I had to dry my eyes and carry on after your father died? Because I was a Seraphim it was just expected for me to be perfect regardless of what I was going through as a person.

 

No Adam, I wouldn’t do that to you but if you have even the slightest chance to be happy then I will do all I can to ensure that happens. And so myself and the council have decided that in light of your transgressions you cannot remain an Archangel, we cannot break the ten commandments handed down by god.

However, due to your excellent service over the years and the fact your mother is who she is we have decided to cast you out. You will live as a mortal on earth, and may only return to heaven should you earn a place there once your life is complete.”

 

I gasped my eyes going wide in shock and horror, I thought I’d be told to buck up and carry on not been punished for something when I am already hurting so much already. I started sobbing before I could even stop myself “But how will that make me happy? You are casting me out when I am barely able to function right now!”

 

She leant forward suddenly placing her hands on my own as I blinked through the fat tears that broke free to roll down my flushed cheeks “listen to me Adam. When looking through the Seraphim records whilst researching Lucifer’s foretold return, I discovered that it is possible to restore those who have been lost if they were an innocent.

You will be cast out BUT we will resurrect Thomas as he was an innocent party in this, he will reside down on earth but he will have no memory of who he was or who you were in his former life.

You will have to find him and win him on your own but it is still a chance to be happy, to have a life you have always dreamed of if you are brave enough to seek it” she said gently.

 

I stifled my sobs “He’ll be alive?”

 

“Yes, but you have to do the rest. We cannot make things perfect but if love truly exists there then it should be possible, I’m not saying you’ll find him straight away it could take years but anything is possible”

 

“Will I remember everything?”

 

“Fallen angels always remember their past lives, I do not recommend you try and inform him of any of that if you meet him again. You may look… well… crazy to a mortal” she quirked a small smile

 

My head began to spin, heart pounding with the idea that this could actually be a possibility. I even pinched myself instinctively to make sure it wasn’t just a beautiful dream to turn dramatically into a nightmare but it wasn’t, and I started to cry again much to my own annoyance.

 

“But that means I’ll never see you or Neil again? Or Sutan, Isaac… Sauli…” I trailed off when I realized that I’d never see my Sauli ever again and my heart started to sink again at the realization of it all

 

She nodded solemnly “I am afraid so… the existence of angels cannot be revealed to any mortals, so they will not be able to interfere in your mortal life, and you cannot return to anywhere angels reside”

 

“Do I have a chance to say goodbye?”

 

“Normally that is not allowed, but as you are my son and I love you… and both Sutan and Neil will hate me till the end of all time. We will allow it”

 

“How will I live?” I had so many questions as the idea of it all rolled around inside my brain, I was excited of course because it meant that I had a chance to be with the one person I had loved irrevocably but of course that carried its own price of me having to leave behind everything I’d ever known and loved.       

I had no idea how mortals lived or what they did, how they survived and kept themselves going. What if I were just discarded in the middle of a foreign place? With nothing but the clothes on my back and a hope for another life. How do mortals interact with one another without violence, how do they acquire places to live and jobs to work? It was all very overwhelming and I am sure my mother could see every thought written across my face as plain as day.

 

“You will be provided for with a place to live and the tools you’ll need to live in the mortal world. You will have to work for it, and find yourself a means of income but you will be comfortable if you are wise”

I nodded slowly “Okay, Thank you for your fair judgement mother” I tried not to get choked up, it had been a very emotional and heavy day and even though I had hope for the future I also had fears.

I knew one thing for certain, not many angels get this kind of second chance and whilst it would be a bittersweet situation I knew it was for the best. Not because how I was is wrong in the eyes of our lord and all my fellow angels but because I needed to finally be myself, and be confident and accepted for who I truly am without judgement.

 

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and imagined every curve of my loves body, every smell and every taste as a vision of him lingered there. And in that moment of quiet calm I was determined, I was going to find him and I wasn’t going to stop until I could hold him in my arms again.


	15. The Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling to earth is never an easy thing to do, but Adam has a purpose... will his determination to find his lost love be enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for keeping up with this story, I am kind of sad that it is coming to an end BUT all good things must end at some point right?! I will still continue to write stories so fear not! 
> 
> Now I know this has taken a little while to get out for you all, but I wanted to do this story justice and not rush it so it's double the length of my normal chapters (Nomal = 3000 words.... this chapter = 6293 words....) So I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I felt it was important for Adam to adapt to his 'new life' so you'll notice his language changes on occasion, it's less 'divine' and more 'human' of that makes sense? anyway on with the show!

_"I had a vision that the colours had bled away_  
 _and I had nothing to follow_  
 _Was in a prison and my life was stuck on replay_  
 _And all my wishes were hollow_  
  
_You were a beam of light_  
 _Lit up my broken sky_  
 _There was just something about you_  
 _I had a vision and it painted the world for me_  
 _And now I'm laying beside you_  
  
_I don't need to wander any more_  
 _I have found what I've been looking for_  
 _I don't need a map to know the way_  
 _I don't need a map to tell me where I'm at"_

 

 

Falling from heaven is a curious thing, almost as easy as falling asleep and yet completely different all at the same time. I’d never really given much thought to how we are born, the pain of our mothers who bare us or the expansive nature of it all.

No baby is ever aware of leaving the womb they just simply exist and begin to live, but being reborn as an adult is a completely different experience, because you are aware and you yourself feel the pain of birth.

I had been brought before the council, my crimes read out for all to hear as the murmurs filled the room and cautious eyes looked away, ashamed of what I was and what I had done.

I wasn’t particularly aware of any one thing in that moment as my mother’s warm tones filled the room and washed over me as they made their way to the onlookers ears, I think some were sad but I could not lift my head to see it, I could feel it hanging in the air though.

 

Once the sentence was handed down it was swift, something I was thankful for, I had said my goodbyes and I had wept with each one in turn as they promised to see me again someday.

Sauli had taken it the hardest, even offering to fall with me though I declined his sacrifice on my account, he had more to do he had a purpose in this large world and I would not let him forsake it for me.

My brother’s heart had been heavy as I hugged him goodbye and kissed my baby Nephew for the final time, my heart aching to think that he would never know who I was and that I would never see him grow.

Those two days were like a mourning process for a life that was coming to an end and though I knew that I would be beginning again, that I could find happiness and forge a path of my own design I was scared.

 

We had feasted also, we had laughed and shared stories of time gone by which had helped to ease this new pain I felt, different from the pain of loss and longing I had for my little Nephilim but not any less painful.

The memories of these days encased me in warm love and light as I prayed to the god I still wasn’t sure I believed in that one day we would all find each other again, and that I would return here at the end of my days to join them once more.

 

I felt the swiftness of the guards seraph blade as it severed my wings, it was not uncomfortable but I could feel all of my strength and Angel abilities flow out of me like an open wound pouring blood.

As it spilt forth so did the feeling of overwhelming sadness and terrible fear as if an umbilical cord had been cut away, all safety gone as I was cast adrift from my mother like a new born child.

I didn’t hear the Latin prayers they read for the final step of my expulsion from my home, I simply closed my eyes like sleep cascading down upon my heavy lids and then I was falling.

 

When I awoke I was in a rundown apartment in the middle of Los Angeles, I had nothing but the clothes on my back and a small amount of money to get by for the first six months of my new life.

So I did what I had to in order to get by, I worked jobs that I didn’t enjoy just to put food on my table and a roof over my head, I learned to drive a car and brought a beat up old rattler to get me to my jobs.

I faced adversity and hardships when my apartment was broken into and my belongings stolen, I was mugged one night leaving work and I had my car impounded which really was the icing on the proverbial cake, but still I endured because I knew there was a reason for it all.

 

I understood, once I lived among them, why mortals were the way they were it had once been easy for me to judge their behaviour because I had always had things handed to me.

I was the child of a high Seraphim so I was afforded every luxury in my past life, even though I worked as an Archangel warrior it was nothing like a ‘real job’ it was just simply what I was made to do, so I didn’t have the same responsibilities as I did now.

Food was always in my penthouse, the penthouse I never paid for or had to pay anything for. I never knew what a bill was or how to pay one until I became mortal and the whole gravity of the situation was overwhelming and frightening when you are alone, so I finally understood.

 

Through it all I never stopped looking for him, in every person that I met but I had yet to find him, I didn’t even know if he’d have the same name or if he’d look like himself but I kept looking none the less.

I made friends over the years, kids from the club scene who were different like me in turn these friends nurtured me and taught me how to live though they didn’t know it. They taught me that life was too short to be something I wasn’t and I secretly thanked them for it.

A few years passed and I went from working jobs as janitors and waiters into doing something I loved, the theatre added yet another layer to my new complicated life and showed me that I could actually enjoy what I did for a living which thrilled me.

Before long I found myself working in several musicals as the lead and I had managed to ecru enough money to move into a slightly bigger apartment in a better side of town, though I wasn’t wealthy I was thriving more than I thought possible and I loved taking to the stage every night to sing.

 

Now I won’t be dishonest here and say that I never had lovers because that is not in my nature, like any other mortal I knew sometimes it was nice to have the warmth of another body in your bed on those lonely nights. I had feelings for some of them, the ones I actually dated of course but they never really seemed to pan out and I think it was because my heart was always searching for my Tommy.

As terrible as it sounds I think I was subconsciously using these relationships as practice, like I was somehow trying to teach myself how to love someone as a mortal man rather than what I once was. After all prior to Tommy Joe I had only ever had one relationship in my previous life, not being able to be open and honest about who I was and who I wanted or indeed _was_ dating it meant I really wasn’t experienced and wanted to be ready for when the time was right and we would meet again.     

 

A few more years passed and I was still no closer to my ultimate goal, but my life was picking up speed in an altogether exciting and alarming way. My friends had pushed me into auditioning for some singing show on the television which seemed to be what mortals did, I had obliged them because I had nothing better to do at the time what with the theatre work slowing down and my constant need to progress itching unpleasantly.

I worked hard and in the end managed to come in second place in the competition, which had resulted in me being catapulted into a life of fame and fortune and put me on the map. I had released my first album a lot of the songs being written to the feelings I had stored away and stemmed from my love for Tommy and my new found freedom as well as some pent up frustrations but it was cathartic.

I had even worked with a well-known English rock band who I had come to love for not only their music, but the charming people they were. We worked well and ended up working together many times as they year’s ground on, I was lucky enough to call them friends also.

 

Then came the second album, which had done as well as the first and TV appearances, hosting shows and acting in some myself everything keeping me very busy but I welcomed the distraction.

I’d toured the world as both myself and as a frontman for the aforementioned rock band, but still I never found him and I began to wonder morbidly if the Seraphim had made his reincarnation up so that I would go willingly and not cause a scene when they outcast me. They were my darker times but I always pushed through them, because I never wanted to be that person I only ever wanted love and light in the world.

Soon it came time for a third album and I was back in the studio with much more confidence in who I was as this new mortal recording artist, I flew to Sweden and recorded a majority of the track there loving the solitude of it all.

I planned to finish the remainder of it back in Los Angeles, but a few problems arose during the finishing of it with certain members of the band not being able to complete their sessions, so the recording company had to call upon session musicians which I wasn’t too comfortable with but I had to just carry on.

I had already sent home the drum session musician as I didn’t catch a good vibe from him, the session guitarist was still drunk from the night before and I was sure the second guitarist had an issue with an openly gay man such as myself so I was at my wits end by the time the session ended.

I was also in the process of moving to a new house, the house of my dreams actually as I was finally at a place in my life where I could afford a big house with a pool and a cinema, I’d worked hard after all.

 

Trying to rectify the problems with the album and oversee everything I needed to where the house was concerned was proving challenging, I was constantly exhausted something I definitely hadn’t been use to when I was an Angel but I just did my level best to continue.

I arrived at the studio one morning, to be informed by my producer that they had managed to find another session guitarist on short notice that would hopefully be arriving soon. Even though I was grateful to just keep moving with the album, I did have some trepidation about working with someone I didn’t know because this album, like everything I poured myself into was important to me.

We sat out on the front steps of the studio, soaking up the LA sun as we waited for the musician to arrive, it was one of those moments where you just sat back and watched the world go by and revelled in it.

 

Sure enough before too long a figure appeared in the distance with a beat up old guitar case slung over his shoulder and another in his hand as he awkwardly walked towards us.

He made it about halfway up the path when the lock on the old case in his hand broke and dumped his guitar out on the shingle with a pitiful clunk, he swore under his breath and as he tried to retrieve it from the ground the weight of the case on his back over balanced him and sent him sprawling sideways into the hedge where he disappeared from sight.

It was really all very awkward and embarrassing for the poor guy and as the producer sat laughing on the steps I thought it only right to go and make sure he was okay, because after all that’s what I’d want someone to do if I had just made an ass of myself in front of people.

 

I managed to retrieve his guitar which had stone chips bitten into the paintwork and leant it against the hedge, I peered through the hole where I assumed he had disappeared to be greeted with a pair of creepers sticking out, though I never understood why people wore those ugly shoes.

I called out and asked if he was okay before sticking my hand out in way of offering him help, he mumbled something I couldn’t quite hear but a couple of seconds later a hand sporting black nail polish gripped my hand and a bolt of lightning struck me almost causing me to become light headed.

When I finally fished him out, something which took a lot of tugging as his other case had gotten stuck pinning him in place, I was face to face with a slim blonde haired man with beautiful brown eyes lined with kohl. His skin was pale and his lips were plump and pink and as our eyes met I couldn’t help the strangled whisper that escaped my airless lungs.

 

“Tommy Joe?”

 

He blinked a couple times in the sudden sunlight as his eyes focused on me for the first time “Yeah, I just go by Tommy actually. But I guess you’ve read my employment records the agency sent over?” his voice was just as beautiful as I remembered, but he seemed awkward in this life shrugging self deprecatingly

 

I chuckled nervously “yeah, I like the whole double barrel thing. It’s unusual” I tore my eyes away, heart thumping as I hurriedly put his fallen instrument back into its now broken case.

 

“Are you Max?” he asked timidly as we started walking towards the studio

 

“No, I am Adam”

 

He walked clumsily beside me staggering on the shingles slightly in his silly shoes, but it was adorable and I couldn’t help but feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes as I realised I had found him… or he had found me either one.

“Ah okay so, you’re the artist” he was trying to make small talk but it was all so awkward and not at all what I had expected from our first meeting and it was throwing me off kilter slightly.

 

Over the next month or so we had managed to form some kind of friendship, talking about astrology and music and films as if we had known each other our whole lives. There were so many times I wanted to tell him about our other life, wanted to grab him and kiss him senseless as he plucked expertly at his guitar but I stopped myself.

We began again and it was nice to hear everything so completely and unashamed from a man who wasn’t subjugated and hadn’t been treated like a mistake his whole life. He laughed and played around and it wasn’t long before we were telling jokes and stories to one another over late night sessions in the studio as we created together.

The only seemingly different thing about this new Tommy Joe however was that he identified as heterosexual, he had a girlfriend as it turned out and it made my heart sink to think about him holding her at night instead of me holding him, but I had to accept it because at least he was in my life in some capacity.

 

One night I was at home getting ready for the album launch party, which typically begins the night before for me as I have a rigorous beauty routine and then I have to pick my outfit out and just get into the spirit of things, when I received a call from Tommy.

I’d added him to my band as the guitarist I originally had couldn’t accommodate the upcoming touring schedule, but he had never played in front of record executives or other famous artists and I could tell he was nervous and needing some reassurance so I invited him over.

He arrived around 7pm all nervous energy and those ever present damn creepers, settling himself into the couch in the living room he watched me quietly as I laid out several possible outfit ideas for the following night.

 

“Do I have to look, fancy?” he asked eyes wide as they fell on a particularly tight pair of gold leather pants

 

“It would be nice if you wore anything other than a hoodie and a pair of jeans” I mused absently not turning to look at him

 

“I’m just the guitarist” he shrugged

 

“You are part of the band and if you don’t look like it you’ll ruin my whole aesthetic. Anyway what are your thoughts on this red PVC tunic? Too much?” I asked holding the item up for inspection

 

He snorted in disgust “You’d look like a some sort of dominatrix dentist bro”

 

I quirked an eyebrow “Maybe that’s the look I am going for, ever thought about that?”

 

He scrunched his nose up and laughed mirthfully “Then by all means dude, you nailed it” he made a sweeping gesture with his hand as his beautiful laugh filled the room

 

Silence fell for a few short moments as I settled on a pair of black baggy bondage trousers, holographic vest and camo bomber jacket “I could turn it around and go super 90s casual… they wouldn’t expect that direction”

 

“I don’t know why clothes matter to you so much, as long as it’s clean and comfortable it’ll do” he scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully

 

“Where I come from I could never wear anything like this” I indicated the outfits in front of me that ranged from subtle to downright bizarre “I love that I get to exercise my right to be who I am and wear what I like without prejudice” I said simply

 

He shifted in his seat “San Diego? The home of weird conventions, where people believe they are star trek characters?” I could hear the utter disbelief in his voice and it made me smirk, I hadn’t really researched my fictitious place of birth an error on my part

 

When I didn’t answer him he came to stand next to me, puffing out a sigh which sounded like he didn’t know where to start, like the whole thing was mind boggling. He surveyed the array of clothing and after a few tentative minutes of silence he spoke again “How about you wear the leather cargo pants with a black V neck Tee and that tailored black silk lapelled blazer? That way it’s a mixture of super chill and kinda dressy”

 

He blushed when I turned to look at him “good call, see you are good at this” I replied laying the outfit he’d selected out on the large table I was stood at.

 

He shrugged his slim shoulders “Nah, I was just sick and tired of you taking your goddamn time”

 

I shoved him playfully in the shoulder and he giggled in that way that made my groin tingle and sent a shiver down my spine “You should start picking outfits out for your girl, maybe that way she’d be on time for things” it was a shady remark and I knew it, but I didn’t much like Tommy’s girlfriend, not just because I was jealous but because she was a complete and utter bitch who treated him poorly.

 

“Yeah, well I don’t think that’ll be a problem anymore seeing as she dumped me last night” he said it so casually I was caught off guard

 

“Oh right? Well I am sure you’ll win her back, you always do” this was true, I’d never known someone so on and off like Tommy and this girl - I never gave her the respect of using her name – so I knew he’d go running back to her as always against everyone’s advice.

 

“I don’t think I want to” he said with more strength in his voice than I’d ever heard him use in this life

I made sure I was turned away from him as I smirked “I better try this outfit on, seeing as you’ve picked it out” I said pulling my T-shirt over my head and tossing it on the side before grabbing the other v neck “Maybe in that case you need a good guy next” I made sure my tone was teasing as I put my arms into the new shirt.

 

Before I could pull the top up over my head I felt a pair of warm hands press against my shoulder blades, firm but gentle. It startled me so much I jumped and my breath hitched as I heard his soft voice near my shoulder “What are these marks? I don’t remember seeing these before”

 

I knew instantly what he was referring to, the day I had my wings cut from my body it left little stumps where my wing joints had been. Over time they had dried up and fallen off much like the stump of an umbilical cord, but in their absence they had left little dark scars where they’d once been.

“Just birth marks” I swallowed hard as his hands still lingered on my skin and I closed my eyes to stop myself from losing it from the sudden unexpected contact

 

“Huh, weird they’re kinda perfectly placed like matching ink blots on pale skin” he mused. A second later I felt his lips against the mark on my left shoulder and it made me jump, my cock suddenly waking up.

 

“What are you doing!?” I asked spinning around quickly as my mind swam to face a wide eyed frightened looking Tommy

 

“I’m sorry! I don’t know what happened I just had the urge to… I’m sorry” he said again before turning to walk away, his embarrassment radiating off of him in waves              

 

Without thinking I reached out lightning quick to grab his small wrist as he tried to leave, he jolted from the sudden anchor of my weight against his frame in motion as if a bungie cord had snapped to attention.

 

“Don’t, please let me go” he begged pulling desperately against me

 

“No”

 

He clawed at my large hand encircling his narrow wrist “Adam, please”

 

“No” I repeated pulling him effortlessly towards me until I could slink my free arm around his waist to hold him against me. He struggled for a moment as I held him “be still little one” I whispered and to my surprise his little body stilled.

After a while he raised his head, those brown eyes gazing up at me from under those long dark lashes, his cheeks flushed with a mixture of effort and embarrassment.

“What’s going on Tommy Joe?” I asked him staring into those deep brown orbs. I knew, or at least I hoped I knew what was going on because I could feel his bodies reaction plain as day against my own hard dick

 

“Why are you so pretty?” it came out like an anguished sob, like a desperate man trying to resist his addiction and I couldn’t help but feel every nerve inside me light up as if he’d pushed my ‘on’ switch.

 

I removed my hand from his wrist then to run it through his hair until it settled at the nape of his neck to fist in those blonde locks, he let out a breathy half moan half sigh as his eyes slipped closed.

I leant close to his face lowering my voice in a sultry and seductive way “Where is this coming from Tommy Joe?”

 

He didn’t open his eyes “it’s like somethings calling me, from the moment we met I’ve felt drawn to you and I don’t know how or why” his voice was quiet and shaky “it frightens me”

 

“Why?” it was a simple enough question

 

“Because I’ve never wanted a… man… before” he swallowed hard tongue darting out to lick his dry lips

 

“Your body knows what it wants Tommy Joe, maybe for once you should trust your instincts instead of your head” without giving him time to answer I pressed my lips to his feeling the sigh that escaped them, it didn’t take long for him to open his mouth to allow my tongue entry as I started to kiss him slow and dirty.

 

His now free hands moved gently reaching up to grip at my arms and shoulders as he deepened the kiss, my thigh moved in between his parted legs to grind slowly against his aching erection causing his nails to bite into my flesh.

When we broke the kiss we were both panting for air, heads light and dizzy as we swayed in place anchored there by one another. He stepped back suddenly and I whined at the loss of contact, worried for a moment that I had pushed him too far.

 

“I need to touch you” he announced biting his bottom lip dazedly

 

“Not yet” I said closing the distance between us to grab the hem of his pet cemetery T-shirt, pulling it up and over his head swiftly I discarded it on the floor before my hands went to his belt “I want you naked” I mumbled popping the button on his straining jeans as he reciprocated with my own trousers.

 

Working in tandem we stripped each other in silence like a couple of hungry teenagers, our end goal very clear. He hesitated slightly as he reached out to touch the bulge in my boxers, so I grabbed his hand and placed it there my hand guiding his as his breathing quickened.

 

“I want this” he said coyly eyes meeting mine in a lustful gaze

 

Everything was so tentative and slow, but I didn’t mind at all as I wanted to teach him, I wanted him to remember somewhere in the darkest recesses of his rebooted mind what my body felt like almost like a flesh memory.

I removed my hand from his and he continued to massage me through my boxers, confidence building with every passing second until he hooked a finger into the waistband of the thin fabric to pull them away from my heated body.

My hard cock sprang free from its restraint just before he wrapped his hand around the base of my shaft to start a slow jacking movement which caused me to moan unashamedly. My mouth crashed to his for a moment before I pulled away to lick a hot wet stripe from his collarbone to his jaw.

 

“Need more” I informed him grabbing his hand to stop him jacking me off because I didn’t want to come yet, I wanted to come inside him. I took him over to the wall kissing him softly with as much passion as I could just to make sure he knew how much I wanted him because I think my sudden halting of his activity had thrown him off.

I spun him around quickly “put your palms on the wall, and spread your legs” he shivered with anticipation as he did as he was told. I moved his hips back slightly so his back sloped and that beautiful backside stuck out.

 

Kneeling behind him I pulled his boxers to the ground making him step out of them carefully, another piece of discarded clothing. I ran my hands up and down his thighs, over the swell of his ass cheeks and his abdomen as he sighed want echoing in the simple sound.

I began to kiss a wet trail up the backs of his thighs hands on his hips as I reached his ass cheeks kissing and nipping each in turn as he squeaked in response. Sticking two fingers in my mouth I coated them liberally in saliva, hands parting his cheeks so I could press one finger to his tight little hole rubbing it teasingly a few times until he called out “Adam” it was pleading and needy and it made my cock twitch longingly.

“Do you want this?” I asked throatily

 

“Yes” he ground out through clenched teeth as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

 

I pushed my finger past that tight little band of muscle, his body tensing and relaxing as he let out the most dirty guttural moan, as my hand palmed my own wet tip.

Once he had adjusted to the intrusion I added another finger, curling and twisting it as I pumped it in and out of him working open that delicious tight hole. After a little while I inserted a third into him causing him to whimper and grab for his own neglected cock, I slapped his ass cheek lightly “Don’t touch, put your hands back on the wall Tommy Joe or I’ll stop everything” he swore and whined in response but complied.

 

I took my time finger fucking him wide open as he moaned and squirmed against my hand, when I removed my fingers he growled angrily and I smiled at his annoyance.

I watched for a second as his hole twitched the muscles fighting the stimulation before I leant forward to press my tongue into his waiting hole, dipping and lapping at the tight muscles as he writhed and moaned a mixture of my name and filthy expletives.

 

“Adam, Stop! I need to… I need you to… urgh!! I want you inside me!” his voice was strained and anguished as he groped behind him to feel where I was.

 

“I don’t have any condoms here, I’ll have to go….”

 

“NO! I DON’T FUCKING CARE!!!” he roared his voice cracking as his body shook violently with adrenaline and need “YOU HAVE TO FUCK ME NOW, I’M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND!!”

 

I laughed standing up to kiss the small of his back gently, which was apparently the wrong thing to do because it made his even more mad as he spun around to face me indignantly “it’s not funny!”

 

He went to grab my cock and I batted his hand away “I know it’s not I am sorry, turn around please otherwise I have to prepare you again and that’ll take more time” he huffed and clenched his jaw, it was actually very adorable but I didn’t dare tell him this.

 

He turned back around with his hands back against the wall, I stood behind him gathering the pre-come from the tip of my throbbing cock to act as lubricant as I knew he wouldn’t wait for me to go and get any.

I stroked myself gently in an almost lazy fashion as my other hand went to his hip, I rubbed my slick tip against his entrance eliciting exquisite moans from him as I asked “Do you want my big cock in your tight ass?” as I’d really gotten into the whole dirty talk thing since being mortal.

 

“Fill me up and fuck me hard and dirty” he panted trying to push back onto me, this man will be the death of me…. Again….

 

I pushed into him with a slow and filthy grind that made us both chant “Fuuuuuck” at the same time as I bottomed out. Once he was adjusted to the intrusive feeling he’d never felt –in this life- my hands went to his hips to steady us both as I began to pound into him.

I started at half speed making sure I wasn’t hitting that sweet spot just yet as I wanted him to just feel me with him, our bodies in effortless synchronicity as I slid in and out of him.

He spread his legs a little wider in the hopes of me going deep again, so I took the hint this time as I didn’t want to frustrate him further as I alternated my thrusts between shallow and deep his head tipping back as he hissed “Yes, yes, yes!” every time I hit his prostate.

 

He looked so beautiful all hot and bothered as the sweat rolled down his back and he met my thrusts with eager precision sending us both into overdrive.

I could feel the familiar feeling of heat burning low in my stomach as my thrusts got harder the sound of skin slapping against skin driving me on as he moaned like a whore.

It was all getting too much for Tommy Joe as he leant his forehead against one of his arms on the cool wall, his other immediately going to his throbbing cock to pump it almost furiously in sync with my thrusts.

 

“Adam, I’m going to… come” he struggled with the words as his breathing laboured

 

“Hang on baby, come with me” I whispered kissing whichever piece of skin I could reach at that moment

 

I continued to slam into his sweet spot as long as I could even though I could feel his legs shaking as if they were about to give way, three more thrusts and I came undone.

Spilling white hot come inside him as he came hard all over his hand, chest rising and falling fast as we both rode out our orgasms. Tommy Joe had always been it for me, he had been the only one to make me feel like this after sex, like I was complete.

I pulled out of him and swept him up into my arms as if I were a groom carrying his bride, my thick cum spilling out of his ass as I swiftly carried him to the bedroom. Laying him down gently on my large king size bed he finally opened his eyes to look at me, hand cupping my face as he kissed me seductively.

 

“I’m a wreck” he murmured

 

“But you’re my wreck” I countered kissing his face all over till he wrinkled his nose and giggled

 

“Am I?”

 

I looked deep into those brown eyes “I’ve loved you for a lifetime without you even knowing it” I told him running my fingers through his sweat soaked hair

 

“I’m sorry, I’m rushing things” I said suddenly feeling like I’d said too much and freaked him out. It’s not every day that you split up with your girlfriend as a heterosexual man and end up having dirty hot sex with your homosexual boss the next day.

Especially when he then starts telling you he loves you and you’re not even one hundred percent sure about your sexuality, I cursed myself for being a hopeless romantic.

 

“It’s okay” he said twining his fingers with my own “I think I’ve been trying to deny it to myself since we met. But there’s something about you, like I’ve known you forever. It’s like you’re the person I never knew I was searching for. You make me feel… happy” he said quietly

 

Without another word I got up to fetch something to clean him up with, by the time I got back he was laying spread eagle on the bed with a sleepy but happy expression and it made me laugh.

I washed him quickly, not able to resist swiping my finger against his red sensitive hole to collect some of my cum to taste. He watched me with keen eyes emitting s breathy moan as he watched “Don’t! you’re going to make me hard again” he whined as I finished cleaning him fully.

 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing” I teased running my hand over that soft pale skin I had missed for too long, as I marvelled in his beauty once more

 

“It is, because next time I want to fuck _you_ ” he bit the tip of his finger suggestively and my groin started to ache again

 

“Is that so? Well…. We shall see about that”

 

“Boo! You’re no fun! I am like a newborn gay. I should be cock deep in asshole right now” he stuck his tongue out playfully and I leant forward to lick it with my own tongue causing him to wiggle excitedly

 

“this is true, but for now you are far too tired to satisfy my needs” I joked pulling the covers out from underneath him so he had to get into the bed.

 

Once he was positioned I climbed in beside him dragging his small body against me so that his head rested on my chest and his leg hooked over my hip.

Once our bodies were settled and I could feel his warm breath tickle my chest he spoke again “Are you any good at telling stories? I don’t usually sleep very well” he said conversationally.

 

“Sometimes” my hand rubbing small circles on his back as he yawned

 

“Tell me one?” he nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck.

 

I took a deep breath taking in his scent which had changed from its Nephilim form into something more human and just plain Tommy Joe.

I was happy at last with his tiny body pressed against mine, the whole world stopping so that we were the only two living things encapsulated in this moment. And I felt the sting of tears well up in my eyes as I realised it was all worth it, I had gone through so much over these years but it had all been worth it to find him again, and to live as I wanted with who I wanted. So I secretly sent a prayer of thanks out into the universe with the hopes my mother would hear it.

  

“Once upon a time there was an Archangel, who fell in love with a little Nephilim….”


End file.
